In today's edition of "Shit You Shouldn't Believe, Even If It Is On Oprah":

Elizabeth Vargas told Oprah Winfrey that she wasn't forced out as co-anchor of ABC's "World News Tonight," but decided to step down when she became pregnant with her second child.

"I was finding it more and more difficult to do that job the way I wanted to do it, which is 100 percent … and still be a great mother," Vargas, 44, said Tuesday on "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

All of which is Elizabeth Vargas code for "David Westin told me the jig was up, but he had a seat still warm for me at 20/20. And did I mention I was having a second child? Mama needs a paycheck. Any paycheck."

Matt Drudge is puffing his chest large this morning with news that Hearst's Marie Claire has faked a photo! Accompanying an interview with new baby mama and ABC News peddler Elizabeth Vargas in the December issue is this "photo illustration" of Vargas breast feeding at the anchor desk. As a MC talking head notes, "We do not believe anyone seriously thought she would nurse and report the news the same time!" Especially since she's not doing much of that whole "report the news" thing these days.

• Liz Spiers remains to her true blog roots, letting others ferret out the material info after she drops the preliminary scoop. [MWD]

• Brian Williams enlists Tom Brokaw to make sure he's a winner on election night. [AP]

• How Les Goodstein avoided a non-compete clause is anyone's guess. [NYM]

• A non-African wins the NYC Marathon men's competition for the first time in 10 years, while Lance Armstrong proves he's no one-minute-man by beating the 3-hour mark by seconds. [WCBS]

• Elizabeth Vargas returns to ABC, post-maternity leave. Still sniping about World News anchor gig. [TVN]

• A Hachette fire sale to match Time Inc.'s? Cue official denials. [Gawker]

• Russell Crowe doesn't do charity work for movie studios — just as part of his community service requirements. [NYT]

Months after having her second child, and weeks after Charles Gibson pushed her aside to lead World News Tonight on ABC, Elizabeth Vargas is opening up. To People.

Besides raving about her new baby, Samuel Wyatt, talking about how much she adores her family, and prepares to head back to work, Vargas also talks about her struggles at ABC. And when she gets back to work, she will be hosting a special on whether or not working moms can "have it all."

… My first night back we have a major project airing."

The topic is something Vargas knows a thing or two about. "We have decided to address the issue of whether or not working mothers can have it all," she says. "Obviously, I'm exhibit A for: you can't. At least, not if "all" is defined as anchoring World News Tonight."

Obviously. Well, that's nice that ABC is having Vargas to this little special episode. That way all moms around the country can know that they aren't the only ones who feel like failures because the work force doesn't support the demands of balancing parenting and a career.

Elizabeth Vargas Balances Work & Motherhood [People]

What do you know? The other famous "accident" baby was born!

Elizabeth Vargas, who announced to the world that her pregnancy was mistake which cost her her career (maybe if she had some friends, somebody would have told her about the free condoms at Planned Parenthood) gave birth to a baby boy.

Little Samuel Wyatt is safe and sound, despite the fact that his mommy refuses to touch him. And Vargas has been on the phone with Britney Spears all morning, taking tips on how to strap your kid in a car seat so that he might just fly out.

Oh, we kid. We're sure Vargas and her husband Marc Cohn (known only for the song "Walking in Memphis" and as Mr. Vargas) really love their baby. After all, they didn't name him Moses or Ryan Adams.

Baby boy for ABC's Elizabeth Vargas [USA Today]

Poor Elizabeth Vargas. No matter what happens, she will always be the ABC anchor who got pregnant and blew her chance at having her name attached to the World News on ABC. Even conversations of what it's like to be a chick on TV uses Vargas as a warning: get pregs and you might get the evening news boot.

Walters, the workplace warrior who had to be better than any man. Diane Sawyer, fierce but sexy, choosing career over children. Couric, the good girl, the single working mom. Vargas — did she lose the anchor chair because she was pregnant, or was pregnancy a graceful exit in the face of lousy ratings?

