invidious \in-VID-ee-us\ adjective 1 : tending to cause discontent, animosity, or envy; 2 : envious; 3 a : of an unpleasant or objectionable nature : obnoxious b : of a kind to cause harm or resentment

Despite her greater success, Courtney Cox and David Arquette seemed to avoid an invidious, competitive relationship that destroys most other Hollywood couples.

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• Courtney Cox doesn't have the much of an ass.

• Coco Chanel probably never planned on Pamela Anderson wearing her designs or anything she made being shown in Vegas.

• OK! continues to be the magazine of choice for stars not secure enough with their career prospects to abstain from selling wedding pictures to pay for their future children's college education.

• Smart thinking: Slash wouldn't let his kids near Michael Jackson.

• Celebrity babies: People find them interesting!

• Jossip's New Year's party in pictures, with pink stars.1

[Photo Credit: WireImage]

• Talk of The Tabs preview: Heidi and Spencer are not so much getting married as they are starring in a MTV series.

• Courtney Cox and David Arquette continue their blissful relationship, so we continue not to care about them.

• In other Lauren Conrad spin-off news, Kristin Cavallari might be in talks for a new show on MTV.

• More thoughts on the Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy: It's not a good thing.

• We're glad we don't get holiday cards from Amy Winehouse.

• We forgot, too. Ashlee Simpson is some sort of singer.

If you're like most Americans, you've already let Courtney Cox's Dirt fall off your radar. Sure, former Friend Jennifer Aniston might be popping in for the season finale, but why waste your time with plotlines, character development, and the episodic filler during the weeks leading up to the finale when you can catch what you need to know on YouTube, anyhow?

Nonetheless, we're moving forward with our mission to deliver high-brow critiques from those with insider gossip rag knowledge. Unfortunately we only have delivery from one of our tabloid twosome, but it's plenty. The full report from Tabloider No. 1, after the jump — with ruminations on libel lawyers, publicists who deliver press releases in person, and a subject close to home for Ms. Aniston.

CONTINUED »

• This somewhat-belated parody of "Dick in the Box" is the catchiest song we've heard since 2006. And now IvyGate has finally unmasked the Box behind the Box.

• Unwaware that everyone's "had enough" of the Rosie/Barbara saga, Condi's precious Fox News reports that O'Donnell will likely not to be renewing her contract with The View.

• Check out these pics of David and Victoria Beckhams (possible) new L.A. crib! Friends are already describing the lux accommodations as "a Scientologist's wet dream."

•. Sienna Miller: the hardest non-working actress in Hollywood.

• Courtney Cox gets by with a little help from her Friends ; Jennifer Aniston agrees to guest-star on an upcoming episode of Dirt.**

• Separated at birth: Ellen DeGeneres…and Pepe Le Pew?

**assuming it doesn't get cancelled

• Kristen Cavallari of Laguna Beach is in, Lindsay Lohan is out. Just ask the presidents of cool over at the Washington Post [WaPo]

• Was your NYE in NYC a total bust? Star magazine proves you're not alone. Celebs worth seeing hate it here, too. [Star]

• A great many people share the honorable birthday of January 1st, including the first two babies born in New York City in 2006. [NYP]

• Nobody besides Matt Drudge is talking about Michael Moore's new movie Sicko (including Michael Moore). Oh, we're onto you, Drudgie. [Variety, Drudge Report]

• Even though she's a racist bliatch, Eva Longoria's boyfriend wants to marry her. Says the Enquirer. [National Enquirer]

• After making up some story about knowing Jack Nicholson, Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler flee Aspen in a state of shame. [Rush & Molloy]

• Oh no he didn't. Trying to talk to you ex's best friend like you didn't totally play her girl is a bad idea. Even if you're Brad Pitt and the friend is Courtney Cox. [Female First]

• Without Coca-Cola, movies would totally tank. Without Matt Drudge, people could enjoy the simple art of entertainment again. But alas, he will not stop. And neither will we. [Slate]