Good news from the Thompson campaign: "Today I have withdrawn my candidacy for President of the United States. I hope that my country and my party have benefited from our having made this effort."

Yes, thanks for the effort. We're also ready to thank Rudy Giuliani and Ron Paul.

[CNN]

Rudy Giuliani is the only person running for President who is happy with his coverage on Fox. After allegations that Fox News is not-too-subtly supporting him, Fred Thompson went further saying that the channel has been disparaging of his campaign.

On Fox News Sunday, Thompson said:

For you to highlight nothing but the negatives in terms of the polls and then put on your own guys who have been predicting for four months, really, that I couldn't do it, kind of skew things a little bit. There's a lot of other opinion out there.

Yeah, like Arthur Branch is the best District Attorney on Law & Order and Fred Thompson’s wife is a babe.

Have you heard? Law & Order star (and Republican presidential candidate) Fred Thompson was recently quizzed on civil unions by potential voter Edward Paul. Here's how he fared:

"I’m proud to say that in January 2008 New Hampshire has passed a law facilitating civil unions here,” Paul asked. “What is your belief for federal civil unions to be passed?”

“Soviet Union?” Thompson responded.

“No, civil unions,” Paul said.

“Oh. No, I would not be in support of that,” Thompson said.

Cue the obligatory smart-alecky remark (like "You know the trouble with unions? They're always on strike") from wryly cynical District Attorney Arthur Branch. Oh wait a sec, that used to be Thompson's job.

• Weird! Even though she's totally not pregnant, JLo's recent weight gain continues to be exclusively confined to her uterus!

• This is what happens when Elizabeth Taylor stays up late at night watching Teen Wolf on TBS.

• Oh, relax, people. After all, what's the harm in teaching kids to defend a tradition that degraded black people and entrenched racism into our society?

• Speaking of which, since when did the West Villagers get so uptight and family oriented? S&M street fairs are what make communities!

• Breaking: Law & Order is far more addictive/habit-forming than Fred Thompson.

• The Post continues its intellectually rigorous look at work relations, sexuality and weight

• "Fair Board may banish erotic corndog contest."

After an atypically serious morning, we were fortunate enough to encounter this stunning example of unadulterated headline greatness.

Fred Thompson Fears Presidential Run Will Typecast Him As Politician.

Is it wrong that we're not sure if this is one of those times where The Onion is, uncharacteristically, playing it straight? [The Onion]

Mitt Romney's camp continues to deny knowing anything about www.phonyfred.org (a now-defunct website created ostensibly to slander fellow Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson) despite the fact that the site's founder apparently bears a tenuous connection to someone loosely affiliated with the campaign.

Fortunately, Thompson's communications director Todd Harris reacts with the appropriate amount of decorum and restraint, immediately classifying Romney's response as a "half-baked cover-up attempt [that] does not even pass the laugh test."

At least he got that last part right.

• Jessica Alba doesn't work out. Doesn't diet. Doesn't prevaricate. Ever.

• Don't bee afraid of using your cellphone at those fancy garden parties. It was actually a virus that was killing all the bumblebees.

• Breaking: Another conservative Republican candidate is formally opposed to same-sex marriage.

• Amy Winehouse's father generously offers to take control of her bank account.

• Former underwear model Antonio Sabato Jr. is looking for a lovely lady who doesn't mind getting up early, giving up alcohol and riding on the back of a Harley.

Fred Thompson is raising boatloads of money for his not-yet-official presidential campaign. Special bonus: Because he's not (technically) in the race, he doesn't have to disclose anything about his financial "backers" or where those hefty campaign contributions are coming from (*cough* oil money.) [Queerty]

If NBC wanted to keep airing Fred Thompson's Law & Order episodes, theoretically they could. Since repeats air on Time Warner's TNT – a cable channel, where the FCC's "equal time" regulations don't apply – the Republican presidential hopeful could, in theory, play District Attorney Arthur Branch for years to come. But NBC brass isn't willing to deal with the potential complaints: They're sticking with keeping him off-air for good. Which is too bad, too, 'cause most of those episodes constituted Angie Harmon's "getting hot" years. [NYT]

If, and when, actor Fred Thompson ever gets around to formally announcing his Republican presidential bid, Dick Wolf is going to yank him. (What a mildly amusing sentence we just got to write.) Because of "equal time" laws, which force broadcast networks to give all candidates the same amount of airtime outside of news reports, the Law & Order exec producer says that after Sept. 1 he'll pull all episodes featuring Thompson as District Attorney Arthur Branch. Ya know what that means? Lots more Vincent D'Onofrio!

Law & Order's Fred Thompson has reportedly asked to leave the show, indicating he's serious about running for president and ruining our country with Reaganomics.

&bull Dow Jones' largest outside shareholder urges Bancrofts to sell. His argument? "Who's to say Rupert Murdoch is all that bad?" Convincing!

• The prosecution rests their case against Conrad Black, meaning it's just a matter of time before the jury returns with a (guilty) verdict.

• Brooks Barnes ditches WSJ for NYT. Not because Barnes thinks the Times is a better paper, but because he's really psyched about covering "the business of Hollywood in all its fascinating iterations." And because they asked.

• Bill Gates and Steve Jobs continue to perpetuate the nerdiest and most boring rivalry. Ever.

• Meanwhile, weather media personalities have never been bigger! With the exception of Al Roker.