"Is your child slightly chubby and sexually ambiguous?" asks Mollygood. "Then Elle Girl has a wonderful idea for a Halloween costume!"
How? It's easy!
Simply buy the kid a garish blue wig, a Tealuxe coffee cup and a pair of too-tight pants, a giant felt-tipped marker for making astute social commentary, give him a brief tutorial in copyright law and how not to abide by it, and then mock said child relentlessly until he/she overcompensates (for the years of fat jokes and social pariahdom) by slinging unfiltered verbal abuse at celebrities, in effect rejecting them before they can—and inevitably will—reject him first.
Oh, and parents—don't forget the trick-or-treat bucket that's shaped like a laptop! (Portable soul extraction kit sold separately). [ElleGirl]
Remember when Conde Nast secretly launched Lipstick.com? Yeah, well, we haven't really checked the site since we broke that news … but, we still remember that Conde is pushing forward with their Internet expansion. Their next project? Flip, an online haven for teenie boppers with dreams of being the next Paris Hilton. (Well, actually it's tentatively, secretly, called Flip, but there's a chance Conde will flop on the moniker.)
With Teen People and Elle Girl moving to a new place online, and Atoosa Rubenstein ruling as the queen of MySpace, CondeNet will have plenty of glaring peers to give them nasty looks in the hallway and spread rumors about them.
The only difference is, Flip's readers will be "business minded" bitches, instead of indy rocker chicks or celeb junkies.
CondeNet, the division developing Flip, declined to comment, but the plans reveal a strategy encompassing not just teen girls' social world, but their inner creative worlds and outer sources of inspiration.
The materials indicate the site is aimed at business-minded teens, citing a survey that found 53% of teens want to be celebrities; 54% want to "go into business or sell something"; and 37% would like to be a fashion designer. (Even better, apparently: "A mere 15% want to be in politics or activism.")
Which should really help when it comes to Conde Nast using Flip to recruit the next crop of Teen Vogue interns.
Sneak Peek Into Conde Site Flip That Turns Teens Into Executives [Nat Ives, Ad Age]
And another one bites the dust.
The latest mag to pulled from newsstands (well, most newsstands except for "high traffic areas") is Child. Meredith's long running attempt at mother baby advice, photos, and baby food recipes will take the road now most frequently traveled through the Internet.
But in a new sign that steep hills remain to climb, or quit, Meredith Corp. has decided to stop even trying to sell Child on the racks, ceding that territory to books like its own Parents and American Baby as well as competitors such as Parenting from Time Inc., Cookie from Conde Nast Publishing and Wondertime from Disney Publishing.
Ah, sigh. Well, on the bright site, when you publish online you can work from home … which should be good news to Child staffers, who are notorious for creating the most miserable office environment in the magazine industry. We've heard so often that it's even worse than the land ruled by a Prada wearing devil.
And you know what they say about children in unstable environments: sometimes putting an end to the misery is really what's best for the kid.
Reality Check: Meredith Yanks Its 'Child' Off the Newsstands [Nat Ives, Ad Age]
Because teenage girls today have trouble reading things in print, Conde Nast is launching a website just for them. Why do you care? Because in this attempt at reaching the new media saturated teen audience, the Condes are letting these girls go wild, and create the site's content themselves.
Huh?
You heard right. Every 12-16 year old who has ever dreamt of being in a sorority and marrying a guy who summers in the Hamptons can now participate in this new wave of "user-generated content." The site (name TK, but we like "teen.style.com") will be sort of like a MySpace meets You Tube for underage consumers.
For now, it seems like their biggest competition will be Hachette Filipacchi's online version of Elle Girl, which, um, blows.
An insider says newsstand sales weren't strong enough to make the business work — and teen magazines have to refresh entire subscriber rolls every two or three years, an expensive and dicey proposition for an age group growing comfortable forgoing print altogether.
But then again, one would hope that EG editors could somehow come up with more interesting content than an 8th grader.
Smells Like Teen Progress [Jon Fine, Business Week]
• "Good" and "bad" are not descriptive enough words for reviews of books. (We would add "or reviews of book reviewers" to that concept.) [Slate]
• Choire Sicha says he had no idea what he was supposed to be doing as the editor of Gawker. But, as an editor at the Observer, he is definitely supposed to call publicists stupid. [PR Week]
• Only James Wolcott could fall in love with the checkout line at Barnes & Noble. [VF]
• Diane Sawyer should probably just end it now, before they make her a host on CNN. [Sun]
• There is no such thing as much too much Bonnie Fuller gossip. We thought we'd offer you the option of splurging with a third helping today. [Variety]
• Please, people. There is a very good reason why Elle Girl had to die: its audience grew up. [Ad Age]
• Always beware of a guy in a fedora who threatens to bite off your boob, pee in your soup, and thinks that Page Six is the mafia.
• And magazines who lie to you about being able to see Eva Longoria from space.
• Maybe if you're lucky, Si Newhouse will buy you an apartment. But, if you suck at running a magazine, you'll probably only get a one bedroom apartment.
• Elle Girl's life gets taken before she even has a chance to become a woman. But, she will live on like the real ladies — on the internet.
• From inside AMI, the real story of Celebrity Living's demise. Even Bonnie Fuller stopped by to shake hands.
• And for once, the only magazine that nobody cares about, with the most stalked about celebrity of the month.
• Elizabeth Spiers makes us feel special. [Fishbowl]
• The Time Inc. flee before fire parade begins, with Elizabeth Mayhew of Real Simple leading the pack. [Mediaweek]
• Ashton Kutcher thinks adoption is “the new thing,†but Demi Moore’s little Ashton spawn would be the “hot thing.†[Sky]
• New York Times reporters may be smart, but they're scared of tape recorders, bloggers, and, well, people in general. [Buzz Machine]
• There is life after death for Elle Girl staffers. [Fishbowl]
• Jessica Alba is not a gold-digger. She totally checked the "no" box on Hugh Hefner's "will you sue me?" note. [ET]
• The minds behind the Gawker Stalker craze get a shout out from their beloved Perez. [Perez Hilton]
We tried to go to Women's Wear Daily for our promised recap of Elle Girl's demise, but unfortunately the article was in the "subscriber" section. Boo. So, we had to go to Nat Ives for the follow-up. Sigh.
Well, as it turns out, Elle Girl the magazine is shutting down, but the "brand" will keep chugging along as a web publication.
"After running this magazine for the past five years and continually doing research on the teen market, Jack is totally redefining the strategy," said Anne L. Janas, a Hachette spokeswoman. "The print magazine is closing down but there will be increased investment online and in wireless. He believes that's where he needs to direct the primary investment of the company."
We will really miss the fun glossy, though. Especially the masthead, where assistant editors and art directors plugged their fave movies, heartthrobs, and lip glosses.
It is our sincere hope that gals will take a break from sticking their asses out on their MySpace profiles to check out EG's site.
'ELLE GIRL' SHUTS PRINT EDITION, MOVES TO WEB ONLY [Nat Ives, Ad Age]
Editorial Director
