Just when I think Ice-T can’t get any more offensive, he goes and compares his wife to a sports car. On a family game show. In front of his mother-in-law. Host Al Roker seemed surprisingly unfazed by the show of misogyny, though. The “Ice-T Family” competed against Joan Rivers and Co. on Celebrity Family Feud last night. The families play for charities — Ice-T’s was a gang prevention program and Joan Rivers’ was a charity that gives guide dogs to the blind. You don’t have to watch until the end of the episode to know that a few blind people woke up in really good moods this morning.

The first topic was “something that’s slippery and hard to hold onto.” You know where this is going.

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• Magician Hans Klok comes out of the closet; pledges to leave all the man-on-female sex crimes to (alleged) rapist David Copperfield.

• Jodie Foster's best performance to date.

• Tyra Banks to tell you more than you ever wanted to know about her vagina.

• Courteney Cox is a surprisingly caring mother! Especially for someone who named her innocent newborn "Coco."

• And speaking of Cocos, Ice-T's wife accidentally forgets her Halloween costume at home. A pity.

• Meanwhile, Google accidentally confuses outgoing Time Warner CEO Richard Parsons with…two monkeys. Even better? The ensuing Newsweek article is entitled "Google: Glitch, Not Racism."

• Ice-T and Coco hit the beach for some fun in the sun. Unfortunately, Coco forgot her bathing suit, and had to wear two strategically placed red strings instead.

• Meanwhile, it looks as though Ice-T hasn't seen the sunlight since the mid 1990's. Watch out, man—those rickets can be a bitch!

• If you insist on wearing an ugly, purple pleather dress, at try and find one that's not three sizes too small.

• In case you ever wondered what happens when Oompa-Loomps grow up.

• We have no idea whether or not Kim Kardashian's ass has been surgically enhanced. We just wish she'd stop waving it in our face.