Damon: "Brad has had it tough. He's …"
Clooney: "Hobbled with children …"
Damon: "And that wife …"
Clooney: "That horrible, ugly wife."
Damon: "I mean, to go home to her every day …"
Clooney: "What do you do?"
Damon: "Well, you have your work. That's about it. You can take refuge there."
–Matt Damon and George Clooney, clowning around the day before the Oceans 13 premiere. [via Popsugar]
**For more behind the scenes on Oceans 13, check out this video clip**
• Howie Day takes time out of his Britney-humping schedule to jump onstage during Spears' "comeback" performance.
• Meanwhile, bloggers weigh in on Britney Spears' latest performance: "Her lip synching skills have not suffered during her recent meltdown."
• Katie Holmes reportedly trying her hand at non-Scientologist, non-homosexual men.
• This is what happens when you hit the dog with a newspaper one too many times.
• George Clooney jokes: "“Hell, I’m glad I have the Ocean’s franchise around to keep paying the bills for some of my other films which have tanked!” Hahaha—oh, wait. He owns an Italian villa.
• Robert De Niro awkwardly asks young black R&B singer Jamelia if she wants to be his "leading lady."
• Gina Glockson inexplicably loses out to her skanky, bug-eyed and well-coiffed competitors.
• Was Joseph Gordon Levitt's pap smear real or staged?
• Quentin Tarantino made out with four lovely ladies at Butter. Which is, admittedly, a huge step up from hitting on MTV interns at the premiere of My Super Ex-Girlfriend.
• Between her crappy reality TV series and her (presumably) crappy upcoming memoirs, L'il Kim's 5 minutes in prison could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to her!
• Tinsley Mortimer and Chloe Sevigny BFF? Tins possibly being enlightened on what it's really like to go down on Vincent Gallo?
• George Clooney confuses lemonade stand with Starbucks, spends $20 quenching his thirst.
Already over celebrity adoption? So are we. Seriously, when did carrying to term become so passe? Most of these actresses have two perfectly good ovaries, and yet it seems as though everyone's following Brangelina's lead and ordering in Vietnamese whenever they get the baby bug.
Anyhow thanks to Angie and her third-world brood, we're feeling overwhelmed by stories of celebs venturing to the farthest regions of the world only to return with children who may or may still belong to someone else. (We're talking about you, Madge!) And apparently we're not alone. George Clooney weighs in with his thoughts on this latest Hollwood craze:
[George Clooney] joked that he was going to adopt — but not quite like some of his Hollywood colleagues. He quipped, “I’m going to adopt a good-looking 24-year-old girl with some cash.”
We're right with you, Georgie! And in that spirit, we're currently taking offers from all ridiculously attractive twenty-somethings in need of a little TLC.
• George Clooney up for the role of Bill O'Reilly; feels ready to "act" the part of celebrity Hothead.
• Howard Stern has plenty of critics but no censor; free to be his loud, vulgar self.
• Philly newspapers slash jobs in advertising department; apparently forget that ad revenues account for most of their overall profits.
• Patriots coach Bill Belichick apologizes for celebrating Pats win by shoving photographer Jim Davis in the face.
• Aspen Daily News editor jumps to The Aspen Times in news that must be "pretty big" in Aspen.
• Rosie O'Donnell claims "Trump is obsessed" with her. Insert Donald's inevitable *she's just throwing her weight around* rebuttal.
• Malcolm Gladwell has two bestselling books, an impressive 'fro, and a puff piece in the Washingtonian.
We promise that if you'll let us make a quick joke about George Clooney's rumored homosexuality and this headline attaching his name to "Dorothy," we'll do our best to make sure nobody else repeats said joke.
Thanks.
• George Clooney is on a "secret mission" to help those suffering in Darfur. Gossip Roger Friedman supposedly knew about it days ago but agreed to keep it a secret. Anything for a pal.
• Britney Spears' new man is music producer JR Rotem, who, it turns out, worked with soon-to-be ex-husb Kevin Federline.
• Liza's ex-husband David Gest finds a woman willing to lock lips.
• Paris Hilton defends BFF Britney. On MySpace.
• The "G" in D&G says no to gay parenting.
• Courtney Love finishes rehab, gets clean slate.
• Tori Spelling will be bringing a boy into the world to torment you with.
• Nikki Finke tells you which critics' picks you can ignore.
We're not usually the type of blog to offer celebrity sightings, but this one struck us:
George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh were dining at the Post House restuarant tonight (Wednesday). They were discussing and laughing about the movie Brokeback Mountain. George Clooney offered his stool to an attractive blonde who was at the bar. He was a real gentleman. Clooney was also commenting on what a great job Daniel Craig did in the lastest Bond Movie Casino Royale.
