"I have to say I think I'd be handicapped if I was linked to a magazine," she said at one point. And later, she elaborated, "In my month's experience editing The Daily Beast, I am so excited by it, so enthralled by it, so kind of invigorated by it that it does make me realize the great opportunities of this digital world. And I have to say I would hate to have to be in the magazine world right now. It's a really tough time to be a magazine editor, trying to compete, in a sense with that pace and that exhilaration and the multimedia nature [of the web]."

-Tina Brown, exercising the old ghosts of her Talk magazine during the EconWomen's conference

What were Cathie Black and Jann Wenner discussing over lunch at the Hearst cafeteria today? (Jann was having "chocolate covered somethings.")

Neal Boulton, we hope!

Given our somewhat tired/hungover state this morning, we only glanced at today's Media Pad, and thus missed a veritable gem about Hearst Magazines prez Cathie Black. It seems Black was on the view recently (sometime after the Rosie/Elisabeth splitscreen screaming match, hence after we decided to care) and she apparently had a lot to say about, well, everything.

Most of it was boring forever (tips on salary negotiations, blahblahblah) until we got to the part where she explains the very best way to fire someone.

Black explained her approach to dismissing employees (perhaps if they ask for too much money?). "If you do have to fire someone, you have another person in the room, because we live in a much more litigious world today. You don't get into ‘he said, she said.' You make it very short, and ideally you make it somewhere else, not your office. Why? Because it's harder to get up and leave your own office and leave a person sitting there. Whereas if you're in a conference room, you can say, ‘You know, I think it's finished.'" If only the conference rooms at the Hearst Tower could talk.

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Hearst chief Cathie Black has seen the numbers. "What numbers?," your innocent soul asks. The ad page numbers for the first half of the year, including those of Seventeen. It's not that Cathie isn't aware of how her magazines are faring at any single timestamp. But when it's put out there for all to see, as it is in today's Women's Wear Daily – that under Ann Shoket's editorial direction, Seventeen's ad pages fell 9.5 percent, while Teen Vogue climbed 1.5 percent – it's hard not to get a little pissed at your hand-picked Atoosa replacement. Especially when a magazine like Real Simple (looked upon with disdain by any book that has any attachment to fashion) leverages its television partnerships for a nearly 20 percent page gain, while Seventeen's relationship with America's Next Top Model has proven as useful as Tyra's repetitive script.

If you've ever reached the end of a Cindy Adams or Liz Smith column, you know how dreadful a party report can be. The hue of the red carpet might be the lede, while the way Barry Diller shakes hands turns into a three paragraph anecdote of how Cindy learned to tie her laces. But a James Brady party report reads appropriately like a fly on the wall — and what else would you expect from Page Six's creator? Writing for Forbes, James files copy from Hearstette Cathie Black's holiday party. Granted, Cathie's bash at her townhouse took place before Thanksgiving and the article took until today to find its way online, but you know how the Internet works these days: things take forev to post. Those "Save" buttons are tricky.

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Exclusive

After three years at the helm of Hearst's teen (tween?) title and 13 years spent inside Hearst's hallways, we're told Atoosa Rubenstein is leaving the House of Seventeen. Yep, the Today show fixture, the MySpace maven, the Big Momma (we'll stop now) is walking out the door. We hear that she's staying on through the end of the year, but already put Hearst chief Cathie Black on notice that she's done editing the title.

Which leaves so many questions: Where is she headed? What will happen to the CosmoGIRL staffers that came with her? Will the lip gloss recommendations change?

Not entirely sure, who knows, and god, we hope not! From what we understand, Atoosa is branching out of the staid world of print and embarking on something multimedia, though that's the same excuse Lloyd Grove gave while TMZ.com was turning him down. (And, just like Lloyd appears to own LloydGrove.com, Atoosa looks to be in control of Atoosa.com. AtoosaRubenstein.com, meanwhile, remains in Hearst's hands.)

Atoosa's contract expired in August, we're told, and she's been a free agent ever since. And that hasn't sat well with Cathie Black, whose Hearst house has been left in disarray ever since the 'Toos announced her impending exit — and refused Black's pleas to stay.

Thus far, Black hasn't yet found a successor to Rubenstein, though one insider's instinct suggests Jane's Brandon Holley (if only so Hearst can say they traded one EIC for another), or perhaps Seventeen's own Gina Kelly, the fashion director whose career began at the magazine.

And while Atoosa and Cathie are said to be parting ways on good terms, one insider wanted to make sure we didn't over look last month's spat of nasty Page Six items aimed at the 'Toos. Plants from the Hearst queen's executive suite?

On a related note, we're told Seventeen.com editor Sara Lieberman (a Gear refugee) split – on good terms – for the New York Post last week. And those rumors going around about Marie Claire editor Joanna Coles being the Hearstie making the surprise exit? False, we're told.

Meanwhile, one insider told us Atoosa had already told several of her staff members in recent weeks that she'd be leaving at the end of this month; that theory has been shot down by multiple tattlers — and, if it's true Atoosa hasn't told her underlings, the entire Seventeen team will be waking up to this news of their leader's departure. Now make like a MSNBC staffer and start printing those resumes.

