ANY GUESSES? When American Idol Carrie Underwood tells InStyle that "I've been cheated on a time or two. It's tough," just who might she be referring to?

FROM THE LAND OF MAKE BELIEVE "Carrie Underwood confirmed to Isthishappening.com sources this morning that she is no longer dating Chace Crawford!!" [ITH]

• More surprising than the fact that Brooke Hogan lip-syncs? The fact that people actually showed up to watch her perform.

• Breaking: O.J. possibly didn't do it! Sources say there's a remote possibility Simpson didn't even know about the gun used during the crazy Vegas robbery-slash-shitshow meltdown. Either that or he was totally set up by some racist cops.

• Bounty hunter continues to be racist, slanderous otherwise disagreeable.

• Former American Idol winner Carrie Underwood cleans up at the Country Music Awards, leaves Ruben Studdard to once again wonder exactly where he went so wrong.

• Super-sized grandmother attempts to seduce Enrique Iglesias with her humongous girdle.

American Idol premieres tonight, and it's time once again to be reminded of all the poor, misguided fools who only think they have real talent. And, as always, as we look forward to a new season of tone-deaf nitwits, drunk hosts and snotty British quips, we're forever reminded of the Idol stars who will forever live on in our hearts.

After all, who could forget the off-key (yet lovable) William Hung, who became a cult-favorite for his tuneless rendition of the Ricky Martin classic, "She Bangs?" Or how about Katharine McPhee's top-secret, highly publicized struggle with bulimia? What of Carrie Underwood, the Idol winner who's best known for being NFL star Tony Romo's jock supporter? And, of course, there was the outcry over the Reuben vs. Clay finale (which, ironically, didn't matter anyway as neither one went on to achieve any sort of greatness.)

And, more recently, in all the hype surrounding the new season, let us not forget the main characters: the judges. Paula, with her usual effervescence, delivered a slurred, incoherent but nonetheless energetic sound byte about the intoxicating season-opener. And Randy, with his street-chic eloquence, continues to be irritatingly neutral on all issues not pertaining to Famous People Randy Jackson Knows. But it was Simon who won us over this time, when he generously—and with his characteristic humility—praised Kelly Clarkson as being way better than that artsy Bob Dylan character.

We'll be watching tonight, oh yes, we'll be watching. Because in only a short matter of time, the nobodies of today will soon be well on their way to becoming the has-beens of tomorrow.

Guess which B-list celebrity we despise having to write about? Carrie Underwood, and it's not because she's destined to be the next Tara Conner, but because with the exception of Kelly Clarkson and Jennifer Hudson, American Idols should not stay on your radar for more than 60 days past the series' finale. But when a Scoop Wars soldier alerts us to a battle to be faught, our unwritten rules fall to the wayside.

At the center of this Scoop Wars battle is word that AI winner Underwood is dating Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, who's been linked to Jessica Simpson in the past. David Perel's National Enqurier – flying high this afternoon with a just-launched website redesign – set out word yesterday at 4:20pm that the "Thanksgiving flirtation has turned into a New Year romance," with full details hitting the print issue of the Enqurier, on sale today.

But then Richard Spencer's In Touch Weekly went and dropped the "exclusive" bomb, claiming the scoop at 5:10pm yesterday:

Now Tony, 26, who has been linked with Jessica Simpson, has confirmed that he and Carrie are a couple in an interview with a small-town paper in Charleston, Ill., where he played college football. The article will appear in Wednesday's Journal Gazette/Times-Courier.

Wait, what's that? The news actually came from a small town Illinois paper? We found the article, which carries a pre-holiday, Dec. 19 publication date.

So who gets this exclusive and the Scoop Wars win?

CONTINUED »