And then there’s Vieira. The rebel. The one who very publicly told Don Hewitt what he could do with his grueling “60 Minutes” job 15 years ago, because she was going back home to her kids.

Isn't life so much easier when you can slap convenient labels on people? The only thing is, well, we thought Vargas' label was "cold-hearted bitch." We now realize it was "pregnant cold-hearted bitch."

Her Morning Shift [Lisa Belken, New York Times]

It was just one year ago that ABC news anchor and central television news figure Peter Jennings passed away of lung cancer. No, this is not just a reminder that you should quit smoking, it is also a reminder of how the media honored his memory.

There was of course the announcement of his death, the naming of W. 66th St. "Peter Jennings Way," and ABC stripping his name from their newscast.

What was once World Tonight With Peter Jennings was quickly renamed World News Tonight and then recently dubbed World News With Charles Gibson.

Wait, wasn't there someone in between there? Hmm? We just can't wait to see how ABC remembers Elizabeth Vargas.

Remembering Peter Jennings One Year Later [TV Newser, Mediabistro]

Amidst the absurd deconstruction of Katie Couric's wardrobe on the Today show versus her wardrobe as the CBS evening news anchor (conclusion: she's wearing the same black suit on both shows), Wall Street Journal readers catch a glimpse of the catty remarks that are absolutely necessary to print whenever discussing women in media.

CBS wanted Katie Couric because she's, like, your BFF. Not like that bitchy Elizabeth Vargas who remains serious and withdrawn while reporting the evening news.

"CBS was so eager to get Katie in part because viewers say, 'We think we know her,' in contrast to [Elizabeth] Vargas, who came off icy and not like somebody we would want to go next door and have coffee with," says Judy Muller, a retired ABC News reporter who teaches journalism at the University of Southern California.

We can't imagine where in the world Vargas would have possibly gotten the idea that it was important to keep the chipper, friendly moments at bay. It's almost insane that she wasn't, like, more chatty and girlfriend-y — considering how welcomed and encouraged that attitude has been for female evening news anchors in the past.

Couric Hits the 'Muted' Button [Vanessa O'Connell, Wall Street Journal]
Related: Connie on Katie and ‘Gravitas’: ‘It’s a Chauvinistic Word’ [Rebecca Dana, New York Observer]

Despite the outcry from feminist groups like the National Organization for Women, Elizabeth Vargas insists that she was not "pushed out" from ABC and World New Tonight due to her expanding family.

Vargas has even gone so far to say that she has plans to return to TV just as soon as she can sell a few pictures of her baby for charity.

Still, Vargas wants another shot at anchoring a five-days-a-week show (even mornings) for ABC in about five years, when her kids are older. If not her own shop, then… .

"I've been told by other networks, if it doesn't work out here, there will be opportunities elsewhere… . Those kinds of conversations take place all the time. It's a very small business. We all know each other."

We wonder what five-days-a-week morning show on ABC she could possibly be eyeing? Just don't be surprised if Diane Sawyer accidentally gets pushed off a podium in about five years.

Vargas avows the move was her choice [Gail Shifter, Philadelphia Inquirer]

The National Organization for Women, along with other leading women's organization, ain't having this Elizabeth Vargas bullshit.

Vargas and ABC claim her depature from the World News Tonight anchor chair was brought upon by her pregnancy and secured by their want to offer viewers routine; by putting Charlie Gibson in the chair permanently, Vargas returning and recovering Bob Woodruff's iffy status wouldn't confuse newswatchers.

Or, as NOW, the Feminist Majority Foundation, and the National Council of Women's Organizations believe, Vargas was unceremoniously ousted from the top spot for being in possession of XX chromosomes. And she may very well have been, as the chattering classes suspect. But given Katie Couric's ascension to the CBS news throne, it's going to be hard to hear their argument over the roars of skepticism in September.