Just to sum up: People's Sexiest man and perennial "bachelor" George Clooney chuckling over gay love flick Brokeback Mountain and then admiring Daniel Craig's quads in Caisno Royale.
• Jessica Biel is Derek Jeter's new beard.
• The Devil Wears Prada TV producers shadowing Marie Claire editor Joanna Coles might need to find a new personality to follow.
• Michael Jackson indeed showed at the World Music Awards, but he didn't fail not to disappoint. Meanwhile, his rider demands put sister Janet's to shame.
• People magazine names George Clooney the sexiest man alive. Isaiah Washington has one more reason to laugh at Patrick Dempsey.
• Rachael Ray faces her first sex scandal, adds EVOO.
• Sacha Baron Cohen sits for an interview that doesn't involve the words "sexy time" or "vagine."
• Complex magazine finds somebody to lead them into the future. We can't really say how long that future will be, but, at least they have a leader. [NYO]
• George Clooney is making everyone in Hollywood sweat. And they aren't scared or turned on … they're just really, really, hot. [Defamer]
• Just like the rest of us, Paris Hilton drinks her margaritas one schwill at a time. And no matter how much head she offers, when she drives hammered, she get charged with DUI's. Mostly so they can make an example out of her. [TMZ]
• Not only is Arianna Huffington starting up a new, sharp-tongued, site, but it even has a launch date pegged to it. If you consider "November" a date. [FBNY]
• And Maxim also hires two. One from House & Garden. We hope she likes beer bongs more than rubber clogs. [Gawker]
• No, Oprah will not be president, and neither will George Clooney. Can Democrats please get their shit together and just try to focus on finding a candidate that actually wants to run the country? [AP]
• Cigarettes aren't food? But, wait — what? Seriously? [Lowdown]
• If Ashlee Simpson can see her parents' house from her house, we assume Joe Simpson spends his day taking paparazzi photos into her bedroom window. [Mollygood]
• Lindsay Lohan's super plan to get her man back totally blew up in her face. A lesson to all girls everywhere: making out with Paris Hilton's ex is not the best way to get boys to like you. [Page Six]
• Sumner Redstone will be making $1 million a year instead of $1.75 million a year. What a truly humbling sacrifice. [NYT]
• Here are 15 of the New York Post's 25 Sexiest New Yorkers. We guess those tens we slipped Col Allen last week weren't enough to get us on the list. [NYP]
• Life & Style launched their celeb tabloid blog under the direction of Dorothy Cascerceri. Noelle Hancock was last seen polishing her boxing gloves. [L&S]
• Maybe George Clooney should lay off Bruce Willis. At least Bruce's kids are legit. [Gatecrasher]
• Rich people are furious over of the threat of roasting meat infiltrating their neighborhood. Don't you know how hard it is to starve yourself when they're a pig spinning on a pit outside your house? [NYM]
• Why doesn't Tom Cruise just take the award? It's probably the last one he'll ever get. [People]
• A supermodel turned actress has an image problem … go figure. We just can't help but wonder what “nonsubstance-related addiction” she has? [Gatecrasher]
• We just never thought Bruce Springsteen would end up one of those "marriage on the rocks" rockers. [Page Six]
• Malaria, food poisoning … whatever. George Clooney lost weight. We don't need to hear the details. [Page Six]
• Do you really need the New York Times to tell you Narciso Rodriguez is the bomb? [MSNBC]
• Ok. Who helped Paris Hilton hack into Lindsay Lohan's cell phone? You know the bitch didn't figure it out on her own. [Us]
Aww — with all this hubbub over Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s baby, we forgot that Matt Damon and what’s her face were expecting a kid, too. Well, today, the second hottest couple in Hollywood just welcomed their little baby girl to the world.
Damon's wife Luciana gave birth in a Miami hospital on Sunday to Isabella, the actor's publicist Jennifer Allen said. No other details were released.
"Mother and baby — everyone — is wonderful, fine," Allen said here Monday.
Now Brad and Matt's gals can grow up together like good little Hollywood spawn. It almost makes us feel worse for George Clooney's 20 illegitimate kids who will never get to roll with them.
