It's been quite some time – nine months, in fact – since we crashed in on Cargo magazine's online forums, where conversation ranges from stripe width on button downs to pondering whether wearing sandals have sexual overtones. While our conversations about Cargo are more likely to drift into debating Ariel Foxman's homoerotic appeal, we're still concerned with what fashion-concious Conde Nast readers have on their minds. Which brings us to this post, titled " Fuzzy Balls Tshirt."

Does anyone remember seeing the "Tennis Players have Fuzzy Balls" tshirt in a spring/summer issue last year? Im trying to find the shirt and been unsuccessful. Hopefully I can come across it.

If someone would please CC the Foxman on this, he might finally realize posts like these can mean one thing only: readers aren't using those handy sticker tabs to mark pages containing tech goodies they want to buy — they're playing pin the Cargo sticker tab on daddy's cub.

Bonus: The Fuzzy Balls tee can actually be found at Vulgaritees, which may or may not have ripped off the idea.

Fuzzy Balls Tshirt [Cargo]
Forum: Talk Cargo [Cargo]
Related: All Crashing Cargo Forum coverage

It's been a while since we checked in with our favorite fashion experts and expatriates at Cargo Forum, the men's shopping magazine's attempt at bringing readers into the fold of superficial style. Forum posts are usually filled with standard pleas against pleats and razor burn guidance, but we just spotted this cry for help from "adammaltais," who is struggling with a huge voguing dilemma:

Hey everyone, Ive been looking for a cool sweater vest for a long time. One with the cool diamond design in front. Either in a store or online doesnt matter. Im a smaller guy so it has to be small or youth large. Like the ones Adam Brody wears in season 2 of the OC. Thanks!

It's time to help out this O.C. addict, who wants to shop like Adam Brody. And be forewarned, this fella thinks sweater vests are, uhm, "cool." Especially those diamond ones that Carlton Banks wore on Fresh Prince.

Apparently the halls of Cargo Forum are for men only. Women may have made the mistake in thinking the online diaries written in call-and-response format were for their XY chromosomes by all the talk of bags, face creams and hair coloring - but then, like Campbell Robertson being turned away at a book party, they would've been just wrong.

Such is the fate of one Ms. curlyfry, who wants nothing more than to help her gay brothers in their quest for the perfect black flat-front, non-pleated pants but just can't get any love from the male members - who seem more concerned with long sleeve tees than bareback sex, a more traditional online activity for their kind.

While we're no experts like Clay Aiken in bullying, we're pretty sure Cowboy Jack is not using his indoor voice when directing his anger at the female intruder.

Seriosuly Cargo is a men's mag, cant you find some hag rag to go pester subscribers of? Ya it's a free country, but thats just plain pathetic. You can do whatever you want, but it's wholly sad that you spend any time here period. Plus im cooler than Hulk Hogan driving a Monster Truck into an Orphanage, so i got nothing to worry about.

Before she can stick up for herself, AVRGguy jumps into the fray with his copy of Avoiding Bullies for Dummies.

hey there partner I sure hope you are kidding around. if not, you are no "cowboy". As for being Jack, a JackASS that is, maybe you are. I am from Texas and that kind of attitude will get you a painful face lift, or as you called it plastic surgery. just chill, Mr. Jack. as for responses, you need more than style tips. try personal improvement tips. Here's a tip google the phrase "JackASS in need of help forum" I am sure all your questions will be answered there, maybe even a style tip or two, like restraining belts, and a muzzle. Oh yeah, leave the curlyfry alone…CHILL OUT..

But curlyfry finally chimes in just a few hours after the taunt began.

I came here to ask a question. I got my answer. Since I'm already signed up, I figured I'd stick around in case guys had any questions that I could answer, and if not, my husband can use this message board.By your attitude, CowboyJack, I can see why no one responds to your messages.

Keeping up with Craigslist's Missed Connections doesn't seem so important now, does it?

Earlier this week, we asked readers to help out our friend Shrek as part of our new segment, Crashing Cargo Forum. If you recall, Shrek only had two suits to wear for his first two weeks at Saks and didn't know how he'd survive the fashion-critical jungle that is the sales floor.

We asked our readers for help, promising the top two fashionistas with email access a pair of tickets to see the laughter-inducing show Shockheaded Peter. Admittedly, we were looking more for a laugh in our inbox than something constructive, but it turns out humor does have potential.

Up first is a tip from Brian, whose advice may or may not break local, state and federal laws, which means our attorneys forced us to put up a disclaimer along the lines of "Jossip does not condone stealing." So: Jossip does not condone stealing.

But we do condone increasing pageviews, so we placed the actual tips after the jump.

The winning responses (and thus, our ticket winners) after the jump.

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(TICKET CONTEST ALERT! READ ON!)

Wherein we categorically insult man's inability to dress themselves and expose Cargo's continued propaganda campaign targeting "straight" men, we present: Crashing Cargo Forum.

Today we're looking at schreck876's suit problem, which he accurately titled "Dumb, but I'm asking…." You see, Shrek (as we're affectionately calling him) just landed a new job - where has has to *gasp* dress formally - and doesn't have the wardrobe to support it.

But wait! Before you go running scared about hearing of someone else's fashion faux pas, there's a contest in it for you. The first two people who send in better fashion advice than what follows (from the Cargo Forum) wins a pair of tickets to go see Shockheaded Peter, which we've been describing as: "The most intelligent, adult-humored child-friendly performance we've seen this year. Uproariously funny from beginning to end, with skillfully outlandish makeup, playful song lyrics and inventive costumes. Nobody will leave without their stomach hurting from laughter." (And you can quote us on that.)

Now that the contest details are out of the way, let tune in so you can win some free shizzle. Well, tune in after the jump.

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