Rosie O'Donnell pranced over to The Today Show to discuss with Meredith Viera her upcoming (and ill-advised) variety show that is scheduled to torment your television sets this week. Naturally, the two former View moderators discussed Rosie's latest feud with Barbara Walters, which is likely not going to end anytime soon seeing as how Ro just can't keep her mouth shut.
So Rosie O'Donnell is getting that NBC variety show, even though it seemed impossible that this woman is still a ratings draw.
Starting next Wednesday, Rosie Live will air at 8 p.m., and is sure to include some fun guests. Not, though, any ladies of The View, who took their turns sharpening their claws against their former coworker today.
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Within minutes of hearing the news that Barack Obama would be the next President of the United States, my mind went to a dark place: "Take that, Elisabeth Hasselbeck!" I couldn't wait to turn on The View this morning and watch the show's resident crazy cry in shame and weep for the state of our nation. Unfortunately, she threw us for a loop and acted like a classy, intelligent human being. Who knew?
Bonus footage includes Sherri Shepherd crying tears of joy in response to last night's election results. It's quite sweet, actually.
Full video after the jump.
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According to Mother Earth Whoopi Goldberg, the blond bitch Hasselbek gets more death threats than anyone else on The View. But they don't all hate her, as the Chicago Sun-Times implied! "Politically we could not be more opposite, but I respect her tremendously. Truth is, we could not have a dialogue without Elizabeth."
Right. Because then someone else on the show would have to become the ridiculous scapegoat, and Sherri Shepherd already wrote it in to her contract that she doesn't want to be "the most dumbest one."
Elisabeth Hasselbeck was invited to introduce Sarah Palin at Florida rallies over the weekend, presumably because the McCain camp knows Lissy is the best attack dog available who still believes the nonsense the right wing has been spewing. This time around she defended Palin's wardrobe, saying it doesn't matter how much money she spends as long as she wears that tiny flag pin, the sign of a good president or vice president. This was an obvious dig at Barack Obama, who is clearly a terrorist who wants to blow up America because he chose not to wear the flag pin. Genius, this lady. The most laughable aspect of this is Elisabeth's hypocrisy, claiming that Democrats refuse to focus on the REAL ISSUES when day after day she sits on The View and spews that Bill Ayers/terrorist agenda.
The View was awesome yet again this morning, thanks partly to Elisabeth waking up on the wrong side of the bed and also because of Whoopi's absence. Poor Barbara Walters had to mediate between Joy and Elisabeth, which was ineffective and led to one of the more intense shouting matches we've seen as of late:
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Amidst rumors that Elisabeth Hasselbeck might be leaving ABC for more Republican-friendly pastures, the lone dissent on The View cleared up any ideas that she'd be moving to Fox. And she did not enjoy Joy Behar's comparison of herself to another hate-fuckable blond conservative:
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Welp, not there was any dount who everyone's most love-to-hate member of The View cast was, but the satirical Onion decided to go one step further by replacing Elisabeth Hasselbeck all together with a giant squid:
According to fans of the show, the squid's most memorable moment thus far occurred last week, when it got a little testy during a discussion on whether teenage girls are getting "too sexy too soon" and squirted 12 gallons of ink onto Sherri Shepherd. The antic was met with laughter and applause from the studio audience.
We could get behind that: the shrill noises on that program would be cut in half if Hasselbeck was replaced by a maritime creature…or a parrot.
Does it strike anyone else as a bit odd that the most spirited political discussion these days is coming for those five overly percolated women on The View? Sure, Bab's show has always been fun to watch, in that "what would Sex and the City be like if they were all old and didn't like each other and not everyone was white" sort of way, but never before this election show actually contained something resembling a serious political discourse that is being as closely monitered in the papes and blogs as, oh say, an Olbermann/Matthews feud.
We're on Day Three of resident Republican and stereotypical blond Elizabeth Hasselbeck's futile promotion of John McCain and the Republican party. Once again, the usually ditzy Sherri Shepherd is on the attack, playing off yesterday's feud, and now she has Joy to back her up again, and threatening to flash everybody.
This is a Joy Behar nation folks, we just live in it:
Sherri Shepherd, bless her heart, reared her slightly empty head today on The View to stand up to resident crazy Elisabeth Hasselbeck. The ladies' Friday show was pretaped, so today they threw in extra chirping about Thursday night's debate. Can you guess who Elisabeth thought did the best job? She tried to convince the other women, which is when Sherri "I haven't thought about whether the earth is flat or round" Shepherd got riled up and spewed some semi-coherent thoughts for the first time in her life. We never thought we'd say this, but: Good for you, Sherri!