• Al Gore gets in a huge fake fight with Lindsay Lohan … but that's all we know. Nikki Finke turned off the TV just before Al threatened to get nekked. [LA Weekly]
• The crazy Canadians use photos of George Clooney and Orlando Bloom to encourage women to spread their legs. [FMT]
• Note to Rocco DiSpirito: putting a book by your night stand is not equivilant to reading. [R&M]
• A fake Jimmy Buffett is on the loose in the Hamptons, conning clam shakers out of their hard earned … clams … and getting 40 year old tennis moms to get parrot tattoos on their cleavage. [Page Six]
• Ah, Newsday. Always bringing us the news we're dying to know, such as "what are the cast members of Beverly Hills 90210 are doing now?" That's right, kids — absolutely nothing. [Newsday]
• Star boasts its undying faith in Nick Lachey, while Jossip boasts our undying ability to make a punchline out of him as often as possible. [Star]
• Now that George Clooney has an Oscar, he doesn't need your lame accolades. [AP News]
• Is Page Six trying to kill us with this stuff? "Picture Donald Trump in a kilt." Uh, thanks, we'll pass. [Page Six]
• The better headline for this would read, "Instead of growing old gracefully, these women are doing it with botox and face lifts galore." That being said, Happy Birthday Cher. You look just as plasticy as your doll. [NYDN]
• Those stretch marks prove nothing, Katie "Kate" Holmes. Just show us the baby already. [Defamer]
• Christina Aguilera admits that wearing clothing "makes her feel uncomfortable." [Sun]
• George Clooney's trash is Jeremy Piven's treasure. Is this one staying in Vegas? [Page Six]
• The golden rule of tabloid gossip is broken — Anthony Pellicano's tapes reveal rag sources, and dishers are named. Hmm, wonder why they say gossips have no ethics? [Lowdown]
• Nicole Kidman feels connected to her adopted children's birth parents. "We're just a big, strange family." Yeah, we doubt those people want any part of Tom Cruise's big strange anything. [People]
• Coyotes should have Mischa Barton and Rachel Bilson's leftovers for dinner. In fact, they should just have Mischa and Rachel for dessert, too. [3am]
• Keith Richards will not need surgery. Drugs, old age, falling from a coconut tree … the guy is frggin' immortal. Or maybe he's already dead and just a zombie? [Billboard]
• Just like they will never realize George Clooney is not a member of the media, people may never realize that Bono isn't a real politician. [Guardian]
• Flea doesn't know about the legal specs of downloading, but if you're downloading his album he doesn't think you're very nice. [Spin]
• Fall Out Boy does not want racist or homophobic fans. Oh, Pete Wentz, you get more publicity by pulling down your pants. [MTV]
At this year's White House Correspondents Dinner, many attempts at humor were successful.
Well, at least they succeeded in distracting the media and the public from the current state of our country. Ha, ha — that's hilarious!
Seriously, as wonderful as is to see that George W. Bush can make fun of himself almost as much as we do, and that Stephen Colbert is still ripping on the President's relationship with the media, things still feel more or less … glossed over? And an intro line in the New York Times like "It was love at first sight" under a monkey-suited Dubya staring longingly at the image of another him only further muddles the conflicts between the press and the government.
As the 2,500-plus guests at the annual event know, by tradition the president is supposed to make fun of himself in an effort to establish his regular-guy credentials and ingratiate himself with the press.
With his approval ratings in the mid-30's and a White House beset by troubles, there is some evidence that Mr. Bush worked harder on his performance this year than in the past.
Just what we need to be focusing on right now — Bush's regular-guy "performance" acted out with the intention of sweetening up reporters and faux media member George Clooney. Whatever, we'll be over it in like 20 minutes. But when the government claims ownership of the news media a'la Vladimir Putin, we hope everyone remembers the good old days when we sat around and laughed at our President's insolence and Jossip said "we told you it's not that funny."
A New Set of Bush Twins Appear at Annual Correspondents' Dinner [Elisabeth Bumiller, New York Times]
Colbert Lampoons Bush at White House Correspondents Dinner — President Not Amused? [Editor & Publisher]
Cocktail Chatter With Clooney, Plame, Snow at D.C. Bash [Editor & Publisher]
Earlier: White House Correspondents Dinner Correspondence
• The least surprising news of the day: Mario Batali's less loved restaurant is officially on the block. [NYT]
• A lightbulb shattered into Teri Hatcher’s eye. Yeah, whatev, she totally needs a lift anyways. [AP]
• Michelle Rodriguez doesn't really "do" community service. [AP]
• Is Kelly Conlin's apartment the reason Primedia went under? [Footnoted]
• Andy Dick steals beers from a gay bar, gropes a girl, and yells at a bartender. Wait, he has a kid? [Queerty]
• The Today show rolls over for George Clooney and his Darfur trip. See, if they'd shown the part where he visits Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and they all tlk about the baby and how much they hate Jennifer Aniston, then we might watch. [NBCU]
• Melissa Joan Hart (yes, that Melissa Joan Hart) celebrated her 30th birthday last night at Happy Valley where, we're told, she kicked off her Tribeca Film Festival media blitz with class: She was the one handing out promo cards to guests for Mute, which debuts today.
Editorial Director
