• Amy Winehouse drinks two bottles of Spanish red wine, a case of lager, a fifth of vodka, and smokes two packs of ciggies before every show. True story.

• Chris Rock plays the "nappy-headed ho" card. What, too soon?

• In surprising news, John Gotti's grandkids prove to be the epitome of understated class. We're kidding, they're hateful brats, of course.

• It's Good Luck Chuck versus the late John Lennon. Naturally, our money's on The Walrus.

• Judge Larry Seidlin (best known for his repeated emotional breakdowns throughout the Anna Nicole Smith trial) steps down from the bench, explaining "there's no point in making a mockery of the courtoom when there's nobody around to watch."

• Is Angelina Jolie "the best woman in the world?" Or is she simply the hottest?

• At least Lindsay Lohan's rep, uber-publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnik, had the balls to admit her client was duped into some phone flirtation (and nearly meeting up at Bungalow 8) with a fake Jason Lewis. But let's just be honest here: Lindsay doesn't care that the Sex and the City star is already dating Rosario Dawson. [Lowdown]

• Kanye West isn't as will to support the gay minority as he is the black minority. While he's fine wailing on President Bush for his oppressive policies, the rapper isn't ready to step up for the homos — but thanks to his interior decorator, he's learning to see the light. [Lowdown]

• Ever since Kate Moss' cocaine dust up, ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty has been dodging press reports as well. But the bad karma has reached Hedi Slimane, who canned full publication of a Doherty photo book. Though his camp claims the 750 copy initial printing was all that was ever intended. Sure. [Radar]

• Peter Braunstein's frightening emails to the ladies of media are so profane that the NYPD's email filters have kept authorities from circulating them, forcing them to resort to – gasp! – faxing them around. [Lowdown]

• VH1's Ant almost got exterminated by Victoria Gotti. After he compared her son Carmine's crooning to a cat being stuck in a muffler during a taping of But Can They Sing?, mommy Victoria was ready to squash him — though producers managed to have him escorted by security. [Page Six]

• Kate Moss Watch&trade: Things are looking up for Kate. First Cavalli and now the 2006 calendar by Pirelli, who was among the first to defend her cocaine cause. Things are looking up for buyers, too: Flip to May for a topless Moss shot. [The Sun]

• More evidence that Al Reynolds is just a puppet that Star Jones wields: No matter where he is, the pose never changes. [Cityrag]

• Snoop Dogg is planning to attend a rally at a prison to protest the execution of former gang leader, Stanley Tookie Williams. Snoop also requested a visit with Williams but got denied entrance into the facility, thus securing his place as the first black man trying to get in to prison. [NME]

• Irv and Christopherr Gotti's Murder Inc. money laundering trial started yesterday in Brooklyn — and Ja Rule and Ashanti were on hand to show their support of the Gottti's. And, of course, to get their names in the news for the first time in years. [VH1]

• The Kaiser Chiefs have cancelled upcoming shows after contracting a "highly contagious and rare virus." The band hasn't released any details about their mystery disease, but if its this bird flu everyone's talking about, they should probably keep out of the States for a while. [Aversion]

• Walk the Line director James Mangold just remembered that Johnny Cash was "thrilled" to be played by Joaquin Phoenix. It seems likely that in his final weeks, soon after losing the love of his life, these are the sorts of things that were on Cash's mind. [MTV]

• Stateside success is no longer "in Robbie Williams' schedule." Yes, and enjoying your music certainly isn't in ours. [Billboard]

• Aaron Carter is shopping around for a new record label, after "getting screwed" by the one he has been with since he was 7. Ugh, is this even music news? [Lowdown]

• Conde Nast is reorganizing itself at 4 Times Square, shuffling around all its publication divisions to fall under just one umbrella: the aptly titled Conde Nast Publications. And that big bubble will have, uh, seven smaller bubbles.

• D'Angelo – who's kinda not famous anymore and wouldn't even be on our radar if it weren't for his abs (which, uh, he let go) – is in a Virginia hospital with serious injuries after he crashed his SUV through a fence and was ejected from the car. No, he wasn't wearing a seat belt, and yes, he's been arrested for coke. Wait, that's not related? UPDATE: Says his rep: "D'Angelo is home and doing well. He is anxious to finish the recording of his soul masterpiece that the world has patiently awaited. His spirit is very positive and he is blessed that the accident was not fatal."

• While Fernando Ferrer visits church after church, Mayor Bloomberg is hitting up Jewapalooza and handing the Dalai Lama a key to the city.

• FishBowlNY sent some snappers to document The Devil Wears Prada's shoot, where Luigi Tadini can almost be seen in Adrian Grenier's shots.

• John "Junior" Gotti is out on $7 million bail, thanks to a bond deal partially secured by sister Victoria's reality TV-famous Long Island manse.

• After Page Six spread word that Dr. Phil (who earns at least $15 million per year) was paying his transcibers just $7 an hour, he bumped it up a whole buck to $8!

• Big Pussy pleads guilty! Actor Vincent Pastore decided to take a deal when it came to charges he assaulted a former girlfriend. The actor has a bigger concern, anyway: He can no longer due nude scenes thanks to emergency triple bypass surgery.

