While standing in the unemployment line has been the fate of most magazine worker drones these days, it's nice to hear a success story once in awhile. Except, of course, when the success is come by in the most egregious, unwarranted way possible.
FHM is a Bauer-owned mag, sort of the British answer to Maxim, a direct relative of the original "lad's mag" Loaded. In 2007 FHM (which stands for For Him Magazine) became online only, and most of the editorial staff was nixed.
Except, according to a little birdie, for a former FHM office assistant who was hired to be their U.S. Editor, and now is living the sweet life with a sweet salary and paid-for apartment (since he works from home, get it?).
Which is fine: everyone needs editors, and god bless Bauer for treating their employees right and hiring from within their own ranks.
Except, once you skim a couple of these editor's writing samples, those cheers quickly turn into baffled moans of frustration over broheim here landing such a sweet gig with no writing skills to speak of.
CONTINUED »
Forgive us, dear readers, as we have a somewhat embarrassing confession to make. Somehow, amidst all the fracas of Hillary and Barack Obama blazing the campaign trail, we managed to miss the insignificant reincarnation of the oft-unread "lad mag," FHM.
The annoying little brother to Maxim and Stuff, FHM disappeared not long ago, which left us—and, undoubtedly, you—with a gaping hole in our hearts that could only be described as "skimpily-clad bikini babe withdrawal."
Well, chin up, sirs! Because FHM is back, and the crappy online version is completely reminiscent of its crappy print predecessor.
And while we missed their online launch party, hosted by Bam "I Banged Jessica Simpson" Margera, we're nonetheless beside ourselves in breathless anticipation of chicks in short shorts…with the possibility of MORE chicks in short shorts to come.
So, welcome back, FHM! We're thrilled to have you rejoin us on the information superhighway, and look forward to your astute commentary on the worldly topics of side-boobage, underage hotties and accidental nip-slips.
How does a media pundit get away with a Christmas column? By tagging a trend piece to an expiring news peg, that's how. Enter David Carr's Dec. 25 item about the coming fall of the lad mag. Publisher Emap just closed FHM, so surely Maxim's kin are doomed, yes?
In part, the lad magazines got lapped by technology. YouTube looks like a lad contents page with full-motion video. TMZ has gone Defcon 4 in real-time over Britney’s pantygate. And, Heavy.com has America’s Suck Countdown, with a joke-a-second cadence that would be difficult for anybody to catch up with, let alone a magazine.
“It is tough to come up with something fresh in the category,” said Greg Gutfeld, a former editor of Stuff in the United States and Maxim in Britain. “The only innovation is price and frequency, and the only price that is working is free and the only frequency that is working is daily.”
Thank goodness, then, that shuttered Hachette title Shock will keep kickin' online at ShockU.com. That's totally gonna be a success.
• Time Inc. spending lots of cash to find out how not to spend lots of cash.
• FHM may be closing, but lucky you, publisher Emap is keeping the website around!
• Former CNN chief Eason Jordan puts faith, future in blogging about Iraq.
• Who wants to work for curmudgeon Bob Woodward? Hundreds and hundreds of qualified journalists, it seems.
• People, Hello fight over Brangelina exclusive.
• Gawker holiday party at the same place it hates on.
• LAT recycles quotes, shocks few.
• Unauthorized biographer devil Kitty Kelly selects Oprah as her next target.
• AOL unloads 450 employees.
Every single month for the past five months, we've read on Fishbowl NY about lad mags For Him Magazine being covered at the newsstands. We had our theories about the reasoning behind this action. Maybe the newsstand was close to a school? Maybe there are a surplus of gay male newsstand shoppers and the attendants think half naked ladies will drive business away? Maybe something in a newsstand owner's culture or religion doesn't jive with girls showing off their bodies.
But each of these guesses, were, apparently wrong.