Was Elizabeth Vargas' departure really voluntary? [Broadsheet]

• Get your baby blue baby gifts ready to ship over to ABC. Elizabeth Vargas is having a boy. [NYP]

• In 2016, we won’t have jobs … which we already knew. Obviously, we'll be retired in Maui by then. [Fast Company]

• And then there are the bloggers who sidestep the dissipation of the profession by getting fired. [AAN]

• $3 million in FCC fines for boobs and orgies. Interesting, that’s how much Colin Farrell’s sex tape is going for. [Media Week]

• ASME shmasmes. Hey, newspapers get awards, too. [NYT]

• Congrats to Elizabeth Mayhew, who was just put in charge of all the “non magazine stuff” at Real Simple. Sounds … boring. [Mediaweek]

• Some people blog obsessively about Jann Wenner, others chronicle life after Sklar at Fishbowl. [Big & Sharp]

• We wonder what's more difficult: picking photos for your MySpace profile or picking Oscar snaps for Us Weekly? [PDN]

• We didn't think there was a limit to the heights of arrogance New York Times journos could reach. [Fishbowl NY]

• If you get pregnant, or blown up, ABC will give your job to Diane Sawyer, and give you her old, crappy one. [TV Newser]

You know you had a great life when New York City names a street after you. Now, W. 66th St. is called Peter Jennings Way, in memoriam of our trusted nightly newscaster Peter Jennings.

The inauguration ceremony was yesterday, and Jennings family and co-workers made an appearance. Elizabeth Vargas showed, along with Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson. Vargas felt that the street naming was fitting.

"It's a wonderful public way to tip our hats," said Vargas, as she waited for the ceremony to begin. "This is the way we enter every day and [the way] Peter entered for 23 years."

We guess it is is a good ting they went this route, instead of the proposed "Peter Jennings Newsstand," complete with Marlboro Reds and plenty copies of Newsweek. That speech would have been awkward.

ABC News Location Named Peter Jennings Way [ABC News]

You know when there is somebody who has a couple kids, and then "oops!" along comes little Timmy about 9 years later? That's pretty much how it happened for Elizabeth Vargas.

We imagine that explaining the mistake that is her child will go something along the lines of, "Just when mommy landed her dream career, and everything in life seemed to be moving ahead, daddy fucked with the birth control pills, and, unfortunately, the result was you."

Hey, we're not being harsh here. Vargas is the one who decided to tell the Philadelphia Inquirer that her pregnancy was huge, unexpected, surprising accident.

"This was about as unplanned as it gets," says Vargas, coanchor of ABC World News Tonight. "I was shocked. I had just signed on to a brand-new job that I was thrilled to have… . Also, at 431/2, it's not like I was thinking, 'Let's get pregnant.' "

Yeah. Well, Vargas, we think you'll be a great mom, even if you didn't really want this one. Just don't start drinking 30 ounces of coffee a day or let the kid drive a car.

Vargas 'shocked' at pregnancy [Gail Shister, Philadelphia Inquirer]

From the USA Today website:

How great that Elizabeth Vargas' baby is inspiring progressive recovery for Bob Woodruff and Doug Vogt. Unlike Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's baby, who is just increasing the death rate of late-season deer.

Welcome news at ABC: Vargas is pregnant [USA Today Blog]
Earlier: The numbers are bad, the numbers are bad!

Damn, looks like "tawonda" got the leg up on us all! She's the last Bob Woodruff well wisher to get a word in before David Westin & Co. locked us all out.

World News Tonight Forum [ABCNews.com]

Given Alessandra Stanley's recent (and historical) ability to deliver egregious factual errors in any body of copy, we were a little concerned when we spotted her byline accompanying an item about something so serious as Bob Woodruff's attack in Iraq. So, the investigative journalists that we are, we decided to go through her piece with a fine-toothed comb. And we mean fine-toothed, folks. This comb has got tiny ass bristles. Like, skinnier than Nicole Richie's calves.

