Guess who showed up to ruin your weekend? The (Jewish) mother of all guilt trips, PETA, came to rain on the couture parade, surprising no one except people naive enough to think the organization had gotten over the tacky red paint guerrilla tactics they've been using since the 90s. A staple of FW as much Anna Wintour's bob blocking your view of the runway, the group repeated assaults on the same designer they targeted back in February. It's called variety, PETA:
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• We asked a lesbian alien, and seeing Christina Ricci and Reese Witherspoon together really is her fantasy.
• Jessica Alba may be having twins! Sorry, we don't just hand out double exclamation points.
• We give up on trying to understand the image Perez Hilton is going for.
• Too bad Zac Efron's handlers can't use his sexuality to deny the rumors of a sex tape with him and "GF" Vanessa Hudgens.
• Dennis Quaid has aged remarkably well, but we still doubt he's rocking his natural hair color.
• Celebrities have butts: An investigation.
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Rumors are circulating right this very second that Anna Wintour and Christina Ricci are, in fact, the exact same person. And though we see the resemblance (bobbed haircut, gangly limbs, shared propensity for wearing fire engine red) we can't help but wonder if the cherubic-faced Ricci's a bit too upbeat to pass for the much-older maudlin Vogue editrix.
Our verdict? Sorry, Xtina, but unless that hint of a smile playing on your red-tinted lips is really the cruel smirk of a post-firing euphoria, we're simply not convinced that you're capable of eating your own offspring. That's all.
• Nicole Richie joins everyone over the age of 13 in making fun of Lizzy McGuire.
• As the FBI's case against maybe-rapist David Copperfield grows stronger with every passing day, fellow illusionist Criss Angel is totally on the verge of conceding that his wand-toting rival just might be the Creepiest Magician Of Them All.
• Halle Berry attempts to divert attention away from her "Jewish people have funny noses" gaffe by waving her disconcertingly large boobs in everyone's faces.
• Meanwhile, we keep hearing all this talk about Christina Aguilera's "twins." Come on, people. Is that really any way to refer to a pregnant lady's funbags?
• Kelly Clarkson may be chubby. Then again, maybe she's freakishly normal and society has warped our innocent littel minds with its impossible standards of weight and beauty. Either way, her music sucks.
• Lindsay Lohan's accidentally exposes her right nipple after her new boyfriend intentionally gropes her giant breasts.
• Christina Ricci got into character for Black Snake Moan by prancing around in the buff and looking seductively at Justin Timberlake.
• The reviews are in, and Waitress just may be the best only thing that's happened to Kerri Russell since Felicity.
• Jessica Alba, bringing wet-sand-sticking-to-her-ass back.
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