• Madonna finds another Malawi "orphan" to rescue snatch away from the evil clutches of her biological parents.

• CBGB's is dead. And now so is its founder.

• Owen Wilson is officially dropped from the upcoming "Frat Pack" comedy, Tropical Thunder, presumably because they don't allow movie cameras into the suicide ward of Cedars-Sinai hospital.

• Tucker Carlson doesn't hate gay people. He just likes beating them up in public restrooms.

• Facebook trounces Google 15-11 in a heated game of ultimate frisbee. "Huh," murmured a stunned Google tosser. "So that's what it feels like to come in second."

Well, that was fun. After some 34 years hosting rock music's influentials (and putting the stench of high school locker rooms to shame), CBGB & OMFUG said goodbye with one last hurrah. Cue the twentysomething East Village hipsters who don't know what "CBGB" stands for to wrap the block, every other one of them sporting a classic CBGB tee. And while the farewell show brought home some of the club's most notable performers, it also conjured up a level of existentialism one would usually head to the Bowery to escape.

• "It’s the cultural rape of New York City that this place is being pushed out." —John Nikolai, 36, Staten Island photographer

• "It’s a symptom of the empty new prosperity of our city." —Patti Smith

• "When you get beyond the layers of interior decoration that is CBGB, the architecture of the structure probably evokes the 19th and early 20th century years of the Bowery better than any other building on the strip that we know of.” — Marci Reaven, managing director of City Lore, a nonprofit arts group

• "Are they still selling T-shirts?" — Asshole with asymmetrical haircut we just made up

CBGB Brings Down the Curtain With Nostalgia and One Last Night of Rock [Ben Sisario, NYT]

(Photo: Randsom)

• Grammys? Forget about it. The real music award news is the New Pantheon Award, presented to a band whose album has sold less than 500,000 copies. The selection panel includes types such as Elijah Wood, Margaret Cho and Beck. How precious is that? [Pitchfork]

• CBGB's is finally really and truly closing next Halloween. Yeah, we'll believe it when we see it. [NYT]

• Bon Jovi's Dec. 17 concert will be the first ever concert streamed live to Sprint wireless phones — for all three people who are Sprint customers, subscribers to the service and listen to Bon Jovi. [Billboard]

• A quarter of a decade later and John Lennon fans are still harping on his relationship with Yoko Ono. It's a bit of a moot point by now, don't you think? [Billboard]

• Oxford American Dictionary has named "podcast" the word of the year! Take that, "wiki" and "phishing." [BrooklynVegan]

• One courageous blogger has taken it upon himself to compile a list of all "Best of 2005," uhm, lists on the Internet. This should save you hours of useless Internet surfing in order to make sure your own list is cool enough. [Fimoculous]

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoyed their first "official public appearance as a couple. And by "public" we mean avoiding the red carpet and slipping inside through a back door. [Star]

• Us Weekly is claiming firsties on Christina Aguilera's marriage to music exec Jordan Bratman. The weekend wedding in Napa was absolutely start studded — Sharon Stone was there, and so was Aguilera's manager Irving Azoff! Paparazzi frenzy, narrowly avoided. [Us Weekly]

• So desperate to get on The Ellen Degeneres Show, ex-Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown hired a choreagrapher and cameraman to tape her dancing to Andrew Lloyd Webber, which will make a great reel at the next Cosmo lunch. [Gatecrasher]

• If Nelly is going to drop $10,000 at a strip club, he can certainly afford to drop $10,000 on charity. Hooray for guilty consciouses. [Page Six]

• Jay-Z is putting the finishing touches on his Tribeca penthouse, which he had to fight to buy last year thanks to wary tenants. But it was worth the fight: He'll be able to escape his Time Warner Center pad, which counts girlfriend Beyonce's mom Tina as a neighbor. [R&M]

• The NYPD might not know who Peter Braunstein is, but they do know he's been caught. You know, except he's hasn't. [Gatecrasher]

• Kelly Osbourne is furious at Stavros Niarchos for ruining her 21st birthday bash in Vegas by pulling the sprinkler lever. Oh the irony of Kelly calling Stavros a stupid rich kid with too much money. [Page Six]

• Some say CBGB's is moving to the Hard Rock Hotel in Times Square, but owner Hilly Kristal wouldn't know about it. Either way, we walked past it one night this weekend — and the crowd that spilled out onto the sidewalk didn't exactly indicate an eviction notice. [Lowdown]

• Nick Lachey + porn star = Tabloid heaven. [Page Six]

• Surprise: Whacked out Joaquin Phoenix skipped another Walk The Line event. [Page Six]

It's going to prove a little tough for CBGB's to keep those September shows booked now that the rock club's landlords have finally got around to serving that eviction notice.

It appeared yesterday at 5:30pm (also known as "long after we're done publishing this site for the day and on our way to drunk) and it took CBGB's owners just a few hours to have a release on the wires.

Even after the Manhattan Courts ruled that CBGB was not in the wrong about incorrectly billed rent increases and should not be evicted, CBGB was served with eviction papers from their landlord, a homeless organization, the Bowery Residents Committee.

To Date, CBGB Has:

– Agreed to pay significant rent increases

– Obtained Certificate of Occupancy for the entire building

– Secured two separate third-party guarantors

– Agreed to provide a substantial security deposit

– Agreed to contribute $97,500 (the amount of the disputed rent arrears plus interest) in good faith to the BRC upon receiving a new lease, even though the Manhattan courts ruled that CBGB did not owe any money to the BRC

– Guaranteed to raise the BRC additional funds in good faith through fundraising efforts, with a target of $100,000

What they haven't agreed to, however, is to get the fuck out of 315 Bowery. Amen, sister.

Even though yesterday's Washington Square Park CBGB's rally, featuring Public Enemy, Blondie and Gavin Rossdale, came and went without a resigned lease, the owners of the expiring rock club have yet to be served with an eviction notice from landlord Bowery Residents' Committee.

Not only are club owners staying put, they've got their schedule booked through September with no phone calls going out to cancel any acts.

So if you're not doing anything to commemorate 9/11, think about stopping by. Cover is only $10 — if you can get through the boarded up windows.

• While Joss Stone took over for Sarah Jessica Parker's waning Gap campaign, the soulstress will be taking a backseat for the retailer's fall campaign. She'll only be a backup singer, alongside Destiny's Child's Michelle Williams and Alanis Morissette's complementing spots.

• CBGB's, which is fighting for its 31-year-old life, is embarking on a series of benefit concerts — or, as we're translating, a farewell tour they hope lasts longer than Cher's.

• Forget MTV's I Want A Famous Face, because now you can actually have the real thing. You know, if Tara Reid is done with hers .. and you'd even want it.

• Finally someone else (even if its Slate) realizes the genius behind Geico's Tiny House advertisements. And though a reality show based on the spot will likely never air, we're pleased to the know the actors suffered through the 4.5-foot ceilings for quite some time.

• Vince Vaughn doesn't understand the American obsession with celebrity. Neither do we, but we'll keep on feeding it to ya'll!

• If you couldn't get enough of Dove's graffiti-laced ads, there's plenty more for you.

• Obvious news of the day: Product placement in print is on the up and up.