Sometimes you gotta love the New York Observer. 'Why?' you ask. Because their newspaper is an awkward shade of salmon, because their barely legal publisher still gets carded on a regular basis, because you're sneakily addicted to the Transom.

And because just when you thought they've lost a bit of their legendary bite, they go and write an entire article praising Chloe Sevigny, Claire Danes and Parker Posey on becoming has-beens, chiding Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohans for being shoulda-coulda-woulda trainwrecks, and patting boring-but-talented stars Maggie Gyllenhaal and Hilary Swank on the back for being in bed before midnight…and totally redeem themselves!

(Special bonus points for the artwork, as well as the bold hypothesis that Claire Danes ingeniously reinvented herself by stealing Mary-Louise Parker's boyfriend when the Weeds star was 8 months pregnant).

• Gina Glockson inexplicably loses out to her skanky, bug-eyed and well-coiffed competitors.

• Was Joseph Gordon Levitt's pap smear real or staged?

• Quentin Tarantino made out with four lovely ladies at Butter. Which is, admittedly, a huge step up from hitting on MTV interns at the premiere of My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

• Between her crappy reality TV series and her (presumably) crappy upcoming memoirs, L'il Kim's 5 minutes in prison could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to her!

• Tinsley Mortimer and Chloe Sevigny BFF? Tins possibly being enlightened on what it's really like to go down on Vincent Gallo?

• George Clooney confuses lemonade stand with Starbucks, spends $20 quenching his thirst.

• Keira Knightley, Uma Thurman, and Jennifer Lopez all traded in their Valentino dresses at the last minute. Even more shocking, Tom Ford didn't stick his tongue in Keira's ear until she succumbed to wearing him. [NYP]

• Brokeback Mountain may have done alright at Sundance, but Hollywood likes to keep the winners in the multiracial heterosexual family. [NYT]

• Chloe Sevigny loves the gossip and the tabloids … probably because she's never actually in them. [Page Six]

• At 44, Christopher Reeve's widow Dana Reeve dies of lung cancer. [CNN]

• Lloyd Grove makes it through an Oscar Awards party without crying over Rush & Molloy getting the better scoop. [Lowdown]

Witness, Chloe Sevigny at HBO's Golden Globes after party.

Finally, Reese Witherspoon has someone else to feel sorry for.

(Oh, it's Friday, we'll post whatever we want!)

Related: Chanel totally punks our Reese