• We forgive the Shins for the "changing over lives" since they recently sold songs for Zune and iPhone ads. Way to stick it to the man by selling out to him.

• Despite mountains of forensic evidence, O.J. Simpson pleads not guilty. Deja vu anyone?

• The Olsen twins business savvy goes beyond direct to rental videos. The asking price for their West Village condo is nearly triple what they originally bought it for. Meanwhile, our rent only increased $45 a month this year.

• Jake Gyllenhaal will star in a Joe Namath biopic. Reenacting the panty hose ad will surely squash any rumors about his sexuality.

• French Tennis player Richard Gasquet insists he's not gay, even when nobody is asking.

• Miss Puerto Rico proves the real way to win a beauty pageant these days is to stage a controversy and appear on the Today Show.

The Shins really did change Natalie Portman’s life.

Not too long ago, she was starting in a billion dollar movie franchise. Now she’s guest editing the upcoming issue Scholastic Math to promote her new movie, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. One look at the trailer, you’ll be happy you don’t have kids.

Frankly, guest editing Scholastic Math is a fair punishment for starring in the Garden State. If there were any justice in this world, Zach Braff would have to deal with the Portfolio mess for the last scene of that movie.