There is plenty to pull from Glenn Beck's GQ interview. Lines like "The twelve years after high school were a blur of ambition, booze, weighty family responsibilities, pot, expensive cars, coke, workaholism, and dickish behavior" just roll off your tongue like pseudo-anti-Muslim does from his.

And then there are pullquote-ables like this:

One of the reasons he lives in Fairfield County, Connecticut, is that it’s out of reach of a nuclear explosion in Manhattan. It can be difficult, at times, to separate Beck’s shtick from his beliefs, but when he talks about World War III, he’s not demagoguing. He is earnestly convinced that America is on the brink of another Holocaust, and the choice is clear: Confront radical Islam or repeat 1930s Europe’s sins of apathy and appeasement.

Another reason he lives in Fairfield: In Manhattan, $4.25 million isn't going to buy you enough space for those "built-in bookshelf hold[ing] works of prophecy by Nostradamus and the Maya, a book called Spirits in Rebellion, and a volume of Mormon doctrine."

Then you've noticed we opened this month's GQ finally, haven't ya? And what'd we find, there on page 84? Style editor Adam Rapoport's blowjobby howdy to The Waverly Inn, eatery of a certain Conde Nast editor-in-chief that pops up a few times a week in certain gossip columns.

It's the type of FOB piece that screams "food editorial!" while also announcing "Jim Nelson would like a better table at the restaurant, or at least not to be bumped when Liev Schreiber calls to say he's on the way."

That, or the magazine really, really likes their biscuits.

Oh Neel Shah
Looking dapper in that suit
Who knew we'd open GQ
And find you looking cute?

Most of your lousy internships ended up with school credit (that you had to pay for) and a business card (that you had to swipe off an editor's desk) that would hopefully be your ticket to a paying job once you finished school — and prayed that editor still worked in publishing by the time you finished school.

But NO MORE!, says GQ. The Conde Nast book is going to send one lucky intern off with much more than degradation and a sloppy sublet. Your 30 day stint at the magazine will also include a 3-page spread in an upcoming issue, a style and grooming makeover with in-house expert Bret Fahlgren, two tickets to a John Legend charity concert, $1,000 in a new wardrobe, and some crappy backpack.

So how do you get your hands on this fine career stepping stone?

You grab your daddy's gold card and get on eBay, that's how.

You've got till April 30 to make your starting bid of $5k. (Don't worry, you can use flexpay! Oh, and it's for charity.)

• Gillian Hearst-Shaw shows us how easy it is to land an editorial assistantship for a publication that your family owns.

• Nylon takes a gamble copies American Idoland allows its readers to decide which band should be featured on the June/July cover.

• Time Inc.shows off their new hires! Which should come as great news to the 289 people who just lost their jobs due to company-wide pay cuts!

• GQ Hopes to Make The 'G' Stand For Generosity; everyone already knows what the 'Q' stands for.

• Fox News Channel to test "blog" pilot featuring Michele Malkin on Sunday; Jossip editors would watch, except it conflicts with My Super Sweet 16.

That GQ magazine, always up for a good prank on the level of Maxim. The laddie mag with class spends part of its January issue testing the NBA's waters on just what level of celebrity it takes to score some free courtside tickets.

It had an easier time scoring front-row Utah Jazz tix for Jenna Jameson than getting Mischa Barton into the Dallas Mavericks game. "We're all sold out down there," said a Mavericks rep. But the Jazz told the fake Jameson: "I'm sure we can work something out … Two tickets or four?"

Author Malcolm Gladwell isn't getting Chicago Bulls seats until his phony rep sends "an E-mail with credit card information." But The Rock (below) can see the Nets for free, especially if he's willing to sing the national anthem.

But what about Rosie O'Donnell belting out "The Star-Spangled Banner"? "I'm a big Rosie fan," said a rep for the Phoenix Suns, "and we're excited about this, but for the date you mentioned, I have a 5-year-old trumpet player I'm flying in from Washington."

Because as any gay knows, a big instrument always trumps a bull dyke.

Where was GQ editor Jim Nelson at Conde Nast's annual editors and publishers powerplay luncheon Nov. 29? Apparently we're the only ones who are wondering, because his absence – along with GQ publisher Peter Hunsinger – went mostly unnoticed by the Conde Nasties in attendance, we're told. Even Keith Kelly's wrap up didn't give the missing GQ bosses a thought.

For starters, their absence was excusable: Nov. 29 was also the date of GQ's "Men of the Year" Awards in L.A., where the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Al Gore, and Jay-Z walked the red carpet.

But it's the double booking that has some industry insiders concerned: Why, one tattler asks, did Conde Nast book two major events on the same night? If the GQ soiree was scheduled first, Si Newhouse booking the Conde Nast luncheon looks like an intentional snub. If Jim and Peter knew about Si's event before their planners booked the Sunset Tower Hotel, then it looks like a premeditated bitchslap toward the boss.

