Warning: watching following clip of Diane Keaton cursing on Good Morning America may destroy all your morality.

While Good Morning America scored a sit down with Katie Holmes on Monday, Diane Sawyer's refusal to ask any questions about, um, SCIENTOLOGY, makes its softball interview look like a steaming pile of PR-friendly crap next to Today anchor Meredith Vieira's chat this morning with Tom Cruise unauthorized biographer Andrew Morton.

While GMA executive producer Jim Murphy claims there was no contract in place that kept them from asking the hard questions in exchange for access to Holmes, few believe their story. (For his part, Murphy claims it was he who ended the interview early, angering Sawyer who didn't get a chance to get to the tough Qs. Take one for the team!)

Morton's book – which isn't being published in England, Australia, and New Zealand because of stringent libel laws – received the expected level of criticism from the Church of Scientology. It also received a skeptic's view from Meredith, who challenged Morton's claims that Cruise is the "de facto" second-in-command, that daughter Suri is the spawn of L. Ron Hubbard, or that Tom Cruise is "dangerous" (a statement he backtracked on in the interview). What's this? Not accepting someone's statements at face value! Tres nouveau!

After the jump, the full video of Tom Cruise's Scientology video that got some of this buzz going.

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Upset that ABC's Good Morning America scored an exclusive interview with Barack Obama, CBS producers at The Early Show decided to tout their own Obama access and aired their interview with the presidential hopeful during the same timeslot yesterday.

Except the interview CBS broadcasttook place last month, before the Iowa caucuses, while Diane Sawyer's EXCLUSIVE!!! sitdown was, shall we say, more recent. GMA's reaction to TES's move? "Cheesy."

Making things more interesting, however, is the incestuousness of TV: Current Early Show executive producer Shelley Ross was the executive producer of GMA from 2000-04. Girl know how to play dirty against sitting GMA chief Jim Murphy. Insipid, sure, but brilliant.

CBS has named Maggie Rodriguez co-anchor of the Early Show. She joins Harry Smith (a white guy) and Julie Chen (an Asian woman).

While Americans like their evening news from old, white men, they appreciate diversity in the morning. The Today Show features a black guy and a half Asian woman; Good Morning America has a gay guy (Sam Champion, duh) and a black woman.

Congratulations on the new gig, Maggie. But the sad truth is that CBS could feature a live sex show every morning, and The Today Show would maintain its streak at number one.

As Bob Woodruff makes strides in his health after the incident in Iraq last year, his wife is making strides in her career.

The former P.R. rep, freelance writer (and first billed author of a memoir she co-wrote with her husband) has reportedly landed a deal at Good Morning America as their life and family contributor and will begin appearing on the show this week.

Congratulations, Lee! We’ll leave it at that, however, since there's apparently no way to discuss the incident in Iraq and her new gig in the same sentence without coming off as either mean or weirdly optimistic. Or both.

In honor of the six-year anniversary of 9/11, GMA anchor Chris Cuomo heads to Pakistan to "bring viewers reports on the ongoing hunt for Osama bin Laden and the continuing war on terror." Really, has it been six years already? Wow…sounds like that hunt's been going pre-tty well. [TVNewser]

• Whoever is doing Keith Olbermann’s make-up and teeth whitening, please stop.

• The White House press correspondents are annoyed that the President keeps arranging his “surprise” photo-ops at the last minute.

• Halle Berry is either chubby or pregnant. Underneath all that fat is a baby.

• CBS remains desperate for a top ranked news show; taps Good Morning America’s Shelley Ross to produce the Early Show.

• Larry Craig’s kids would never go all Republican Party on their dad.

• BTdub, there is a giant hole in Union Square.

With NBC's Today show makes headlines with its coming fourth hour – launching a week from today with Ann Curry, Natalie Morales, and Hoda Kotb hosting – and CBS's The Early Show snaps up Shelley Ross to exec produce, ABC's Good Morning America doesn't want to be left out of the press cheers. So they're launching an additional hour, except just like ABC News Now, few will be watching it. That's because GMA's third hour will be available only on the web under the name Good Morning America Now. (You'd be correct in sensing a "Now" theme for ABC's web ops.)

