After surprising herself (and her mother!) by winning the Emmy for her dead on portrayal of emotionally unstable pretty-girl Izzie Stephens, Katherine Heigl admits what we already suspected: She, like, Izzie, is neurotic to the point of being slightly nutso. Case in point:
Heigl admits to being conscious of her looks to the point of her always wearing full makeup in public – "I do not want to be the 'Look What This Celebrity Looks Like Without Makeup' picture," she says.
Big mistake, Katherine.
While we've already voiced our distaste for this year's Emmys, we wanted to make sure you were aware the rest of America was in agreement: Last night's broadcast captured just 13.1 million viewers, giving it the superlative of "second lowest rated Emmy broadcast ever." Why are networks still stupid enough to keep bidding for these award shows?
It's no secret that the Emmy's really aren't our thing.
And since we've already listed our grievances and petitioned the organizers to add a few new categories to the awards show itself (i.e. "Biggest Overactor" "Campiest Dialogue" and, of course, an obligatory "I Think My Water Just Broke" montage) we figured it was also our self-appointed duty to come up with a few categories/awards that we'd like to see in next year's post-Emmy's coverage.
And with that in mind, we proudly present our compilation of the "Even More Superfluous Than The Emmy's Themselves" awards.
Our somewhat imaginative musings, after the jump.
Wishing to avoid the fate of CBS and Janet Jackson’s nipple, last night Fox cut off Ray Romano and Katherine Heigl as they used four-letter remarks during the Emmys.
And in an effort to be extra careful, Fox also silenced a rambling Sally Field as she said "If the mothers ruled the world, there would be no goddamn wars in the first place."
Goddamn is out, but apparently a show called Hell Kitchen is fine.
You know, sometimes when we're rolling around the jungle and the mud, and we're hitting each other, and stabbing each other, and shooting each other and pouring on the blood and turning on the sprinklers, I wonder what it would be like to bake up a sheet of cookies on Wisteria Lane. And get one of their checks.
–Emmy winner Terry O'Quinn of Lost, referring to fellow ABC show Desperate Housewives [CBS]
The Emmy's are coming, the Emmy's are coming! It's the award show we love to hate. And by "hate" we mean "not watch," generally because it's hopelessly boring.
This time, however, in a transparent attempt to boost ratings, the Emmy's are providing a stage for both Kanye West and Britney Spears, who both have everything to do with television awards in that they've occasionally been on television, promoting their new (and non-existent) albums. Didn't we go through enough torture last Sunday? Apparently not!
Which is why we've asked Intern Whitney to compile a list of the Top Eight Things We Hate The Very Most About The Emmy's.The fruits of her labor, after the jump.
Fox has an interesting strategy to make the Emmys socially relevant: Have someone who has just lost hers appear on the show.
USWeekly.com reports that Fox is trying to get Britney on the show on Sunday to apologize for her performance last week at the VMAs.
The speech will go something like, "Sorry I suck!"
Kathy Griffin is no Dick in a Box, but she did win an Emmy this weekend for outstanding reality program. Her acceptance speech left some tact to be desired:
A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. So, all I can say is, 'Suck it, Jesus.' This award is my God now.
E! will censor the speech when they broadcast the awards on Saturday. The Catholic League is outraged that Jesus wasn’t given credit for the success of My Life on the D-List.
Just as an aside, how exactly did Kathy Griffin turn a supporting role on Suddenly Susan into an entire career?
With the 59th Annual Primetime Awards less than a month away, Fox finally (and somewhat begrudgingly) names the ubiquitous Ryan Seacrest as its host.
Which is strange because typically, as you may know, the Emmy's tend to be hosted by someone who's (a) funny, and (b) named well in advance, thereby giving the network sufficient time to adequately shove said host-to-be's name down our throats and generally over-promote the notoriously boring and self-congratulatory snoozefest.
After "wooing" Joan and Melissa Rivers away from E!, the TV Guide Channel has up and replaced the red carpet mavens with Lisa Rinna, who you probably know from some daytime soap or, more likely, Dancing With the Stars. (Us? We know her from her SoapNet talk show. Eww, right?)