Surely one of you out there knows which event was scheduled first — and which party earns the title of "snubber" and "snubee."

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock, named "Newlyweds of the Year" in December's GQ:

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock, named divorcees of the year:

Then, Hilary Duff gushing to Jane's December issue about how the paparazzi helps her relationship with Joel Madden:

Hilary and Joel today:

Doing little to disarm her "Firecrotch" monicker, Lindsay Lohan agreed to involve fire in her GQ "Men of the Year" photo shoot. Granted, said fire was applied liberaly to an issue of Us Weekly, by why not a bondage scene involving a copy of Star and a Enron-level paper shredder?

An eagle-eyed reader has alerted us that Jim Nelson might have had his GQ staff working a little too hard to put together December's "Men of the Year" list — and not paying much attention to what's between November's covers.

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The magazine's first stutter comes in a spread on Bob Woodward, where Woodward's former Washington Post editor and Watergate scandal cohort Ben Bradlee is pictured. Except Ben Bradlee doesn't get the proper name check: the caption misspells his ID. And while we'll be the first to own up to our gratuitous errors, the mispelling gives Ben the name Ed Bradlee, a mixup of oversight and unfortunate timing.

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Next up is the blurb on Joe Namath. As any casual sports fan knows, Joe shaved off his famous Fu Manchu moustache for $15,000 in a commercial for Remington electric shavers. GQ, meanwhile, calls it a handlebar moustache.

At least GQ saved its ass by naming Leo DiCaprio one of its Men of the Year. You know, because he's done so much this year to be proud of. Namely, banging a Israeli model.

• Shar Jackson and Jason Alexander help say goodbye to Spederline.

• Judy? We're worried about you, too.

• Britney? Don't let anyone tell you that you're not worth three-figures.

• Nick Denton gets spanked, didn't even need Match.com profile to arrange it.

• Ex-Rocketboomer Amanda Congdon's HBO deal is followed up by an ABC gig, 'cause everyone needs Mickey Mouse's floppy ears to follow mob boss ties.

• Fox News' Neil Cavuto has the type of faith in the U.S. auto industry as he does in President Bush: blind.

• Radar can't bear to whisper the New York Post's name.

• NYT op-ed columnist John Tierney says goodbye, but you didn't read it, 'cause you don't pay for TimesSelect.

• GQ bitch fight — over food. It's on.

Keith Olbermann received two lovely pieces of news this week: First, that he made GQ's "Men of the Year" issue (in the company of Leo DiCaprio, Will Ferrell, and Jay-Z) and that the man who sent him envelopes filled with white powder has been arrested. Olbermann, meanwhile, wasn't alone in that list either: Other headliners were also on the receiving end of suspicious mailings from suspect Chad Castagana, including John Stewart and Nancy Pelosi.

MSNBC shows that are earning respectable ratings? Ah hah, that's where Keith stands alone.

• Ousting of LAT's older publisher and editor seems the perfect time for incoming publisher David Hiller to pen an Op-Ed piece on Donald Rumsfeld.

• Keith Olbermann viewership up on MSNBC, YouTube.

• CNN didn't re-air Bill Maher's Larry King Live outing because legal is a bunch of bitches.

• Women's Wear expands on the information we already told you about last week about GQ's Men of the Year: Looks like Leo DiCaprio also makes the list.

• Gannett joins the Tribune bid gang bang.

• Daryn Kagan sought inspiration, created vlog, avoided religion debate.

• Anderson Cooper visit to university results in gay boys oohing and typical college student newspaper article.

Last year's December "Men of the Year" issue from GQ slapped Jennifer Aniston on the cover in a shameless ditching of the edition's rules (i.e. honoring actual, you know men) to sell more newsstand copies to the straight guy set. This year? Expect a bit of a repeat. We hear GQ's 2006 list will include, among Will Ferrell and Jay-Z, the one and only Lindsay Lohan as the solo female. Though, while GQ will repeat last year's gimmick of printing more than one cover – 2005 saw Aniston, Vince Vaughn, and 50 Cent all receive their own editions – we're told Lindsay likely won't be receiving her own prime placement. Which means you'll have to look so far and wide to find the Bobby star's mug on a front of a magazine. Too bad.

• Simon Dumenco really only has one friend who was totally psyched about Lindsay Lohan's crotch shots? We have at least four. [Mediaweek]

• Well, if you aren't too into Lohan's vag, you may be more interested in how she is doing her part to bring peace to the Middle East. Anyone would put down their weapons and pick up a box of hair dye at the site of this. [Defamer]

• GQ editors, unable to move forward within their own mag, are forced to take high up positions at much less respected magazines. [Radar]

• Are Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton communicating via BlackBerry? If so, we bet the messages read: "shut up you stoopid hore" and "i h8 u biyotch." [Us]

• Jane Pratt pops a few Prozac and leaves the house to do a radio show. Please keep sharp objects and Sylvia Plath books at a distance. [NYP]

• Oprah is really, really flattered that this guy wants her to be president. Really. He needs to stop before her lawyers rip his face off, but, she's flattered. [AP]

Despite their lack of diet root beer and BLT's, Conde Nast has found the strength to move onto the Internet. GQ is leading the way for Web-destinted mags everywhere … we guess James Wolcott's blog on Vanity Fair's site doesn't really count. So, what exactly is GQ doing that is so groundbreaking, you wonder?

