Oh, how sweet it is: as Fox News Channel re-ups their contract with president Roger Ailes for another five years, FNC's VP David Rhodes is hopping-along-Cassidy to Bloomberg Media to head up their television division. What, Fox didn't sweeten the money pot enough, or did Mike and Co. just make Rhodes an offer he couldn't refuse? The Rhodes deal was announced yesterday and the Ailes today, meaning that both men were probably called down to the principal's office and given the news by Murdoch himself.

Rhodes, combined with Bloomberg's new powerhouse Andrew Lack at the helm (you know, the guy who used to run NBC) could strengthen Bloomberg TV to compete against all the big names in broadcast, like, uh, Fox News.

CONTINUED »

Whoa whoa whoa! There is a network out there that isn't sending out pink slips and canceling their holiday party? Shit, are they hiring?

CNN has seen double-digit profits for the last five years in a row, sort of a freakish oversight by the big guy upstairs which has allowed the station to use the extra cash flow to hold crazy CNN Grill parties like the one on election night, and employ cutting edge (but ultimately faked) technology for it's Nov. 4th holograms.

But no one wants to know how the station is going to spend their money. They want to know why the Time Warner station is doing so well in the first place.

CONTINUED »

It's inevitable: in the future, all story leads are going to come from Facebook. So how best to prepare for the upcoming social networkalypse, when all sources will need to be wooed with a promise of a hatching egg and several pokes? By having reputable(?) news networks set up their own stake in the virtual friend zone.

Welcome to Fox News' Facebook, you guys!

CONTINUED »

Bill O'Reilly might act like he's mad tonight if Barack Obama gets elected as President, but in truth it won't change a goddamn thing about the tone over at Fox News. The station that originally started this campaign as a catch-all for conservatives and Republicans has slowly shifted over time to to parroting the language and sentiment of Rush Limbaugh and the fringe right-wingers. So much so that even David Brooks has thrown in the towel and declared the station out of touch.

So what can we reasonably expect to see on the lower digit channel during the next four years?

CONTINUED »

Don't be too sad if you are one of the Election Day layoff staffers over at Viacom: you're not missing much of a Christmas party, anyway.

MTV's parent company isn't the only one calling off its major annual bash; Lydia Hearst already did or did not call out her dynasty for throwing elaborate parties while the country goes broke, and now it's been shut it down as well.

Full list of the companies going rogue Scrooge this year after the jump. At least they'll be able to cut in half their companies' sexual harassment lawsuits?

CONTINUED »

Just because Brian Kilmeade is 1/3 of the "friends" part of Fox and Friends, doesn't mean FNC owes the guy any favors. Truth be told, you watch that show for fifteen minutes and see who the most replaceable anchor is. Steve Doocy? No way man, he's the closest thing Fox has to a level-headed conservative. And Gretchen Carlson is the pretty face, much to Kilmeade's ire.

No, finding another whiny, giggly, preening Republican wouldn't be too hard for Fox to find, especially since at least a couple people are still pulling for Elisabeth Hasselbeck to join the dark side.

So when word hit the street that Brian tried playing hardball with Fox execs for a contract re-up and got shot down, exactly nobody was surprised. Kilmeade is a diva, and the only unexpected outcome of his theatrics was that he didn't get fired on the spot.

But now Brian is backtracking and sending angry voicemails to Huffpost saying that he never asked for any special treatment at Fox. Well, except for one, small, absurd request.

CONTINUED »

Brit Hume is so angry at the liberal media for implying, à la that Politico article yesterday, that just because a news source is admittedly left-leaning doesn't mean that McCain isn't losing.

Because the news is totally objective and if it's not, than it is lying to you! Well, no, there are some grey areas. As the old adage goes, even a broken Bill O'Reilly is right twice a day.

Although, according to Brit Hume's logic, everyone at his own station should lose their jobs:

CONTINUED »

Early reports suggested ass-man and CNN "personality" Glenn Beck is finalizing a deal with Fox News, and now confirmation. The silver-haired bigot-y blowhard will snag the 5 pm spot on the "fair and balanced" news network beginning this spring, which pits him opposite Chris Matthews' Hardball (assuming his MSNBC contract gets re-upped next year). Can we try to determine an ass-timate for how much Rupert Murdoch will shell out for the opinionated Republican?

CONTINUED »

We don't know how they do it, but they do, and it. Is. Fucking. Astonishing.

The maniacs at Fox News somehow put together an earnest segment in which giggly hack Laura Ingraham talks to ACTOR Stephen Baldwin about just why the heck these loudmouth celebrities think they can go around expressing their opinions. We're pretty good at sensing irony, and there is NONE in either of their voices. Not even when Stephen, who, by the way, is the one not as smart as Alec, not as handsome as Billy and not as rugged as Daniel, says, "Here's what's freaky to me: The media and Hollywood is so convinced that mainstream America cares what it thinks." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, we hope this guy's not kidding when he says he's leaving if Obama wins.

CONTINUED »

Fox News is getting plenty of crap for these two photos, of New York Times reporter Jacques Steinberg and television editor Steven Reddicliffe, an axed ex-employee there, which were completely manipulated to make the reporters look much worse than they actually do. Fox & Friends co-hosts Steve "The Whiny One" Doocy and Brian "The Lap Dog" Kilmeade weren't happy when Steinberg's byline was on a "hit piece," ordered by "attack dog" Reddicliffe, on their cable news network, which explained how CNN and MSNBC were narrowing the gap with the ratings leader. Foreheads were lengthened or shrunk, teeth were yellowed, and chins were made into bulbous appendages. As a matter of decency, however, there were no coke dots, pee stains, or drool scrawled across them. Video of the segment below.

CONTINUED »