Rinna's first battle with celebrity publicists will be September's Primetime Emmy Awards, where her lips will face off against E!'s Ryan Seacrest.
Congratulations to CBS News, CNN, NBC News, and ABC's Nightline, all of whom took home a pair of Emmy Awards for Business & Financial Reporting. Which includes just about everyone – except CNBC – who could be up for a Business & Financial Reporting Emmy. So really, they all won by default. So again, congratulations to the lowest common denominators.
That was a clever little Emmy intro Conan O'Brien had last night, huh? Incorporating Emmy embarrassment Lost, popping in on The Office, interrupting a 24 call, having Hugh Laurie resurrect his House role before the fall season kicks off, showing up with Tom Cruise for an animated South Park snippet, and popping in on Chris Hansen's To Catch a Predator child porn kitchen — all very creative and amusing stuff. Of course the entire plot sequence kicked off with his flight to L.A. going down, which would've been a wildly entertaining lead in to this flat Mel Gibson joke, if it weren't for this bit of breaking news yesterday:
49 Die in Kentucky Crash as Jet Takes Off From Wrong Runway [Ian Urbina and Amanda Van Benschoten, NYT]
That any television news staffer can add her name to the list of Emmy recipients and snag an additional statue for $350, or that five Emmys for a TV news vet isn't impressive, or that CBS News president Andrew Heyward doesn't know off the cuff how many Emmys he's got isn't the lure of today's Observer item by Rebecca Dana. It's the closing tidbit about how the New York Times treated its Emmy for the 90 minute documentary Bioterror:
"I came to congratulate them, and Arthur Sulzberger asked me if we could get the statue delivered as quickly as possible,†[Academy Awards president Peter] Price said, “so they could display it in the corridor with their Pulitzers.â€
Win a Lovely Winged Lady! Emmys Are $350 Scammies [Rebecca Dana, NYO]
• Unless Kelly Clarkson loses some bloat, there won't be any Vitamin Water sponsorship for her. [Page Six]
• Hillary Clinton won't be helping Vanity Fair's Gail Sheehy for her pre-election piece. And neither will Clinton's associates. [Lowdown]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes pop up in SoHo to shop. No baby in sight, as per usual. [Page Six]
• Speaking of The Cruise, his unauthorized South Park episode is up for an Emmy. [Queerty]
• Welcome to the world, Tennyson Spencer Crowe, the son of Hollywood's least capable anger manager. [People]
• Michael Jackson is shocked – shocked! – to learn a former business associate was involved in gay porn. That didn't keep Jacko from watching a tape of said associate directing an adult gay flick. [NYDN]
• Today's Lowdown shoots down our earlier report that Jay-Z and Beyonce had wed in Martha's Vineyard over the weekend. A Def Jam spokeswoman confirms they were there but insists they didn't wed — and refuses to comment on whether a wedding was planned for the weekend. [Lowdown]
• Something about the Emmys being announced? [Emmy.org]
• What you missed on Larry King because of those damn North Korean missiles bumped the interview: Part of Kathy Griffin's unhappy marriage to Matthew Moline was his stealing $72k from her bank accounts. [Page Six]
• If Nicky Hilton's pregnant, that's not stopping her from working the stripper pole. [R&M]
• In between exposing Chad Lowe's substance abuse problem, Hilary Swank also calls him a piss poor actor. [People]
• J. Lo: Voodoo vixen. [R&M]
• For Rush Limbaugh, having a bottle of Viagra isn't illegal. It's just embarrassing. [ABC News]
While the Pulitzers continue to snub us online folks, the Emmys are welcoming us with arms so wide they'd fit around Mario Batali. The National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences is offering a brand new award this year: Outstanding Achievement in Content for Non-Traditional Delivery Platforms.
Once you get through that Eliza Lipsky-Karasz-sized title, here's what they mean: an award for content produced exclusively for cell phones, iPods, Blackberrys and whatever techno-addict devices Engadget gets their prying eyes on.
