No longer content with merely swiping O.J. Simpson's Rolex, re-releasing his hypothetical confession out of spite, and leaving his fate up to the occasionally faulty American legal system, Fred Goldman has instructed his lawyers to look through his son's murderer's tax returns with a fine-toothed comb.

Because, as Mollygood puts it, "Besides tax authorities and golf resorts, the main party interested in Simpson’s income is Fred Goldman, the father of one of Simpson’s alleged murder victims, who strongly believes that bankrupting his son’s killer translates to justice."

• In an amazing pre-taped appearance on The Tyra Banks Show, a pre-scandal Vanessa Hudgens lectures Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan on tabloid avoidance, explaining "It’s easy to stay out of those situations. You just have to smart about your decisions." Well, obviously!

• Meanwhile, OK! magazine continues to rain on Vanny's parade by informing us that she and Zac Efron are no longer fake-dating.

• Watch out! According to this sign, there are "children playing while adults have lawnmower sex," just ahead.

• Here it is! The first picture from the set of the superfluous Sex and the City movie, shown from a respectable distance so as to avoid an unnecessary close-up of Sarah Jessica Parker's giant chin pimple.

• Jessica Alba makes bad movies, good wardrobe decisions.

• Fred Goldman continues to chase the black murderer of his son his white whale.

In the wake of James Frey recreating some sort of literary career, it’s easy to doubt Oprah’s power. But yesterday, she reminded the Goldmans that she’s nobody’s media fool.

Oprah didn’t attack Fred Goldman’s ridiculous moustache, but she did question the ethics of publishing a book describing his son’s murder, questioning if he was making “blood money” off the book.

After Denise Brown dropped out of the live tapping with the Goldmans, Oprah didn’t want to hold interview at all, but she felt obligated to keep her word to the Goldmans. Like everyone else except the Goldmans, Oprah feels a little awkward about the book, and said, "I don't want to be in the position to promote this book, because I, too, think it's despicable."

CONTINUED »

Fred Goldman, the long-suffering father of Ron Goldman is stopping by Oprah's revolving couch today to promote -slash-deplore the "hypothetical" confession written by "actual" murderer O.J. Simpson. And apparently, he's decided to let the book speak for itself.

Goldman hasn't changed a word of the text or the title. But, in a stinging bit of irony, he has reduced the size of the word "If" to the level of the microscopic.

To be fair, we wouldn't really call that "a stinging bit of irony" so much as "stating the obvious" and "making utterly fantastic usage of the oft-overlooked teeny font."

Either way, we're still not reading it.