We were just forwarded this press which outlines Jeffry Rackover's birthday party in Bridge Hampton. Who the fuck is that you ask? Oh, he's a "jeweler to the stars." Like you care.

Anyways, what we love absolutely most about this press release is not that it was sent instead of an invitation (we're assuming — the release wasn't actually sent to us!), nor the fact that it actual admits to having Britney Gastineu at the party.

What we love most about this press release, sent from Grubman PR (who else?) is the loving description is bestows on Hamptons queen and PR mogul, Lizzie Grubman herself.

At his birthday party on Saturday night he drew many Hampton socials and celebrities at his private residence in Bridge Hampton despite the horrible monsoon going on outside. Notable guests included, Lisa & Britney Gastineau, Rosanna Scotto, Loraine Bracco & Jason Cippola, supper model Samantha Tannehill, society dame Jane Pontarelli, and glowingly pregnant Lizzie Grubman & husband Chris Stern.

For more glowing Lizzie, go here — for rest of the nauseating information about the party you weren't invited to, read on after the jump.

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Isn't it great how the "we got pregnant on our Honeymoon" story never gets old? Today's Rush & Molloy column hints that we might be swallowing that line from Lizzie Grubman and Chris Stern next week.

We're assured there is no news just yet, but we're "expecting" to hear an announcement from Lizzie Grubman and new hubby Chris Stern after they return from their Paris honeymoon this weekend. …

It goes without saying, we're "expecting" driving lessons for little Lizzie Jr. to be fun times. We hope Chris gets put in charge of that life lesson. Let Lizzie stick to tips like, "how to choose the best peroxide for your tan."

Side Dish [Rush & Molloy]