All is not well under the glass facade of the new Hearst Tower — especially given tonight's dedication ceremony, where Hearst chieftan Cathie Black will welcome her editors, publishers, advertisers, and virtually the identical guest list as Fox News' 10th Anniversary soiree. Over the weekend Page Six reported Seventeen editrix Atoosa Rubenstein hired "crisis manager" Mike Sitrick, the go-to guy for the likes of R. Kelly — only the latest in a string of reports about the 'Toos's internal affairs: losing top-level staffers, possibly being sued by a former intern-slash-Miss Seventeen candidate. So where does the latest development fall on West 57th? Hard to tell, given our investigative resources are being devoted to finding the home addresses of the magazine's 17 Hottest Guys.

IMAGE DOCTOR [Page Six]

SHOP Etc.'s staffers learned of their demise in the most Hollywood of publishing industry ways: Hearst chief Cathie Black marched into the office on 1790 Broadway, unannounced, and flanked by Hearst exec John Hartig and publishing director Michael Clinton. She called for the staff to be rounded up and summarily delivered the news about the magazine's shuttering. Shortly after Black gave the noon-time news to SHOP Etc.'s 40-odd staffers and corporate cousin Weekend, we spoke with Shop's executive editor Charla Krupp, who was devasted over her magazine's closure.

"This magazine is really on a roll," she tells us. "People are gaga over this magazine. They love it. The women who read it are obssessed with it. … We just came back from focus groups, who reported it was an A+." But don't confuse Krupp's cheerleading the editorial – staffers "really killed themselves to come up with something new" – as any sort of naivety about the numbers game: "It wasn't a hit with advertisers. … If you're not a million circulation [magazine], a lot of big companies" don't have any interest. At "just" 675,000 readers, SHOP didn't hit that target.

Black and her cohorts, meanwhile, did provide staffers with individual contacts in HR to work on internal reassignments. Lists of openings were distrbuted, but that didn't quash the tears that many staffers shared.

So did the news come as a surprise? "Yes, absolutely," says Krupp, who's been there since the magazine's January 2004 beginnings. You mean SHOP staffers didn't have a sense of worry even when, across Times Square, Conde Nast was shuttering titles like Cargo? "No! Because we're better! You can't even say Cargo and Shop Etc. in the same breath."

Krupp, who just completed two stints on shopping channel HSN (selling 5,000 new subscriptions in minutes), says she's more fortunate than most of her masthead minions, as she has ties through the industry and in TV. And you never mess with a woman who's mastered both the Today show and HSN.

Earlier: Hearst's Quick & Simple To Remain Speedy & Facile
Earlier: Closing Up SHOP for the Weekend Update: Hearst Never Made Room at the New Tower
Earlier: Breaking: Hearst Closes Up SHOP Just in Time for the Weekend
Related: All Hearst coverage

Remember a week or so ago when we read that Marie Claire EIC Joanna Coles landed her new gig by making the ballsy move of jumping into Hearst prez Cathie Black's car and riding to the airport with her? We were mad impressed yo! She had the guts and the backbone and she made something happen for herself. How unique and non-cliche we thought. Maybe MC really is going in a new direction.

And then, today, our free access to the New York Sun took a million pins and burst every little bubble that was floating around us. The truth comes out about why, exactly, Coles jumped in Black's ride.

I was away on vacation and only found out on the day I got back that I had an interview with Cathie Black," Ms. Coles recalled. Ms. Black is the president of Hearst Magazines, which, with Marie Claire Album of Paris, owns Marie Claire. "So I rushed out to have my hair done, and then went over to her office. But there was a mix-up and they told me she was just about to leave for the airport to go to Europe for a week on business. I knew I had to see her. After all, I had had my hair done! I went to her apartment and just climbed into the car with her."

It's like finding out Ashlee "everyone is unique and beautiful" Simpson got a nose job.

Editor Puts Her Stamp on Marie Claire [Myrna Blyth, New York Sun]

On Friday, Post-It Keith Kelly brought news that some 2,000 Hearst staffers had received their walking papers — to the new 46-story tower that Cathie Black, peering out from the executive suite on the 43rd floor, will reign over. Now we've managed to get our grubby little hands on moving plans and, at a quick glance, we see the move will happen in drawn-out 10 phases as the address flips to West 57th.

Each group, from editorial to legal to interactive, are being assigned colored "move tags" as well as a team captain. So if Oprah's editorial minions, who move the week of June 12 (Phase 6), get lost on their way to the 36th floor, they can consult with Sudie Redmond. And Redbook's circle of experts on how to live a proper middle-aged female life, who move the week of June 19 (Phase 7), can ask Kim Cheney how to get to the 22nd floor, should the black/yellow tags not point the way, while Atoosa Rubenstein's Seventeenies, shipping out during Phase 3 the week of May 15, will find their new home, appropriately, on the 17th floor.

After the jump, find your floor, tag color, and team captain — or at least figure out where HR can be found when Hearst pulls a Hachette job, kills your book, and offers to "relocate" you internally.

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