The magazine's exclusive with Abu Ghraib whistle-blower Joe Darby comes with a standard "Good Morning America" appearance today; what's new is that the magazine is simultaneously posting online the accompanying story, written by Wil S. Hylton.

They are posting accompanying stories online. Whoo! We can barely keep up with this whirlwind of fast-paced technology. Did you know some sites even include videos in their content?

Breaking News is Hard To Do [Irin Carmon, WWD]

In the face of a drought in gossip land (send us stories of your exec editors getting it on in the bathroom, please!) we are often made to laugh at some of the most trivial of soundbites. Take this little ditty from Justin Timberlake's mother, for example, which according to Us Weekly, is set to run in an upcoming issue of GQ:

“… his mom, Lynn Harless, recalls, “Britney grew up on my living room floor.”

See, if only Matt Lauer had probed a little bit deeper, we could have just gotten to the root of her hygiene issues.

Justin Dishes on Britney [Us Weekly]

In April, news that Marie Claire EIC Lesley Jane Seymore was out of a job was all the buzz in media land. Her replacement, Joanna Coles, laid low for awhile, leaving staffers walking on eggshells over her next move. But now that Joanna's gotten a bit comfortable in her EIC chair, she's made her first "move."

Executive editor Patrice Adcroft has been ousted, and Coles is bringing in Lucy Kaylin from Conde's GQ to replace her. Haven't heard of Kaylin? Maybe this will ring a bell.

… she has also done quite a bit of writing, including a cover story on Tom Cruise in May 2006 in which he jokingly said he wanted to eat the placenta of his new child after he cut the umbilical cord.

"I thought that would be good. Very nutritious," she quoted Cruise as saying.

We can think of no higher qualifications for landing second chair at a women's mag than spending 19 years at a men's mag where the highlight was a chat with Tom Cruise on eating Katie Holmes' placenta.

Coles Raid [Keith Kelly, New York Post]
Earlier: Lesley Jane Seymour Out of Marie Claire's hair

In the May issue of GQ, the magazine features a Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? like spoof on the scariest celeb ever, Michael Jackson. Because doing photo shoots with models who look like celebs is the new cheap alternative to paying the paparazzi. (And yes, we do realize we've been talking about the paparazzi all day, but just go with it.)

Oh, yeah, and MJ is really pissed, so he's suing GQ. After he was accused of molesting a bunch of little boys nobody gift wrapped his album for Christmas, and he really needs the money.

In one photograph, a Jackson look-alike sits in a darkened cinema with a row of children.

Another shows him standing in the desert draped in a black cloak and headscarf, with his trademark white glove.

In a statement, Jackson's representative, Raymone Bain, said: "Mr Jackson is furious that his image has been used in such a misleading way, and is demanding an apology from the editors of GQ, and its publisher, Conde Nast.

There is a Michael Jackson look alike roaming free out there? Dear God, how on Earth did that possibly happen? We don't care if you're a half horse half human like Hilary Swank or a burn victim or something … nobody is actually naturally born with a face as unfortunate at Michael's. Nobody.

Jackson demands magazine apology [BBC]
Where's Michael [GQ]

First it was Lindsay Lohan and Vanity Fair. Then, it was Lindsay Lohan and W. Now, the controversy involves Michael Douglas and GQ. And of course Brad Pitt and Angelia Jolie.

It's no big deal when a celeb denies what's printed about them in a mag — it happens all the time. But why is it becoming increasingly difficult for journalists to prove they're right?

The latest controversial quote (which though not as ruffling as a bulimic Lohan, did cause quite a stir among celebrity gossip writers and tabloid editors) has Douglas knocking Brangelina in last month's issue of GQ.

"I don't know about Brad Pitt. Leaving that beautiful woman [Jennifer Aniston] to go hold orphans for Angelina. I mean how long is that going to last?"

One problem — the quote is (gasp!) not on the tape. Which leaves Douglas claiming that GQ writer Jeanne Marie Laskas made it up.

"I didn't say it," he told "Entertainment Tonight." "I spent a number of hours in that interview, a lot of it on tape and when I asked the reporter … to play back the tape for me, I was told the tape was turned off, and it was something that was written down, and I just don't buy that."

While the magazine stands by its writer "one hundred percent," Douglas is busying himself trying to make amens with the celebrity couple.

We hear the best way to win them over is to just start giving them children. Surely he and Catherine Zeta Jones can spare some spawn — it's a pretty small price to pay for a dinner party invite.

To make best of a Brad situation, Douglas claims he's misquoted [Rush & Molloy, Daily News]