These days it's clearer than ever: loyalty and Hollywood go together like boxing gloves and telephones.
Now that we in the Western World are eating fish skeletons out of the garbage like the Heathcliff of world powers, too poor to lavish celebrities with sufficient amounts of money and gifts, our disappointed stars are turning their rhinoplastied noses eastward, to the mysterious, exciting, oil-rich Orient. In Dubai, where oil barons mingle with Russian gangsters in $1,500 shoes, the money flows as plentifully as the region's largest export. And just like that, our celebrities are taking their balls and going to the UAE!
Tonight's American Idol finale, where David Archuleta will, we're imagining, ultimately be named the season's winner, will also feature secret special guest star George Michael, who will perform. [E!] Earlier this week,
producer Nigel Lythgoe refused to say who would be the closer's big ticket item, but insisted he was the “biggest star in the world." Uh huh. While Michael might be just fine for the audiences of Eli Stone, where he music graces each episode (or at least each episode title), on Idol, he will join esteemed names including Andrew Lloyd Webber as those who Idol's audience has absolutely zero idea who they are.
George Michael may have finally put all those drug and solicitation scandals behind him: Dude is back in action! Thanks in no small part to ABC's Eli Stone, the Wham! singer is suddenly a sought-after commodity again. Cleaned up and clean(er) shaven, Michael is guest starring on the show, where he'll be performing, which of course is tantamount to snagging some free advertising for … his new $19.99 2-CD box-set that went on sale Tuesday. To be sure, it's only moved 31,000 copies so far, but he's got a summer tour lined up, which means he's shockingly on a road to career resuscitation faster than a certain pop tart.
• Lindsay Lohan was reportedly drunk and coked out of her mind when she crashed her car onto an oncoming curb. Hello, Lynwood!
• Most people who enjoy dirty, men's lavatory sex might periodically get tested for HIV, but then again, George Michael isn't most people.
• A picture is worth a 1000 words, which is why these snapshots (of 100% drug-free Paris Hilton lighting up a doobie) are the photographic equivalent of "Finnegan's Wake."
• Britney Spears denies Cyndi Lauper the pleasure of seeing her inadvertently exposed breast "slip out" during the True Colors concert.
• Apparently, not everyone agrees with our assessment that Sporty is the hottest Spice.
• It's a good thing George Michael smokes pot. Otherwise, he'd be, y'know, crazy. [Reuters]
• Rhymefest hasn't sold a million records, but for some reason he's only rapper intelligent enough to go talk to British politicians. [NME]
• Brooke Hogan's album, like everything else in her life, sucks. [AP]
• Some were under the impression all death-metal bands loved and supported one another. Like some kind of cow-sacrificing, evil worshipping, support group. [Idolator]
• The weird couple of the year award, if it's true, would go to Lance Armstrong and Ivanka Trump. In an off-beat way, though, it actually kind of makes sense. [Page Six]
• How brave is Derek Blasberg? Seriously. He braved rain and cold to get to SoHo Grand's 10th birthday party. After four hours of drinking free champagne he had to take a ferry. Man. What a trooper. [FWD]
• When we saw that Martha Stewart was getting "a hip replacement" we thought they were looking for a younger, hotter homemaker to host her show. But the rumor is that her actual hip bone may need to be replaced. Just to clarify. [Lowdown]
• Somehow, miraculously, Katie Holmes manage to shed all her fake baby weight in like five minutes. [Scoop]
• Isn't this exactly how they found George Michael last time he was arrested on drug charges? Maybe he should try being a bit more well-rested before sparkin' a doobie. [AP]
• Sometimes at night the RZA cuddles next to his wife, and listens to the sweet soothing voice of Russel Crowe. Yup. Seriously. [NYM]
• Of course Paul McCartney is fine. He’s not the one trying to scale over his ex’s front gates. [Y!]
• To the disappointment of many, Ludacris no longer wants to choke the crap out of Oprah. We are totally ready to sic him on Nancy Grace. [AOL]
• It really is good to see George Michael again. Instead of, y’know, inappropriately touching other guys in public bathrooms. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Eva Longoria tops Maxim's top 100 list for the 100th time in a row. Ok, the second time, but it's sure starting to feel that way. [AP]
• So many young Hollywood celebrities showed up for Joe Francis' birthday party. And something about video cameras on the roller coasters? [Star]
• George Michael. Falls asleep. At the wheel. Again. [Queerty]
• High school prep kids everywhere are rejoicing over Jay McInerny's stupidity. He made a kid sit in a jet bathroom for God's sake. [R&M]
• Mickey Rourke gets his kicks by watching his Bungalow 8 friends beat up random people. [Page Six]
• Matching Cartier Love bracelets?! Awww. It almost makes us forget the Today show attack now that Katie Holmes and Brooke Shields are BFFs. [The Scoop]
• Turning 64 is as good as butta'. Barbra Streisand, today (like every other one) is your day! [Perez Hilton]
• Russell Simmons and Nick Lachey are in a competition to see who can sleep with the most women before his divorce is finalized. [Page Six]
• Rappers tell kids to be careful with their spending. No additional commentary needed. [ABC]
• First we had the list of worst albums ever. But now we have something even better — "The 50 Worst Things Ever to Happen to Music" according to Blender. [Mirror]
• It seems that George Michael's pot smoking has done wonders for his ticket sales. [Mirror]
• Does the news that Madonna will be performing at Coachella get your leotard all up in a bunch? Chill, we're sure there's plenty of oxygen to go around. [MTV]
• The Smithsonian recently announced an upcoming exhibit on hip-hop, including relics and iconic pieces from the genre's history. And a shrine to hip-hops greatest mistake: Kevin Federline. [AP]
• Aw, how cute. George Michael watching the Pulp Fiction TBS marathon last weekend. [R&M]
• Because music bloggers had no friends in high school they have to form exclusive clubs based on obscure music groups. (You know these kids. They have 598 MySpace friends and they're all bands.) [Brooklyn Vegan]
One minute he's driving along, hopped up on class-C drugs, and the next minute, WHAM!, George Michael is found slumped over the steering wheel of his car.
The 80's pop star was arrested Sunday in the Hyde Park area of London for "suspicion of possessing Class C drugs," which in Britain could mean weed, tranquilizers and types of painkillers.
“We were called by a member of the public to a man seen slumped over the steering wheel of a car,†the statement said. “He was arrested on suspicion of possession of controlled substances.â€
Apparently in Britain, you can't take percocet and pass out in your car, but doing lines in a public club is no big deal at all. Especially if you're a supermodel and your drug habit is caught on video, while your skirt is hiked up to your crotch.
Editorial Director
