Oh Anderson Cooper. Just because you were compared to Paris Hilton before Obama was doesn't mean you should take on her feuds.
Revealing he too is a Living Lohan watcher, Cooper went after Hilton nemesis Lindsay Lohan and her whole clan this week on Regis and Kelly. He described sister Ali, accurately, as someone who "looks to be about 60 … I say that with concern and love. She allegedly wants to be a singer and or actor-slash-performer of some sort, striptease person, I don't know."
But now Momma Bear has her panties in an understandable twist, negligent father Michael is, because he lives for this sort of thing, having his say — but it seems our Silver Fox won't back down until the legitimately famous Lohan member makes a statement. Roll tape! CONTINUED »
Despite the fact that Dina Lohan is an executive producer of Living Lohan, her influence over the editing process can't hide the fact that she is a famewhore first and mother second. During last night's episode, Dina was "surprised" by her son Cody and "forced" to perform at the Pearl in Las Vegas in a totally spur-of-the-moment routine with some So You Think You Can Dance hasbeen. It's all too much, and the sooner this show comes to an end, the better.
Today Lindsay Lohan celebrates her 22nd birthday — a day that, at one point, we were unsure she would live to see. So here’s to you, Linds, and your goal to get your life back on track. Let’s hope 22 treats you better than all of those other years … and if not, then at least we’ll have something to write about.
Lindsay Lohan and her alleged lesbianism have message boards working overtime. Here are two snatches from DataLounge’s impossibly long string of comments:
On last night’s Living Lohan, 14-year-old Ali was “tormented” by some classmates who said she needs to stop trying to be like big sister Lindsay. (Well, they have a point.) Naturally, mother bear Dina was appalled, because apparently she forgot about what’s said in all those tabloids she reads every morning over coffee.
Click through for video of the worst bullying in history (except not).
On last night's episode, an electrical fire leads Dina Lohan to mapping out an emergency escape route. Perhaps Ali will use it to escape her mother. [earlier]
We've tried our damndest to remove The View from our cultrual radar. Enough with Sherri Shepherd reminding America she's functionally retarded. Or Elisabeth Hasselbeck reminding America that she had a baby and loves George Bush. Or Whoopi Goldberg reminding everybody that she can barely stand to be there.
But then producers whipped up this genius segment: In discussing the possibility of booking Dina and Ali Lohan, who want to promote their Living Lohan show, the decision was made that they'd be allowed on the show … only if they were willing to discuss Lindsay. CONTINUED »
More uncomfortable than watching Ali Lohan repeat the talking points about her E! reality show Living Lohan – that the show is an effort to "set the record straight," as her mother insisted on GMA, and that they're just another normal American family, and that "you'll have to watch" to see if Lindsay is on the show – that were drilled into her head?
More awkward than David Letterman calling Ali by her sister Lindsay's name?
More bizarre than seeing her Micro Mini Maltese dog on a table in the green room?
Watching Letterman allude to Lindsay's alleged coat stealing and Ali stumble over it.
As if Dina and Ali Lohan's terrible, must-watch series Living Lohan wasn't putrid enough, you can add "blatant corporate tie ins" to your many reasons to complain about the show while waiting nervously for its premiere.
Living Lohan is being produced by the Maloof brothers, who sometimes dine with Britney Spears, and other times run a multi-billion dollar empire that includes the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas and the Sacramento King basketball team.
And don't think they signed up to work with difficult Dina Lohan just because her dye job looks okay on camera: They're in it for the synergy.
So how will the fame-seeking Lohans work together with the publicity-seeking Maloofs? CONTINUED »
Dina Lohan wants "boundaries with the paparazzi" when she also wants to earn a fee for pimping out her youngest daughter Ali? The scenario is so laughable, it's almost worth tuning in for. But also to see her scream at some gossip outlet – probably a blog! with a phone number! – for some raunchy pictures of daughter Lindsay.
