According to Forbes.com, where rich businessmen gather to discuss how good lying feels, Nicole Kidman was the most overpaid actress in Hollywood last year. On average, Kidman's films earned just one dollar for every dollar she was paid; The Invasion actually lost almost $3 for every dollar in Kidman's salary.
A reminder: a schoolteacher, police officer or AIDS researcher would probably find it difficult to get work if they failed so majorly so consistently.
After the jump, the rest of the top 10.
• Oprah Winfrey is really, really sorry that she "saved" a bunch of impoverished South African children by subjected them to habitual beatings and repeated fondlings.
• Paris' body is a wonderland.
• So is Hugh Jackman's, but for very different reasons.
• Catherine Zeta-Jones, like all women in Hollywood who drop a few pounds from eating healthy and exercising regularly, totes has an eating disorder.
• Meanwhile, Cate Blanchett has put on 2 or 3 pounds, which constitutes irrefutable evidence that she's knocked up.
• Jessica Simpson reminds us why her (creepy!) dad/manager is so proud of his daughter's rack.
• It turns out this isn't even the first time Ellen DeGeneres regifted a stray dog. She's reportedly been peddling those second-hand bitches all over town!
• If you had to make out with one of these two Kid Rocks, which would you choose? (And no fair saying "assisted suicide.")
• Young urban black communities continue to ignore the risks of smoking in favor of the allure of nicotine.
• Jake Gylennhaal tries to pull a Larry Craig, gets confused and ends up in a women's lavatory with Susan Sarandon instead.
• Producers of I Think I Love My Wife wisely encourage Chris Rock not to dump his spouse until after the film's release.
• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou made out all night at Boulevard 3; other restaurant goers suddenly lose their appetites.
• Is John Mayer dating Jessica Simpson because she's just a dumb blond?
• Paris Hilton faces the possibility of 90-days in jail for driving with a suspended license. Naturally, she won't actually get any jail time because she's very, very rich.
• Pete Doherty is living in sin with Kate Moss and smoking doobies with penguins.
• Someone stole Cate Blanchett's $100,000 handbag before the Oscars, which would have been far more interesting had she actually won.
At Monday night's premiere of Notes on a Scandal, the stars came out in droves. And by "stars," we mean "people in the movie," of course. And, um, Dave Zinczenko.
The legendary Lauren Bacall swooped in for a photo op with the cast – who were as surprised to see her as we – and Love Actually star Bill Nighy confessed his most "scandalous" act: "dropping [his] trousers in Picadilly Circus". Ewwsville.
Seventeen-year old Andrew Simpson proved to be a bona fide underage hottie (soon to be seen on Dateline: To Catch a Predator), and Amy Smart went incognito, sporting a mousy-brown haircut to avoid being seen with a mousy-brown haircut.
Cate Blanchett, however, became the evening's highlight when she finally arrived — very fashionable, and very late. Just a full 90 minutes after her expected arrival time, the Aussie star shunned the press-line, stayed for nearly four minutes, and turned around to flee in her gigantic "don't-look-at-me-I'm-famous!" black SUV.
Natch, Blanchett skipped out on the movie entirely, but resurfaced for the swanky after-party at the Metropolitan Club. True to form, we hear Cate continued making Star Jones look like a pleaser at the movie's official press junket yesterday. Someone unlucky enough to attend tells us she was somewhat "friendlier" than she was Monday night, but that had something to do with her "method acting."
We hear Cate Blanchett has backed out of Vanity Fair's Hollywood issue. Her official excuse for leaving Graydon Carter's mag behind is that she has a "scheduling conflict," which has left editors pissed after a complex "femme fatal" spread was arranged for her. (Last year, you'll remember, he issue's special editor Tom Ford posed with a nude Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley.) While it's likely there's a more sinister reason than Cate having another obligation, we haven't beefed up any decent speculation. Except one insider speculates Cate may be sticking by Babel co-star Brad Pitt, who's on rocky terms with the rag after it managed to turn him into a cover story through a backdoor "Art Issue" excuse. Which would be much more titillating than a "My assistant screwed things up in Google Calendar" excuse.
• Indy queens Sofia Coppola and Kirsten Dunst come together for a period piece. Ok, that sounded super lezzy, but you know what we mean. [AP]
• If TV can't help you find a man, and craigslist can't help you find a lover, and a Porsche isn't getting you the Long Island ladies, you can always listen to the radio. [FBNY]
• The New York Times earned itself a few points for giving Lost the attention it deserves. Even if it was an AP story. [NYT]
• Paris Hilton is a gay icon? Was this determined by her nipple flashing on the beach? We don't get it. [Socialite's Life]
• Of course! Why didn't we ever think of that? Cate Blanchett is totally the andrdodge Bob Dylan. Wait, did ever get out of the androdge phase? [Mollygood]
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