That nipples — or is it mere areola? — are, much like actual genitalia, one of the defining lines between "acceptable" and "OMG NUDITY HIDE YOUR CHILDREN!!!" is something Americans learn at an early age. This explains why print advertisements around New York for the Brazlian rum Cabana Cachaça go without nipples, while advertisements for newspapers in Europe include full breasts. (Okay, not always; NSWF.) On television, nipples are an even bigger affront to civility, which explains why the Eva Mendes spot for Calvin Klein's new fragrance Secret Obsession was banned from U.S. airwaves in a convenient publicity-driving announcement. The scent's print spots, too, do not show nip.

But why, in an age where music acts and television shows can be named "Pussycat Dolls," are we still afraid of nipples?

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Eva Mendes 1, ‘Interview’ Reporter 0Recent rehab graduate Eva Mendes spoke to Interview magazine about substance abuse, but she wasn’t having any of the interviewer’s hilarious jokes. In response to the reporter saying, “They’re going to have to change the name of it to ‘Alcoholics Unanimous,’” Eva provided nothing but silence (and probably a death stare).

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• Nicole Kidman has totally supported her relapsing/philandering husband Keith Urban and stuck by him through his alleged extramarital dalliances and reported coke binges. Which isn't to say it's been easy. Says Kidman, "They say the first year of marriage is the hardest. Please, God!"

• Of all the guys in the world, Lindsay Lohan has decided to date the only person in the world who Paris Hilton truly loves, besides herself.

• Eva Mendes takes a stand against fur by reminding everyone she looks much better naked than you do.

• Keira Knightley poses topless on the cover of next month's Interview magazine. Which is to say she stares coquettishly at the camera while covering up her tiny nipples with a thin, 1-inch wide suspender strap.

• Note to Amy Winehouse: It is, in fact, possible to use drugs recreationally without leaving the house shirtless, deranged or with cocaine still dripping from your nose. Just so you know.

• Attention groupies: As thrilling as the prospect of demeaning drug-induced sex with a washed-up rock star is, you may want to watch out for those musicians who warn, "I remember spending most of my days off in and out of a variety of VD clinics."

• Awww…Kim Kardashian's younger sis wants to grow up to be just like her!

• Remember when ads used to cut through all the bullshit and say exactly what we meant? Like this vintage Coca Cola ad, that reminds us (and Dina Lohan) that it's never too early to start your child on a heavy coke regimen.

• Ali Landry's dress would be a whole lot prettier if she hadn't accidentally sat on the lacy black tablecloth.

• Eva Mendes gets "tastefully" topless for Maxim magazine.

• When people talk about gun control, they're not talking abstractly about an individual's right to bear arms. They're talking about psychos like T.I.

Have you heard? Jane's folding. Which is extremely sad for everyone (except Jane's original EIC, Jane Pratt, who's rather pleased). And what better way to go out with a bang than by having the Eva Mendes pose topless for the last ever Jane cover, and a pregnant Milla Jovovich show off her giant belly only months before she (promptly) loses all the baby weight with the assistance of an extremely expensive personal trainer?

Eva Mendes, Kate Mara, Joss Stone and pregnant Milla Jovovich are among the stars baring all for a provocative new Jane magazine shoot.

Actress Mendes, who appears topless on thee cover, covering her breasts with pink flowers, admits she was honoured to be asked to appear in what will be Jane's final issue.

She says, "It's such a girl-friendly magazine and I feel completely honoured to be on the cover and just really comfortable in my skin… I worked really hard for my body and I'm really happy with it."

We think Jane's definitely ending on a high note. After all, nothing screams social relevance and post-feminist sass so loudly or clearly as a picture of actress Eva Mendes, with pink carnations hiding her naughty-parts.

• Eva Longoria is officially a desperate housewife.

• Ever wonder how many summer cocktails you can comfortable fit on Janet Jackson's rump? Well, turns out it's only three. Crazy, we know. We had eleven in our office pool.

• Drew Barrymore to become the newest Gucci girl. Upcoming: Barrymore to tarnish Gucci's fashion-forward reputation by making out with awkward hipster Zach Braff.

• Eva Mendes reminds us that is still possible to look hot in a bikini without being grossly underweight.

• Meanwhile, is it sad that we're super jealous of Kerri Russell's post-baby weight?

• Harry Potter shows what's under his invisibility cloak. Again.

• The Chicago Tribune confuses Serena Williams with Beyonce Knowles; both women are offended.

• Slutty flight attendant changes her story, cops to joining Mile High Club with Ralph Fiennes.

• Ubiquitous cover girl Eva Mendes "slips" and admits Halle Berry has had a little bit of work done.

• OMG, could Grey's Anatomy really have killed off its self-involved protagonist? Will it have to rename it after one of its self-involved secondary characters??

• Pee-Wee Herman shows up to check out big-booty ho's at the premiere for Reno 911.

I was in my car all day, running from audition to audition, living off of Jack in the Box. I had no energy and was moody, and I didn’t look as cute in my jeans as I used to. Learning to love fresh greens hasn’t been easy. My goal is to actually one day crave salads, but I’m not there yet.

–Eva Mendes in this month's Shape Magazine