You remember Lindsay, the daughter who for once had the foresight not to put herself in a terrible publicity situation and refused to take part in the show, making Dina's phone calls to her the only way to get her name involved in this charade? CONTINUED »
Ali Lohan "can't sing a a song that I don't believe in." Dina Lohan chimes in with "That can't happen, this is money." Ali Lohan imagines her rise to fame will be quicker than her sister's. Dina Lohan's blonde tresses look voluminous.
And that's all the substance you can expect from Living Lohan. CONTINUED »
Congratulations are in order to Dina Lohan, who was named, ahem, one of the "Top 20 Long Island Mothers of Celebrities" by Mingling Moms, a Long Island-area organization. They're even having a ceremony so she'll have a place to bring her reality TV camera crew when she picks up the award. Other moms being honored? Baldwin brothers matriarch Carol Baldwin, Karate Kid's Ralph Macchio’s mom, Rosalie. And Jennifer Lopez. Guess who's not attending this sham event?
Michael Lohan is back in the news for reopening his divorce case against Mother of the Year Dina. His reasoning? He claims Dina stole his idea for a reality show, name and all: “It’s the exact same show I pitched. She even used my title.” Of course the genius that is Living Lohan came from Michael — it was obviously developed through the power of Jesus.
QUOTES THAT SURPRISE NO ONE "It was very tastefully done,” Dina Lohan says of daughter Lindsay’s Marilyn Monroe shoot. Well first of all, she wasn’t going to say, “My daughter’s looks loose in the spread.” Second of all, it’s Dina Lohan. She thought Lindsay’s stint in rehab was tasteful. [People]
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philippic \fuh-LIP-ik\ noun
: a discourse or declamation full of bitter condemnation : tirade
Dina Lohan probably didn't give her daughter Lindsay too many philippics growing up, and look what happened.
[Photos]
Lindsay Lohan's new squeeze isn't exactly working overtime trying to ingratiate himself to his would-be in-laws. Instead, snowboarder-slash-self-medicater Riley Giles reportedly "dissed" Dina Lohan by avoiding her over Thanksgiving weekend…then slamming her on his MySpace. Sounds like someone isn't thinking long-term… [Mollygood]
• Rihanna gets photographed slinking around with rumored castrato Robin Thicke.
• Pictures of the first meeting between Dina Lohan and Lindsay's new beau are, well, awkward to say the least. Riley looks damn uncomfortable, Lindsay looks preoccupied with the photogs and Dina looks focused on the task at hand: Convincing the waiter to slip a little pinch of champagne into her glass of orange juice.
• Is Amy Winehouse finally getting her life together? (Spoiler: No.)
• Julia Roberts pulls an Ashley Olsen, parks her suburban soccer-mom vehicle in a handicapped spot.
• Nice try, hot tub fornicator Vanessa Minnillo! But that fancy straw boater hat isn't fooling anyone into thinking you're a class-act.
• Kim Porter tries to articulate why she left Diddy but omits a few of his sins. Like, for instance, the time he had a baby with another woman while she was preggers with his twins.
• Stanford to cultivate a younger, hipper look, by shunning the literary canon and teaching a course about Facebook.
• The awkward middle child from Full House is carrying a brand-new fetus around. Even creepier? TMZ is currently showing pictures of her ultrasound.
• Did you shed a tear for Britney Spears? Did you pity her anew? Well, take a gander at her expansive hundred acre estate and remember: she's still much, much richer than you.
The Lohans are settling, the Lohans are settling!
MINEOLA, N.Y. — The estranged parents of troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan could settle their long-simmering divorce as soon as next week, a judge said Friday.
John DiMascio Jr., who represents Michael Lohan, said after an hourlong closed conference involving the couple and their lawyers that "minor points" still preclude a settlement, but he expressed confidence they could be resolved before the next scheduled court date, Aug. 17.
Still to be determined? Who gets full custody of Lindsay Lohan's bank account, and whether or not Dina will be granted visitation rights to her daughters abundant supply of cocaine.
[via IHT]
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