"Mother" just seems so bland when "widow of mafia kingpin John Gotti and responsible for the mess that is Victoria Jr." could've been squeezed onto the Duet.

• It's time to disembark from hating on Gwenyth Paltrow for naming her daughter Apple — we've got bigger issues with Heidi Klum and Seal's naming abilities for their new son: Henry Guenther Ademola Dashtu Samuel. Somebody's going to have an ego complex.

• Somehow Sir Richard Branson think he's the one to de-snob the wine industry. This, coming from a man who balloons around the world for recreation.

• Victoria Gotti crashed the homecoming party of just-released Julius Nasso, who used to work for her father John. He's been trying to steer clear of his mob ties, but Victoria's on the hunt for anything that'll land her some press.

• Fashion editors didn't feel so worthy at Yigal Azrouel's fashion show on Saturday, thanks to clueless door minders who only recognized the socialites to let through the door but not the industry scribes.

• Even its executives grow exhausted from Richie Rich and Traver Rains. Top Heatherette exec Elissa Bromer ditched after six months on the job (and just days before their Bryant Park show), though rep Aimee Phillips says that's merely how long she was signed for.

• Martha Stewart's Martha debut faired better than The Tyra Banks Show, with a 2.4 household rating versus Tyra's 1.3. Though we're still going to harp on both.

• Like Milla Jovovich, we just hate it when we grab a size two by mistake.

When she's not spinning fake tales of breast cancer, Victoria Gotti is claiming she's the next Richard Desmond.

Even after the New York Post dropped her and she took a tumble at Star last year, Gotti claims she's ripe for the U.S. celebrity gossip biz and intends to start her own weekly glossy. Though there still aren't any details on who'll be publishing the title or investing the millions required to get it off the ground.

And then there's that little part about copyright infringement. Gotti's been talking up naming the pub Red Carpet Living. Only problem is, the name Red Carpet (once owned by Harvey Weinstein and Talk magazine) is now under the control of the folks at Bauer.

Though lately, the In Touch publisher is too busy trying to out-Wenner Jann Wenner, so perhaps this will fly under the radar. And if Gotti's latest Growing Up Gotti ratings tell any story, it's that Gotti is barely registering a blip.

• Victoria Gotti got checked on her breast cancer story, with her longtime publicist Matthew Rich quitting over Gotti's tall tale that was more publicity stunt for the third season of Growing Up Gotti than it was life threatening scare.

• Sharon Osbourne is being accused of orchestrating the pegging of Iron Maiden band members at Ozzfest. She supposedly encouraged Black Sabbath fans to chuck eggs and bottles at the rival band after lead singer Bruce Dickinson slammed metal singers who appear in reality shows.

• R. Kelly is confirmed to be part of this weekend's MTV VMA lineup despite his lingering statutory rape trial. He could deflect all that controversy by going all Britney-Madonna with an Usher smooch.

• Joe Francis' ex Tamara Mellon isn't through with the Girls Gone Wilder. She snuck into the private birthday party of current Francis fling Kimberly Stewart where Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan watched security drag has ass outside.

• Queen Latifah and David Bowie music producer Christian Julian Irwin has gone missing, but not before making a panicked phone call to a friend claiming he was being chased through a ravine.

• John "Junior" Gotti's racketeering and kidnapping trial begins today here in New York, bringing back the good old days of mafia crime defendants.

• Paula Abdul won't be appearing as a "roving correspondent" for Fox's So You Think You Can Dance after all. Even while her American Idol investigation rolls on, she'll be too busy wrapped up in promoting the show's DVD and preparing for the show's new season.

• Gawker claims Peter Jennings for New Yorkers, leaving plenty of Canadians ultimately confused. Oh, and this just in: Jennings was, uh, not really liked by colleagues. But they surely make good with their naked Heidi Klum shot.

• Pamela Anderson is getting sprayed with a lawsuit from United Licensing Group, the manufacturer of her perfume and clothing lines, for not making herself available for promotions.

• David Remnick looks like he'll be picking up Washington Post managing editor Steve Coll for his masthead-less masthead at the New Yorker, with the WaPo newsroom brewing substantiated rumors.

• Sequilogy (pause for collective "Huh?") wants the New York Post to stop gloating over its Martha Stewart extended house arrest story, since they got most of it wrong. That yoga class she attended was indeed for business purposes (she was researching a Sirius satellite show segment) and she knew her ankle bracelet-wearing days would go on longer than expected well before her birthday.

• Ted Turner is telling friends he'll step down from Time Warner's board as soon as the mega media company settles shareholder lawsuits stemming from the AOL merger. Chief Dick Parsons couldn't be happier.

• The Washington Post is v. sorry about that critical review of John Irving's Until I Find You, the 824-page novel. The critique was penned last month by Marianne Wiggins, who never reminded her editors that ex-husband Salman Rushdie was a friend of Irving.

• Primedia continues its property sale, unloading another item to Bruce Wasserstein. In 2003 it was New York magazine, now it's exciting B2B titles like Corn & Soybean Digest, Trusts & Estates and Wireless Review.