Fresh off his role as the punchline to Gov. Mike Huckabee's presidential bid, Chuck Norris is taking a fresh stab at politics by weighing in on Proposition 8 protests. In an op-ed called "If Democracy Doesn't Work, Try Anarchy", he cries "Where are the hate-crime cops when religious conservatives need them?"
When our Thomas Jefferson, George Washington and Benjamin Franklin founded this country, what they had in mind was a leader like Mike Huckabee. Here’s a guy with a history of obesity and slightly totalitarian ideas like quarantining HIV positive gays who reinvented himself as a lovable goof with a distaste for fast food and a good sense of humor.
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Non-SAG member and presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee appeared on The Tonight Show last night to promote himself. We don’t know about you, but when we think about the kind of person we want representing us to the rest of the world, we think about bass players.
After the jump, Huckabee sort of endorses Barack Obama.
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• Chuck Norris is suing Penguin over their book, The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World's Greatest Human. Norris claims he never authorized the use of his name. In other words, he isn't getting royalties from it.
• Rupert Everett doesn't want to be typecast. Instead of starring in a movie as a gay leading man, he's writing a movie about a gay leading man.
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Not too long ago, Mike Huckabee was just a fat governor from Arkansas.
One hundred pounds, a New York Times profile and a Chuck Norris endorsement later, he’s posed to win Iowa. The guy whose border control policy is “two words: Chuck Norris” has a 5% lead over Romney according to the Des Moines Register poll. He’s picked up 17% since the last Iowa Poll two months ago.
If irony is as popular in Iowa as it is in Brooklyn, maybe we’re just one America after all.
Today, we here at Jossip Headquarters have decided to commemorate our nation's triumph over the American Indians and propensity for over-eating by taking a moment to reflect on our wonderful lives and come up with a list of things for which we are thankful. Next: raronauer.
Around this time every year, my father proclaims his greatest wish is to collect the tolls on Throgs Neck Bridge for just one Thanksgiving. But Thanksgiving is not the time for bizarre dreams of winning some sort of municipal lottery. It’s a time to give thanks to the simple pleasures things, like the four day weekend ahead of us. CONTINUED »
Chuck Norris isn’t the only aging entertainer-fighter who has lent his patented roundhouse kick to Mike Huckabee’s campaign. Rick Flair of WWE fame has also endorsed the former Arkansas governor.
The real question now is between Norris and Flair, who would win a cage match duel?
Mike Huckabee is currently fifth in the race for Republican nomination for President. His candidacy is so irrelevant that in a piece about the Times overlooking less popular candidates, Public Editor Clark Hoyt overlooked him.
If anyone can save the day, it’s Chuck Norris. The Sidekicks star has made a campy spot for the former Arkansas governor. Hey, maybe the Huckster will have more luck with a campaign based on irony than old-fashioned American values.
• Jilted ex Jennifer Aniston to turn her humiliating personal life into mediocre movie magic by starring in the pseudo-autobiographical film adaptation of "He's Just Not That Into You."
• Stick figure Teri Hatcher takes it all off for the Badgley Mischa. Presumably, because Vladamir Putin was unavailable.
• Shame on you, Chuck Norris. Both for having plastic surgery and for making us buy that worthless piece of crap known as the "Total Gym."
• Is Suri Cruise the newest Baby Gap spokesmodel? But What would Xenu do??
• Despite popping out three children, Heidi Klum is still skinner than you've ever been. Ever.
• Hilary Duff stops taking her horse tranquilizers and goes on a bender. As a result, she shows up for work chubby and hungover.
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