ENJOYING YOUR DESK JOB? "Parks & Recreation will provide sleds and hot chocolate at selected locations across the city, while Urban Park Rangers lead nature walks and teach revelers how to find animal prints in the snow." [Gothamist]

EVEN COWBOYS GET THE BLUES The Naked Cowboy is suing Mars for their "Naked M&M" ad in Times Square. The real cowboy claims the anthropomorphic one is infringing on his trademark of making an ass of himself in Times Square. He wants $6 million, but would probably settle for much, much less. As the tourists say, "Only in New York!" [Gothamist]

We were all about Clap Your Hands Say Yeah back when they became an internet sensation in 2005. Two and a half years and a million other next big things later, we still dig them. Every so often we'll see a member of the band jogging around Prospect Park or getting on the train at 7th Avenue and Flatbush. The brush with low-level fame makes us feel so self-righteously Brooklyn that we briefly consider a move to Astoria.

Whether you think CYHSY is overhyped or that they were deserving of all that praise, you must admit, they give bad interview.

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• Hillary Clinton as Tracy Flick? Yeah, we could see that.

• Speaking of Hill, the ex-first lady will appear on Tyra on Friday. Wonder what vote she's going after …

• A Williamsburg meat hole closes, and Gothamist has the best headline: "Pies 'n' Thighs Goes Tits Up."

CONTINUED »

Below are the top news stories on Gothamist right now. Maybe the suburbs aren't so bad after all.

Say what you will about Gothamist—their punctuation stinks, they cater to hipsters, they’re too heartfelt to blog—but they really do love this city. And so do we.

So when we were invited to the Gothamist holiday party yesterday, we didn’t just think, “sweet, free drinks.” We thought, “Jen Chung in the flesh? Sign us up!”

With Gothamist throwing the party, we figured the location would something New York magazine hadn’t written up yet, but would very soon. Actually, it was at Ideya, a place so established it has its own website. The bar was a sentimental pick: Jen Chung had her first date with her husband, whom she met online, there.

CONTINUED »

Here's an old joke: A man's talking to a woman, and asks, "Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?" The woman, replies, "Of course." So the man says, "Okay, what about one dollar?" and the woman says, "What kind of woman do you take me for?" The man responds, "Madam, we've already determined what you are, now we're just negoitating the price."

We kind of feel the same way about this clip of women pole dancing on the subway. Apparently they did it to win a $10,000 dare. Either way, they're still strippers. [Gothamist]

Especially if you’re paying $13.69 for a six-pack of Bud. [Gothamist]

• Time Out! Micky Rourke is screaming things like "fag" and "deformed douchebag." [Queerty]

• Gothamist is now chronicling every shooting, every fire, and every pedestrian hit by a cab with their real-time mapping technology. If you're bored … laughing at people getting stabbed is always entertaining. [Gothamist]

• The most frightening thing about Brooklyn? The squirrels that will attack your garden. And the fascinating microcosm that erupts when New Yorkers get two square feet of space they call a "yard." [NYT]

• Right here in New York, on Good Morning America, Mark Foley inadvertently called himself a "creepy old guy." Kind of makes Lloyd Grove look a little less COG-y. [Lowdown]

• Nobody told Michael Musto that Avalon closed down? Shame, shame. [Musto]

The Los Angeles Times is getting interactive with readers, introducing a new feature to their site, LATimes.com called Your Scene. It's where readers send in photos of random stuff they're doing.

Late yesterday, Jossip received a little promo email for the new feature.

Show us who you are and how you live.
Log on today to upload photos, create you own album
and vote for your favorite images.

It's easy and fun, so take a shot.

So, of course we went to check it out. We are just so fascinated by how those other people out in L.A. live. And what, you ask, did we find? There are eight wedding photos, 179 gardening pictures, and (jackpot!) 233 pictures of crazy people's cats.

If only New York had a site like this. You know, just a page full of random photos and stuff about the city like bands, restaurants, and cats and stuff.

Your Scene [LA Times]

Thank you to Gothamist for pointing us towards the latest development in the fight to spread HPV — the Internet bartender stalker site, ny-hottoddies.com.

The website helps desperados stalk Lower East Side bartenders who will they have a shot at going home with. Little "reviews" of the guys accompany the photo and location of the dudes. Ok, even Intern Zack is a little creeped out, describing the site as "perfect for those skeevy girls that love going home at 5am with bartenders. I think this just disturbs me greatly more than anything else."

While Jake Dobkin gives the site a semi-raving review, we think this is probably the most skanked out thing we've ever seen. Not to mention (and no offense guys but) the guys on the map are nothing outrageous. But, we've pulled from featured "Toddy" Lukus' write-up, just for kicks.

If you were in the desert feeling hot and thirsty and you saw this Toddie at the bar, you would think Lukus was a tall glass of cool water… by the time we got one & one on one of our “research” nights (aka: trolling for Toddies) we were too drunk & full of pasties from the tuck shop to fully interact and engage in conversation with him … the next morning when we saw the pictures of him we were very, very happy indeed. And that is a good, good thing for both blurry, drunken, and hung-over eyes.

Our response? "Put down the cocktails and close your legs for five minutes before Jason Horowitz gets inspired to make this next week's column."

Map of the Day: Hot Bartenders in LES [Jake Dokin, Gothamist]
Hot Toddies [NY-Hot Toddies]