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Reports of the government opening free gas stations in poor areas are circulating around social media this morning, but appear to be a clever, satirical farce.

As the battle over Obamacare rages on, the administration is using a little known provision law to roll out a national free gas plan, The Daily Currant reports.

Allegedly, the White House using authority under the Affordable Care Act to “improve transportation routes to hospitals” to dispense gas free of cost.

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The $2 billion-a-year program aims to distribute 40 million gallons of free gasoline each year through 70 new gas stations constructed in major metro areas.

The Department of Health and Human Services (DHS) will be responsible for operating the network, whose first station opened yesterday in Detroit.

Supposedly. This is all but certainly an Onion-style farce. With quotes!

 

Explains Dori Salcido, assistant DHS secretary for public affairs:

“How are people supposed to get to the doctor’s office if they don’t have gas in the car? Health insurance is worthless if you can’t make your appointment.”

“This is not something we’re publicizing a lot, for obvious reasons … [but is] just another fine example of government stepping in and solving big problems.”

Although some developing oil-rich nations like Venezuela and Indonesia subsidize gas for the poor, the practice has never before been tried in the U.S.

Not everyone is a fan of the bogus program, predictably.

“So basically I’m punished for not living in the ghetto,” says Colin Blair, a resident of affluent Detroit suburb Farmington Hills. “I have three kids and a mortgage.”

“Life isn’t cheap. I could use some free gasoline too.”

Hilariously, “The stations have Obama campaign logo on them and giant photos of the president,” he says. “He’s trying to buy votes ahead of the midterm elections.”

“I’ve never been more scared for our democracy.”