The key word here, however, is "exclusive," so just because you can download last night's episode of Desperate Housewives to your iPod doesn't mean Marc Cherry could be nominated for another frickin' Emmy. But those clever folks licensing the name of Fox's 24 for a series of one-minute clips? Yeah, they just might.
Now, we all know the Academy is simply introducing the award in hopes that bloggers (and vloggers) will be sucked into some thinly veiled viral marketing gimmick, but c'mon – it's about time Rocketboom.com got recognized for something other than Amanda Congdon's tits.
New media will get Emmy of their own [Matea Gold, LAT]
Related: Blogs, and Salon, still not taken seriously
Ever since Joan Rivers jumped from E! to the TV Guide Channel, the entertainment network has been filling in its red carpet category with the every charitable Star Jones. Also ever since Rivers jumped ship, E!'s red carpet coverage has sucked. A lot. Even with Kathy Griffin.
But this past Emmy season will be Star's last year convincing a designer to expand his usual fittings, with E! choosing not to pick up the option on her contract. For some reason they just weren't fond of her pimping her wedding last year and begging stars to come on The View this year.
Ever the PR spinner, Star says it was her choice not to resign because she's just too busy promoting her book that comes out in January and appearing alongside Barbara Walters and Joy Behar.
The option in her contract for another year was not picked up. "One year was enough," our insider said.
Speaking of one year, we're also coming up on Star's one year anniversary to Al Reynolds this November. And, well, one year was enough.
• Rupert Murdoch has finally filled son Lachlan's void since his departure last month, signing Paul Carlucci to be publisher of the New York Post, which means Rupert himself can finally ditch the title.
• With 18.5 million viewers, Sunday night's Emmys scored the biggest audience in three years — and Eva Longoria didn't even wear a swimsuit on stage.
• CNBC chair Pamela Thomas-Graham is skirting her "promotion" to become a senior exec at Liz Claiborne, returning her to at least the make up portion of television's day-to-day.
• This weekend's New Yorker festival will be accompanied by a DVD featuring all 80 years of the magazine, which might just prove wrong our theory that there can never be enough David Remnick.
• Esquire will start wasting one of its pages on women's mags, scanning the other half's titles for stories that men might want to take a peak at. Though the new feature won't run every month, nor will it always be about women's mags — thought it will connect with other Hearst titles.
• Geez, are people really still talking about the all-Target New Yorker issue?
As part of her charitable efforts, Star Jones is donating her $3000 Marc Bauer velvet dress she wore to the Emmy red carpet. Now stop making those jokes about her size or the number of people who could fit the dress — girl is looking svelte!
But we just can't lallygag along as she spits blatant lies.
"There is no better way to allow your clothes to keep on giving you pleasure than to share them with someone else," Jones said.
Because with the wearable Audi-Oh vibrator, which can "keep on giving you pleasure" if you just replace the batteries.
• Teri Hatcher's supersized ego got the best of her Sunday night as she refused to snap pics with Best Comedic Actress winner Felicity Huffman and her other Desperate co-stars.
• Looks like Anna Wintour will be renewing her library card after all. While The Devil Wears Prada is shooting all over NYC, it won't be shooting at the Fifth Avenue Public Library
• We always knew gay porn kingpin Michael Lucas was a bit of a tramp (though he looks good doing it), but a Fashion Week whore? Well of course, but we didn't need Page Six to tell us — he's got his own blog for that.
• Following the great tradition of "you mess up your life, you get a reality show", Tom Sizemore is shopping a program (from rehab) called Super Sizemore. Though we doubt Heidi Fleiss will be tuning in.
• Jamie Lynn Discala is falling into the breakup trap of rebounding with a nightlife king. As word spreads of her breakup from husband-slash-manager A.J. Discala, The Sopranos star is being linked to club promoter Keith Collins.
• Despite your misgivings, Paris Hilton might actually be a charitable person. Or at least her grandfather's foundation is, which she may or may not be tied to.
• Vince Vaughn wasn't just taken by Jennifer Aniston while he shot The Break Up, but he also fell in love with Chicago. He's sold his $4 million Los Feliz home for a Chicago pad.
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