After censoring the covers of five consecutive issues of FHM, Hudson News has pulled the white sheet of the November cover just a day after a New York Times report confirmed a rumor we posted earlier that a number of advertisers had pulled out of the issue because its cover subject Brooke Hogan — a.k.a the Hulkster's daughter — was underage.
So … it's either because magazine doesn't feature any alcohol or because it's only ok for girls to scantily clad if they're under 21. Why didn't we think of that before?
FHM Uncensored By Newsstand [Dylan Stableford, Fishbowl, NY]
Following in the steps of Maxim and Blender, FHM is the next lad mag to commit a mass staff execution. Just in from Mediaweek:
On Friday, the six-year-old title fired five, including Anthony Wright, its founding fashion director. Others let go are Elisabeth Dick, fashion editor; Sean Johnston, art director; Meghan Conaton and Mark Yarm, associate editors.
Insiders say FHM has been putting more resources toward its Internet property, having recently hired four more staffers to support its Web site.
Last year, the magazine also cut from fashion coverage when it shuttered FHM Collections. We guess it's tough to hold on to a well-paid fashion staff when your models don't actually wear any clothes.
Earlier: Editors Fired in Maxim-um Axings?
When we read this press release, we could almost hear the communal sigh of women from all the way across the bridge. A porn star giving men (oh, and women) sex advice. Just what we need.
Fans of adult entertainment are already quite familiar with Seymore Butts' Tushy Girl, Flower Tucci. She is known far and wide for her amazing ability to squirt and for her world-class tushy.
Now readers of FHM (For Him Magazine online) will get to know Flower as well as we do …
… they have decided that a woman as clearly skilled as Flower should share her sexual knowledge with the men and women out there.
In her "Sexpert" blog, Flower gives FHM reader straight shootin' advice and no holds barred sex talk from one of the busiest tushies in all of porn.
Cosmopolitan is already preparing their article entitled, "Why Your Boyfriend Won't Fuck You Unless You're Tied to the Oven Wearing Combat Boots and an Apron."
FHM Hires Adult Film Star To Write Weekly Sex Blog [Fishbowl NY]
The news that July will bring us the first FHM with a porn star on the cover almost blew our minds. Mostly because we thought all the girls on the FHM covers were porn stars. (Didn't Paris Hilton do an FHM cover?)
Anyways, TMZ is reporting that Tera Patrick will be the first "adult film star" to grace the cover of the US version of lad mag.
Tera Patrick was recently on the cover of the UK version, making it one of their highest selling issues ever. Because of that success, the magazine has given Tera the US cover for the month of July.
That's just great news. And really, quite genius. Who would have ever thought guys ages 19-27 would be more interested in a porn star than Jenny McCarthy?
• We don't give a fuck about Jodie Marsh, but her boobs did almost pop all over FHM's "Sexiest Women" party. [Hollywood Tuna]
• Who are these "snickering media types?" Sure Anderson Cooper is a mama's boy — but isn't every prep schooled New Yorker?
• Britney Spears puts tabs on Kevin Federline. Hey, when you can no longer count on your looks to keep your husband in line, hire a "minder" for him. [Scoop]
• Why not kick off your weekend early with more Maury Povich sex talk than you could ever want to hear. [R&M]
• The last days of Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos have been captured. Yeah … no, they're still alive. Sorry guys. [People]
• Though we're not sure that Jennifer Lopez can keep enough clothes on to make a Middle Eastern show appropriate, at least some people somewhere still want to see her perform. [Page Six]
• Alicia Keys succumbs to the hottest new celebrity trend — visiting Africa! It's totally the new St. Tropez. [TMZ]
• We try not to spend too much time thinking about the fact that Ryan Seacrest can buy a $11.5 million home. [People]
• For the first time in years, Britney Spears does not make it onto the FHM 100 sexiest women poll. Even though she brushed her hair and put on shoes, still not hot. [RTE]
• What's so special about a feud between two Kiss cover bands comprised of only little people? Um, we're gonna' go with everything. [Page Six]
• Because people expect nothing but the worst crap ever from Paris Hilton, when she manages to do anything other than fall on her face drunk, the world gasps in awe and calls it talent. The day she wins a Grammy, the music might actually die. [LAT]
• Two tickets to see Madonna at Madison Square Garden, will only set you back, oh, slightly less than a grand. Hell, throw in a decent meal for you and a date, and you could make it an even thousand. [Brooklyn Vegan]
Yes, we find it extremely puzzling that Teri Hatcher beat Jennifer Garner, Beyonce, and Amanda Peet on FHM's Top 100 hot list.
