Having moved on from Milan Fashion Week, where the Italian police tackled him when he stormed a runway show, Sacha Baron Cohen's fashionista character Bruno has moved on to Paris, where Carine Roitfeld assumes her Anna Wintour role on home turf. It was in the City of Lights where, yesterday, Bruno decided his attendance would be welcome at Stella McCartney's runway show. Sitting there in the second row, perhaps he was an invited guest. Or, you know, not. Because he did gross, disgusting things. But leave it to British Vogue to write so eloquently about his stunts while noting his fashion choices:

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Sacha Baron Cohen was arrested during a Milan fashion show this week while in character as the gay Austrian Bruno. Cohen was filming segments for his new film, Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Male. Apparently the Italian policia just don't "get" performance art of the Cohen caliber. You know, like the naked fat guys wrestling caliber.

Here's the footage of Cohen getting tackled and wearing a bag on his head like an Abu Ghraib refugee, although Guantanamo Bay references were more appropriate for Cohen's Borat's persona:

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'She was photographed, as the slide show we've put together demonstrates, at a minimum of 21 events over Fashion Week, at shows ranging from BCBG Max Azria to cult label Costello Tagliapietra, in addition to several private dinners and parties (often wearing huge black sunglasses a la Anna Wintour, as New York magazine's fashion blog noted). She was supposed to be reporting from Style.com's "Virtual Front Row" for the week, but other than a brief introductory audio post, she doesn't seem to have checked back in.' [NYO]

Vincent Gallo is that weird little bug-eyed man who made one good movie (not Brown Bunny), convinced Chloë Sevigny to S his D on-camera, and then tried to sell his sperm online for a million dollars.

Oh, also the dude loves Ronald Reagan and George Bush. Ironically? Who knows.

So it's only natural that Gallo wants to be taken seriously as a professional and will flip out if you crack wise about his apparel choices:

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Rachel Zoe is that very thin celebrity stylist who transforms her thin clients into boho versions of her younger self, and now she is a celebrity in her own right because people make fun of her, and she has a Bravo reality show , and also she is thin. Okay? Moving along…

So if the paparazzi outside of Calvin Klein's fashion tent had to pick one thing to goad Zoe about, what do you think it would be?

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The ridiculous and accidental blockbuster popularity of MTV's Laguna Beach brought us The Hills, that reality show showcasing the lives of girls now too famous and wealthy to actually be the fictional versions they play on TV. And now that The Hills has performed the insurmountable task of keeping MTV semi-relevant, everybody else wants in. That's why Bravo is hunting for their own set of privileged West Coast youth and a production company is shooting a D.C. version as we speak. Even MTV, then, wants more of the magic. Enter The City, MTV's New York-based off-shoot of the show. Whereas The Hills took a group of pretty ladies from no-name status to insta-brands, The City will start off with a set of semi-known girls. Among them:

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By now it's old news that J. Lo was the super-secret guest judge on this season's Project Runway finale. Except the diva didn't make it to Bryant Park for the runway taping today because of a dubious "foot injury," so PR host and cunning linguist Tim Gunn gamely stepped up to the plate and judged contestants for the first time ever. It was nothing short of a Fashion Week miracle according to a source: "People were crying because they were so moved by Tim being a judge." Or maybe they were weeping because … they wouldn't get to sit five aisles behind Lopez.

Silver haired fox Tim Gunn flitted in and out of Fashion Week tents like a dapper mosquito at a blood drive, but thankfully he had time to stop and discuss words and their appropriate usage in the fashion world:

"'Cool' to me is dated, whereas 'chic' is not…'Sophisticated' is a word that will always be with us," he predicted. "'Polished' is a word that will always be with us." Gunn said "on trend" was more in vogue now than "trendy" and that he dislikes "modern" to describe a new look.

If you watch reality shows to cull new buzzwords to use around the office cooler, than you are mostly likely insufferable. Or Tyra Banks. Point being, if you can't make an honest statement without using some popular phrase that acts like an embarrassing snapshot of time in which said phrase was popular (i.e. "talk to the hand," "da bomb," etc.) then you are exactly the sort of person that reality television programs are designed for.

Sean Avery skated (ugh!) his way into your fantasies playing for the New York Rangers, but you'd never know it from all the summer buzz. Avery "begged" Anna Wintour an internship at her body dysmorphic disorder magazine and the queen relented, as she needed to learn some pro tips on gracefully bodychecking underlings while making impromptu exits.

Now that time has run out on Avery's NY experience, he is cramming in all the Fashion Week activities he can before he moves to Texas to join the Dallas Stars, earn $15.5 million over four years, and never, ever talk about his experience in men's fashion again. Until the press junket for that New Line movie.

So what did his summer as a clothes horse teach him? How to talk like a snotty New Yorker, natch:

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We thought it was only professional tennis that got Anna Wintour's blood pumping. No so. Because when a runway show ends, there's only one means of making an exit: running. Here she is at Derek Lam. And there are reports of her sprinting out of Dennis Basso.

Lydia Hearst, of red carpets and Gossip Girl cameos, was rushed to New York-Presbyterian Hospital yesterday. Updating her Facebook status along the way, she reveals she's trying to pass a kidney stone. Ouch! What's worse, Monday night's Edridge event, Ms. Hearst is due to headline 1407 Broadway's party this evening. Safe to assume somebody canceled?

The Motherland is schooling the United States on how to run their own magazines: Apparently "fashion journalism" emphasizes both words equally in Russia, which makes everyone crowding those tents here in Bryant Park this week look like, well, fashion bloggers.

Aliona Doletskaya is the editor over at Russian Vogue, and the qualifications she brings to the table as a reporter and editor outnumber the amount of haircuts Anna Wintour receives on a yearly basis. Dolestkaya holds a Ph.D. in comparative linguistics and said a recent cover photo for the glossy epresents “the Byzantine past of the country.”

Byzantine, smyzantine. Would Doletskaya have the яи́чки to put African-American basketball player Lebron James on the cover of Vogue, looking like a damn dirty ape? How about taking the brand name to India and dressing those below the poverty level in Burberry to better shill $3,000 umbrellas to people who live off of less than a buck twenty five a day?

Nope? Then get back to us when Doletskaya is ready to play in the big (racist) leagues.

Feck Fashion Week photo galleries. Style.com has them. So, too, does New York, Coutorture, the Daily News, Fashionista, and the endless blogs with readerships of two hundred. And they're all the same! WireImage or Getty or some other service that everyone is pulling from. Even the party photos on Guest of a Guest and Down By The Hipster are indistinguishable. So we appreciate this entry from BlackBook — the first entry of illustrated coverage we've seen, and it's quite to our liking. It's of Charlotte Ronson's afterparty at Country Club on 14th Street, where Lindsay Lohan, Sam Ronson, and Nicole Richie made guests feel fat.

No, it is not fashion that gets Anna Wintour excited. Fashion is work. Play? Now that excites the high-maintenance editor. At left, Ms. Wintour attends the U.S. Open on Sept. 2 to watch her BFF Roger Federer. She was also there yesterday (but why does NOBODY HAVE A PICTURE?), when Federer won his fifth straight U.S. Open title beating Andy Murray, after a spat of rain delayed the match; it also forced Wintour to miss the 5pm show from Proenza Schouler, the label she arguably put on the radar. But here is Wintour later in the day yesterday, at Marc Jacobs' 9pm show, where she's not having fun. Boys in shorts: Yea! Girls in dresses: Boo!