O.J. Simpson learns the hard way that, when you deal with unethical criminal persons, you run the risk that they'll eventually turn around and testify against you on the off chance that your tape-recorded, not very well executed armed robbery stint goes sour. Says (now former) friend-slash-accomplice Walter Alexander:

Out by the pool at the posh Palms resort a few hours before the alleged heist, “he asked me if I could watch his back,” after which “he leaned forward and it was kind of like, ‘Hey, do you think you can get some heat?’ ” Alexander testified. “‘Just in case things go wrong—just in case, you know, they may have heat, you know, can you bring some heat?’"

For those of you not in the know, "bring some heat" is tantamount to saying "bring a loaded firearm." Which, unfortunately for the Juice, pokes a gaping hole in O.J.'s "Gun? What gun?" and "I've been framed! Again!" defenses.

It's official. Britney Spears has finally lost custody of her two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James, who have been ordered to stay with their father "until further order of the court."

According to E! Online:

Federline is seeking primary physical custody of the youngsters over concern for his boys' well-being, claiming the youngsters are in a less than safe environment while under their mother's watch.

Friends of Spears are already characterizing Britney's recent slew of erratic and self-destructive behavior as "tragic." Meanwhile, legal experts prefer to look at it as the makings of "the easiest case of all time."

Remember yesterday when we were totally joking about TMZ throwing away an opportunity to make fun of Lindsay's heinous mugshot? Well, apparently the Daily News was listening! Also, turns out the photo wasn't ugly because, well, it's a mugshot and they're generally unflattering, but because Lohan has alcohol-induced rosacea. (Please, like you didn't already know).

'The strung-out starlet, booked for cocaine possession and suspicion of drunk driving, had a frightful mug shot that might be a direct result of substance abuse," warns the News.

How? Why? Explain!

"Drugs can have a pretty profound effect on how you look in addition to just the lack of self-care that people often have when they're actively using," says pseudo medical expert/alarmist, Dr. Susan Blank, who then goes on to make fun of LiLo's fugly picture under the guise of professional concern.

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