Yet, In proving that we may never understand the way straight guys think, we've decided to bring you the For Him readers' choice for the top 10 hottest female celebutants.
10. Teri Hatcher
9. Carmen Electra
8. Maria Sharapova
7. Jenny McCarthy
6. Halle Berry
5. Keira Knightly
4. Jessica Simpson
3. Jessica Alba
2. Angelina Jolie
1. Scarlett Johansson
Yet, nary a mention of Britney Spears restores our faith that (even though they may be strange) they FHM reading dudes are still human.
According the theories of Jeff Bercovici, if something happens three times, the media can call it a trend. Based on this presumption, the eight lad mags which showed ad page losses conclude that there is a new wave hitting men's magazines like a tsunami.
Besides the three titles showing an increase in ads, Esquire, Men's Fitness, and Men's Journal, the rest don't look so good. Maxim is down 39 percent, and FHM has sunk 44 percent, with a total men's mag ad page loss of 15.1 percent.
Just why the men's title's are taking such a hit is entirely unclear. The category finished 2005 modestly ahead in pages. Is the lad's craze finally over? Are advertisers suddenly moving dollars to other media to reach young men, the internet, for example?
Young guys who used to read Maxim browsing the internet? Hmm, what could they possibly be doing on there?
Lad leader Maxim sinks 39 percent in pages [Heidi Dawley, Media Life]
• How fun would it be to throw Donald Trump into the Les Moonves vs. Howard Stern brawl? [Page Six]
• Orioles pitcher Kris Benson sells his wife to FHM. [Mediaweek]
• In the economics of magazine exchange rates, three years of Blender equals one year of Cargo. We wonder how many Details you need to make a GQ? Like, 3.75, maybe? [Ad Age]
• We didn't believe anyone wanted it at first, either, but, Keith Kelly’s “exclusive†of the day tells us what we already know. One last time, everybody, Hartle Media bought Spin. [NYP]
• Franklin Foer somehow managed to change jobs without loosing any blood. Amazing, because he seems kind of like a guy who would get punched in the face a lot. [NYT]
• Because he always knows what's right, Carl Icahn thinks Time Warner's stock would be trading much higher if his decisions were put into place. Namely, breaking up Time Warner. [Business Week]
• During this morning's online chat, WaPo exec editor Leo Downie Jr. says he doesn't think Bob Woodward should resign — though he does believe he should've shut up on TV. [WaPo]
• At this point we really don't need Wenner Media "insiders" to tell us that Jann Wenner and Kent Brownridge haven't been getting along of late, especially since Gary Armstrong in marketing refused to go to alcohol rehab. [WWD & Lowdown]
• British publisher Emap is said to be mulling the sale of its American FHM — and Hearst looks interested, even after shuttering the never-seen Bullet. [NYP]
• Jeff Zucker is tired of blogs receiving so much attention. All the buzz that My Name Is Earl has received, however, he's totally cool with. [Daily Northwestern]
• Since he's on the way out anyhow, we're applauding Ted Koppel's public lashing of President Bush. "One fiasco after another" is how he tells it — just like ABC News! [NYP]
• Colleen Curtis is leaving the Cooke jar at the Daily News to become a supervising editor at Good Morning America, where she's expected to feed us reports on exec producer Ben Sherwood's rage levels. [NYP]
• Good news: Dick Cheney isn't Bob Woodward's source. Bad news: Dick Cheney is still your vice president. [AP]
Editorial Director