So begins Stanley:

Bob Woodruff was in Baghdad for ABC reporting the good news that the Bush administration complains is ignored by the news media, and he ended up as a glaring illustration of the bad news.
So far, so good, 'Sandra.

Mr. Woodruff, the newly named co-anchor of "World News Tonight," spent Friday chatting with friendly Iraqis on the street and slurped ice cream at a popular Baghdad shop to show how some in Iraq are seeking a semblance of normalcy.
Sure, we've got no way of independently verifying that Woodruff "slurps" his ice cream rather than bites into it with his front teeth, but given Iraq's heat index, we imagine that's how a news anchor might eat his ice cream. So, check.

Yesterday he and an ABC cameraman, Doug Vogt, were badly wounded while traveling in a routine convoy with Iraqi military forces who are being trained to impose that normalcy and allow American troops to go home.

What happened to Mr. Woodruff and Mr. Vogt was one of those chilling television moments that mark a milestone. This conflict has shown all too clearly that soldiers, civilians, aid workers and journalists are all targets.
Normally facts reported elsewhere and repeated verbatim would be an opportunity for Stanely to slip up — but she's wow-ing us here. Wow-ow-ow-ing.

Soldiers, American and Iraqi, are wounded and killed by roadside bombs and ambushes every day in tragedies so common they float to the back pages. But until now, at least, network anchors always seemed to sail through hot spots with an inalienable aura of invulnerability, like senators or movie stars.

Mr. Woodruff's plight underscored at a whole new level that Americans there feel like sitting ducks, picked off by a faceless enemy.
We're a little wary here. "Every day?" Surely there was a 24 hour period when neither an American or Iraqi soldier was injured or killed. Well .. Hah! Who are we kidding? The way George Bush is running things over there, we're surprised when 60 minutes go by without incident. Way to go, Ales-es-es-es-es-sandra. Another gold star.

The attack, which led all the network evening newscasts, was obviously a blow for ABC, which only last month appointed Mr. Woodruff and Elizabeth Vargas as a team to replace the late Peter Jennings, packaging the duo as pioneers of a new, more light-footed style of evening news show. Last night, Ms. Vargas did the anchor duties alone in a dark pinstriped jacket, gravely interviewing other ABC correspondents about the escalating danger of roadside bombs.
We'll give Stanley the benefit of the doubt here: Yes, we believe she watched Sunday night's broadcast, even if she did file her copy so shortly after it wrapped.

One reason networks, and ABC in particular, have been loath to appoint a single female anchor is that many news executives believe that in an emergency, viewers prefer a comforting fatherly presence. In this case, ABC's chosen authority figure was hurt in a crisis, and the distressing news was delivered by a female anchor chosen more for her on-air grace than her experience or gravitas.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Now that's what we were looking for: a reason for the Times to issue one of its many Alessandra Stanley Brand corrections.

Vargas was hired more for her grace than her "experience or gravitas?"

You know Tuesday's paper is going to carry the following: "An article on Monday that described ABC World News Tonight co-anchor Elizabeth Vargas' hiring misrepresented her qualifications. She was identified as having grace, while she was actually hired because, when sat next to dreamboat Bob Woodruff, viewers want to fuck the news."

Thanks for playing along at home!

A Bomb Detonates, and an Anchorman Tells a Story of the War by Becoming the Story [Alessandra Stanely, NYT]
Earlier: Forget Woodruff's health. What about ABC's ratings?
Earlier: Bob Woodruff & Doug Vogt 'stable' after Iraq assault
Related: All Bob Woodruff coverage

Glad to know we aren't the only ones considering how Bob Woodruff's life-threatening injuries might affect ABC's ratings. It took the New York Times' Richard Oppel and Jacques Steinberg just four graphs to get there.

For years now, "World News Tonight" has been lagging in the ratings, and ABC has much money and prestige riding on its new co-anchor format, which was intended to stand out from its competitors by having Mr. Woodruff and his partner, Elizabeth Vargas, take turns reporting from the field while the other stays in New York.

Shrapnel, schmrapnel.