At the helm is Chris Cuomo, the much-maligned TV superstar hopeful whose credentials were put in serious doubt ever since one-time cheerleader Diane Sawyer stopped backing him.

Oh, and naturally, ABC's decision to create its third hour of programming came, according GMA Now's exec producer Jessica Stedman Guff,, "independently" of NBC's trumped up broadcast.

Breast cancer fighter and GMA anchor Robin Roberts owes you one for being so supportive. Also: "Early detection" is her eighth rule about staying healthy? [ABC]

I never thought I'd be writing this. … I have breast cancer.

So in the coming months, you will probably notice that I will have my good days and my bad days, but I know I will get through it with the love and support of my family and friends…

To you, our viewers, please know that your thoughts and prayers very much sustain me as they always have each and every morning when I sit in the chair next to Diane and say "Good Morning America." You have always been there for me … and I love you back.

–ABC's Robin Roberts announces that she has breast cancer and is seeking treatment, attributes her discovery of the disease to her longtime friend/colleague, Joel Siegel [via ABC]

He was a gladiator—brave, wildly funny, passionate about Dylan, Ena and his family—and completely in love with every new day. Film critic may have been his job description — what he really did was tell us about the wonder and heartbreak of life.

The wonder was to know him. The heartbreak, today.

All of us love Joel . Present tense. Without end.

–Diane Sawyer pays tribute to her friend Joel Siegel, who lost a long battle to colon cancer on Friday at the age of 63. [via E! News]

A.J. Dunleavy, a former ABC temp, is being fingered as the man responsible for the anthrax-y envelope sent to Good Morning America's token gay Sam Champion. Police are said to be questioning the alleged sender, whose not-so-brilliant return address capabilities helped track him down.

Meanwhile, some quick Redbull-in-the-morning-fueled research fingers this guy's Bebo.com profile as a possible "A.J. Dunleavy" candidate. A glance around reveals he's engaged and obsessed with Hunter S. Thompson and Gonzo journalism, which is the style, we imagine, he'd like his story to be told.

• Verbal grudge-match heats up between staffers at the Today show and Good Morning America, yielding doozies such as "Gay-MA" and "Today? More like 'Yesterday.'" Zing!

• Scooter Libby might actually go to prison. Fortunately for him, Paris has made it "all the rage."

• Did Departures magazine play too prominent a role in the episode leading up to The Sopranos' departure?

• 'Eric Alterman is the aging-lefty Lindsay Lohan!' proclaims Lloyd Grove in New York magazine. And here we thought Lloyd was an aging-lefty unemployed gossip gossip columnist.

• Boston Globe rips Conservapedia a new one.

• Hillary Clinton stops by Skadden Arps. Relax, it was nothing litigious—she was probably just picking up her latest truckload of campaign donations.

"He kind of gave me the news in cowardly installments," is how Dina McGreevey describes the coming out process of her soon-to-be ex-husband and Gay American Jim McGreevey on today's Oprah (tune in! ABC! 4pm!). That is, when he asked her to wear a football helmet and pads during sex, he didn't just blurt out "and by the way, I'm a homo!" like normal married couples.

The Big O, who scored an exclusive sit-down with Jim last fall, is the first to land a sit-down with wifey, whose new book Silent Partner is, conveniently, hitting bookstore shelves today.

But Oprah's dealings aren't stopping Good Morning America's Diane Sawyer from letting the good times keep rolling. She's invited Dina to come by tomorrow at 9am to tape a segment to further promote her book dish more on her failed marriage. But audience members are in for a special treat: We hear producers are planning an "interactive" segment.

In an email sent out yesterday, a GMA producer asked her contact list to submit names – "your moms, aunts, friends, neighbors?" – who are "well-spoken, outgoing women of diverse backgrounds, ages, marital status, religions, who would be part of an interactive audience."

Because the last thing this segment needs are a bunch of white ladies nodding along to Dina's tribulations. Black faces are needed, too. They know about dudes on the downlow.

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• PRWeek is not a fan of the RTCA Dinner. Possibly because they failed to properly appreciate MC Rove. Probably because they think it's a conflict of interest for journalists and politicians sing, dance and jump in bed together.