This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I watch The View morning after morning in hopes of witnessing something amazing. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the moron who gives Republicans everywhere a bad name, had a minor meltdown during the show's first segment today. She was so beyond help that not even Barbara Walters came to her rescue. The topic, of course, was the idiocy of Sarah Palin, which turned into another session of Elisabeth spouting off nonsensical remarks to defend her beloved McCain/Palin ticket. After Barbara correctly likened Palin's preparation for the debate to a high school student cramming for an exam, Elisabeth became extremely angry, which is when this happened (inciting a round of boos from the audience):
Former prez and frequent misspeaker Bill Clinton appeared on The View yesterday to talk about politics and shiznit. Billary is trying to repair his image after several "testy" interviews with the press; the fact that the politically conscious ladies (including self-proclaimed "fundit" Joy Behar) handed John McCain's ass back to him when the senator appeared on the program probably didn't hurt either, insists Jacques Steinberg.
We say: Billary was just hoping that Barbara would call him "sexy" like she did to Barack, and maybe convince that little Hasselbeck tease to come over and play ball for his team ifyouknowwhatimean.
We have good news and we have bad news. First we'll start with the good: Shrewish conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck is considering leaving her chair at The View round table. The bad news: She's still going to be gracing our television sets.
Picture it, the women on The View are discussing the dreaded n-word. Whoopi Goldberg is explaining why black comedians use it and why they should be allowed to — she’s very frustrated. Elisabeth Hasselbeck doesn’t understand. She starts to cry and seems to make the argument that we can’t move forward in race relations if black entertainers keep using the word. I roll my eyes. Barbara is uncomfortable and interrupts. If you can’t picture it, check out the video after the jump.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck has been interrupting every conversation on The View that's remotely related to childbirth, child rearing, and milk to talk about her own pregnancy.
Now, she's continuing the marathon in the pages of Fitness, but not before she slims down and poses in a bikini for the cover.
Except given that a monthly like Fitness needs to ship two to three months ahead of time, and given that Hasselbeck gave birth six months ago, that either means these photos were snapped : 1) three months ago, which is a J-Lo amount of time to slim down, but still doable; 2) before she got pregnant, misleading readers about the whole possibility of slimming down post-pregnancy; or 3) three months ago, and went through a heavy dose of Photoshopping.
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• Beyonce's skimpy bikini offends the tender sensibilities of conservative Sin City residents.
• Authorities say the massive oil spill was likely caused by human error. When asked for comment, an annoyed Poseidon tersely replied, "Apology not accepted."
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck's newborn baby officially has a name! Next step: Toilet training the kid and teaching him how to memorize political jargon and mindless Republican propaganda.
Merry Miller does something almost (but not quite!) as humiliating than butchering her first-ever live interview with Holly Hunter. She dropped by The View (Yes, totally embarrassing, but that's not the most shameful part) gabbed with the ladies about her television debut, and slid in, ever so casually, that she used to date the founding purveyor of scripted reality television.
[Merry] Miller said yesterday she has a lot in common with Hasselbeck. "She was on 'Survivor,'" Miller said, "and I went out with Mark Burnett."
OMG, total twinsies! Meanwhile, Mark Burnett? Ew! Though you'd have thought dating him would have given Miller a couple venereal diseases useful insights on how to play to the cameras and adhere to a script while still acting completely natural. Apparently, however, you'd have been very, very, hilariously wrong. [via SoupCans]
Yesterday, Sherri Shepherd gave us an uncomfortable mental picture from which we'll never fully recover.
Today, she's back with another one, this time one that it involves us picturing her naked, talking dirty on the phone to her husband.
Note to Sherri: You know you're probably doing something wrong when Joy Behar and frickin' Elisabeth Hasselbeck are looking at you like, "Damn, that bitch crazy." [HuffPo]
A plucky Anderson Cooper ends up in a trash can next to three grouches, two television
has-beens and an ugly green monster. Or, as Elisabeth Hasselbeck calls it, "My life."
Elisabeth Hasselbeck (a.k.a. the dumb, weepy Republican one on The View) weighs in on Rosie's unofficial replacement, Whoopi Goldberg.
"I loved working with Whoopi Goldberg," the pregnant Hasselbeck told PEOPLE at Super Saturday in Watermill, N.Y., during a fundraiser for the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund over the weekend.
"She is soulful, has a world of experience to bring to the table, and I don't sense any sort of political agenda," she added. "She is so funny, but at the same time, she is one of the most thoughtful people that I've met."
Translation: She's not Rosie O'Donnell.
Congratulations, Whoopi. We think you and Elisabeth will get along just fine.
Editorial Director