ABC News Anchor Is Badly Injured by Bomb in Iraq [Richard Oppel & Jacques Steinberg, NYT]

Earlier: Bob Woodruff & Doug Vogt 'stable' after Iraq assault
Related: All Bob Woodruff coverage

By now, you've certainly heard the horrible news: Newly inducted World News Tonight anchor and long term ABC heavyweight Bob Woodruff and cameraman Doug Vogt were severly injured when their military convoy was hit with an IED attack on Sunday just north of Baghdad.

First, the good news: they're alive. More so, it looks like the shrapnel that sliced through their body armor – and into their heads – did not pierce their brains. After the loss of Peter Jennings, the entire ABC family and everyone in the industry is doubly feeling this tragedy. Even us sarcastic and usually morally reprehensible folks at Jossip are saddened by the news.

While fellow news media have been feeding on the story, ABC president David Westin has been keeping his Disney-owned minions informed. Jossip has obtained the emails he's been sending out to staff since top brass first learned of Woddruff and Vogt's conditions.

The first email was sent First, when the attack first took place.

8:05 am
Bob Woodruff and his cameraman, Doug Vogt, were injured in an IED attack near Taji, Iraq today. They were embedded with the 4th Infantry Division, traveling with an Iraqi Army unit in an Iraqi mechanized vehicle. Bob and Doug are in serious condition and are being treated at a U.S. military hospital in Iraq. At this point, we don't know much more than this. We'll keep you posted as we learn more. I know that all of us will keep Bob, Doug, and their families in our thoughts and prayers.

Then two hours later, came a short update:

10:03am
Our best information as of now is that Bob and Doug are in surgery at Balad Air Force Base north of Baghdad. We will let you know as we get more information concerning their status.

Westin popped in again, in the afternoon:

13:08
We have learned from the U.S. military and from our producer on the scene that Bob and Doug are out of surgery and are both in stable condition. We take this as good news, but the next few days will be critical. The military plans to evacuate them to their medical facilities in Landstuhl, probably overnight tonight.

It's been standard procedure for journalists injured in Iraq to be immediately treated at a U.S. military medical facility before being transferred to Landstuhl, Germany, once the victim is stable enough for transport. And that's exactly what's happening with Woodruff and Vogt — while Woodruff's newly minted co-anchor Elizabeth Vargas was wrapping Sunday night's program.

Certainly, our main concern is with the health of Woodruff and Vogt. But the media world, and those couple million people still tuning into World News Tonight (but not enough to ump it out of fourth place), want to know: What's David Westin going to do about World News Tonight?

The heavily touted dual anchor format that was supposed to buoy ABC's news program out of last place suddenly looks as fragile as ever. Will Charlie Gibson – who refused to join the multi-anchor format because he wanted a 3-year, not a 2-year, deal – be asked to fill in for the interim? Will Vargas assume sole responsibilities, becoming the single female-only anchored network news program on the air? If Woodruff is out of commission for the foreseeable future, will his future as co-anchor be jeopardized if the "Vargas only" format proves to be a ratings winner? And, uh, were the cameras rolling when this went down?

We'll let you know what secrets continue to pour out of David Westin's email outbox. In the meantime, catch him and (a very exhausted) Vargas on this morning's Good Morning America.

• Conde Nast's chomp down of Fairchild sent Mary Burner running before she was swallowed whole. [Ad Age]

• At last, news about an editor! Larry Hackette fills Martha Nelson's role as managing editor at People. [WWD]

• Small news: the president of Nickelodeon quits. Big news: where the hell is Jon-Jon? [Market Watch]

• Elizabeth Vargas was a little nervous before popping her prime time cherry. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

• Our head is spinning with all this Mort Zuckerman nonsense. We have pregnancy tests and law suits to think about people! We'll let mediabistro take care of this one, ok? [Fishbowl NY]

• Arianna Huffington tells Anderson Cooper to suck it up and stop acting like a little bitch. [HuffPo]