• Is the Today show squandering its once massive lead over Good Morning America? 'Yes!" says Page Six. 'No!" says last week's ratings.

• CNN's American Morning will continue to be a "no glitz, no glamour" (and, presumably, "no viewer) operation.

• Meanwhile, Miles O'Brien looks forward to life outside "an air-conditioned studio" while his replacement, John Roberts insists, "I don't think [AM] has to be hard news like you're taking Robitussin."

• NBC renews 30 Rock for another season, gives Tracy Morgan something to do in between binge-drinking and hitting the strip joints.

When we're not talking about Charlie Gibson creeping up on Brian Williams, our other favorite television industry topic – besides guessing where NY1's Roger Clark will show up next – has to be the ratings race among the morning shows. Today, Television Week's Michele Greppi has us make a fist as she slides the needle of executive quotables into our elbow crease.

• "The fact that we haven't lost a viewer since last year to me is very promising." — Good Morning America senior executive producer Jim Murphy
• "We are getting viewers the Today show is losing" — CBS morning programming VP Steve Friedman

And then there's NBC.

• "We still have our gap intact." —Today show exec producer Jim Bell

That's so funny, 'cause NBC Nightly News producer John Reiss was just telling us the same thing. And then.

Exclusive

Lisa Sharkey once held an enviable dayjob at Good Morning America, where she played senior producer (and professional faster … 82 days!). That was until her bosses discovered she was using her business card's pedigree to do some Star Jonesing: snag free products, services, and tickets from anyone looking for a chance to get booked on GMA.

She was, as they say, dismissed.

Following her ouster, Sharkey landed, in July 2005, at Al Roker Productions, the producing arm of the Today show weatherman that spits out programming for the Food Network and Court TV.

Only thing: She carried her trademark swag grabbing over to Roker's biz. And, according to a source with direct knowledge of the matter, "Roker didn't like hearing back from folks that Sharkey was threatening to withhold business unless they gave her stuff." So what did the weatherman do? He fired her, natch. That was at the end of last year.

Now we hear Sharkey (pictured at right, with TV producer Rebecca Shalam) is trying to get back into the morning show game, putting out feelers to anyone who will take her calls — and, she's hoping, doesn't know her reputation. Except she already burned her bridges at ABC with her GMA stint, and Roker's strong ties with NBC means the door is shut there, too, says our source.

So what's left? The Early Show on CBS, the daddy of Sharkey's old haunt, KCBS, where she landed her first job before ending up at Inside Edition.

We're told she's "in talks" with CBS about possible employment, but so far it's unclear whether exec producer Michael Bass knows Sharkey is the Winona Ryder of morning TV. That might not go over well with HR.

Image via NYSD

Remember Jennifer Mee? You know, that girl who can't stop hiccuping, much to the delight of exploitative morning show producers everywhere?

Well, as you may recall, Today was fortunate enough to "scoop" the competition by landing an exclusive sit-down with a hopelessly hiccuping Jennifer. But now word comes that top competitor, Good Morning America, refused to go down without a fight.

The competition for her story became so frenzied over the weekend that NBC's Today show changed Jennifer and her mother's New York hotel after another network's exhaustive attempts to get an interview.

Representatives from ABC's Good Morning America called Jennifer's home 57 times on Sunday and slipped notes under her hotel room door, her family said.

They called Jennifer's home 57 times. In a single day.

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For ABC News, it was a scene out of, well, ABC News: a news anchor at the center of an IED attack in Iraq.

First there was Bob Woodruff – recovering from shrapnel-laced injuries and on his way to hosting a special – and now there's Good Morning America punching bag Chris Cuomo.

Despite the rib kicks we've delivered to Cuomo in the past, we're happy to report that he's doing just fine and is uninjured after his Humvee entourage sustained a roadside bomb explosion. He was joined by ABC photographer Bartley Price, who is also doing well. (Some of the soldiers with him "suffered minor injuries.")

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Breaking: Straight from the land of Unconfirmedville, we're hearing word from inside ABC that Diane Sawyer might be leaving ABC's Good Morning America.

For HBO.