Oh, so you noticed we're nearly midway through August, which means the September glossies are lining the shelves on Barnes & Noble? Perhaps you've even carted a few home, or had your doorman drop them off outside your apartment door like a civilized person.

Either way, you've come to understand what your Equinox membership has really been good for all summer long: Not to look good poolside in Southampton, but to train for carting your stash of fat, shiny September titles to your sofa for afternoons of perusal. But just how fat are this month's offerings? We sent Intern Joseph to a few (dozen) Duane Reades and CVSs to find out.

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Click on thru for the NSFW merging of Jann Wenner's current lusted-after cover and the gay sensibility of Dan Peres' back page.

Though Details' Dan Peres insists it's not a gay men's publication, his circulation department might think otherwise. Rumors are swirling that the Conde Nast book purchased the subscriber list of Windows Media's Genre magazine.

Readers of that gay magazine have suddenly found themselves receiving comped issues of Details as well as come-ons to subscribe.

"Something's up with the new Details. Something with the design." — Lowly staffer at a men's magazine, whose informal job description includes keeping tabs on the competition.

[Ed.: We agree, there are changes afoot, but we don't know the proper fancy layout terms needed to describe it.]

Radcliffe has been denied other youthful pleasures too. He has not yet been to a nightclub, again for fear of tabloid exposure:

"All it takes is for me to be seen chatting up a girl for them to, you know, make up some crappy headline about me being a sex rat or whatever they call it."

And does he like performing nude before an audience close enough to smell him?

"I’d be lying if I said I was completely fine,” he says. “I was nervous and I was a little bit worried. But not meaning to drop a name, I talked to Gary Oldman about it, because we get on very well and I know he’s been naked onstage. And so I said to him, ‘What’s it like?’ and he said, ‘On the first night you’ll be terrified and on the second night you’ll be terrified and after that you won’t care.’ And that’s absolutely true. When you’ve done it twice, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

–Daniel Radcliffe (a.k.a. Harry Potter) talks about growing up in the current issue of Details magazine

Dan Peres has signed photog Steven Klein to a year contract to shoot Details' covers, saying "Given the competitive landscape of magazines, they need to be commercial in order to sell. … Steven brings real three-dimensional quality to a cover shot and makes it beautiful, but the real aesthetic will come with the images inside the magazine. I wouldn't imagine you're going to see a thematic change in what our covers are like."

But here's one change you might see: No more "pick up" covers using licensed images.

With April, and—therefore—April magazine covers rapidly approaching, we imagine that many of you (and, natch, Maer Roshan) are asking yourselves, "what will Details do?"

If you answered "feature Justin Timberlake wearing a stiff white-collared shirt, black tie and see-through gray scoop-necked sweater, and an interview where he comes off as a total asshole," then you win the prize!*

Here's one—of several—instances where Justin sounds like a woman with premenstrual dysphoric disorder** after seemingly given a "softball" question about his secret for success:

I could give you a bunch of analogies about why I'm still around that would sound like hippie self-help bullshit. 'I saw an opportunity and I took it?' Fuck you. Sure, there's a lot of luck involved. But on some level I have to believe in my ability. And I'm not apologizing to anyone. I worked fucking hard to get here.

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As they are wont to do, Conde Nast yesterday sent us this unsolicited invitation (above) to stop by Bloomingdale's for an "exclusive" Details shopping event that's going on this evening – with plenty of wine and cheese, we imagined – for something called "The Italian Suit," otherwise known as "an excuse to throw the word 'sale' around during Fashion Week." So eager were we to get to Bloomingdale's (if only to shop for our father's 60th birthday gift), we ran over there yesterday evening.

And, wouldn't you know it, there was an event already in progress. An event called "The Italian Suit." With plenty of wine and cheese. Except this one was sponsored not by Details, but by Hearst's Esquire magazine. Which means two things: 1)
Magazine event coordinators are neither savvy nor original; and 2) To do like Details must mean Esquire is gayer than we suspected.

(And should you consider going, keep this in mind: When the invite says "Invitation only. Space is limited," they actually mean "No need to RSVP — we've got enough cheese to serve even the couple in town from Little Rock who are killing time before Mamma Mia.

• Lance Armstrong, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Matthew McConaughey: gay or cyclists? [Details via TMZ]

• SNL is cutting cast members, but holding auditions for their replacements. [FBNY]

• We hope this was shot right after Paris Hilton was crying over how good her song is. Because the ho looks like shiiiite. [YouTube]

• Is it just us, or has it been Bill Clinton's birthday for, like, two weeks now? [Lowdown]

• Tucker Carlson's stupid "reporting" gig is getting in the way of his Dancing With the Stars rehearsals. [ETP]