• Grey's Anatomy to lose one of its only likeable characters; Dr. Addison Shepherd to start own "Firecrotch" inspired spin-off.

• A porn addict fights for his right…to ogle virtual hotties at work.

• Michael Jackson checks into the Marian Medical Centre with the flu. One day later, Manuela Gomez Ruiz dies of a heart attack. Coincidence? We think not.

• Brangelina's adopted daughter, Zahara, experiences the joy, wonder and full frontal nudity of Mardi Gras.

• Anonymous screenwriter seeks non-embarrassing alchy to accompany him to this year's Academy Awards.

• Angelina Jolie drops down to 109 pounds, possibly because her mom just died and the media/paparazzi won't leave her the fuck alone.

• Harry Potter shows what's under his invisibility cloak. Again.

• The Chicago Tribune confuses Serena Williams with Beyonce Knowles; both women are offended.

• Slutty flight attendant changes her story, cops to joining Mile High Club with Ralph Fiennes.

• Ubiquitous cover girl Eva Mendes "slips" and admits Halle Berry has had a little bit of work done.

• OMG, could Grey's Anatomy really have killed off its self-involved protagonist? Will it have to rename it after one of its self-involved secondary characters??

• Pee-Wee Herman shows up to check out big-booty ho's at the premiere for Reno 911.

Breaking:

Patrick Dempsey and his wife, Jill gave birth to two healthy twin boys in Los Angeles yesterday afternoon.

The boys, Sullivan Patrick and Darby Galen, are "already thrilled" to hear that their names are only semi-pretentious (at least by celebrity standards), and are already looking forward to their McTerrible Two's, to be immediately followed by a life of tabloid exploitation.

Demspey, "Dr. McDreamy" on Grey's Anatomy, is not currently expected to "pull a Diddy" and leave his wife's bedside in favor of party-hopping with the pantsless star of Factory Girl.

A rep for the Dempsey's said "the family is resting comfortably, and they're excited."

We just hope McDreamy is as good at changing those McDiapers (last time, we promise) as he is at eye-humping Meredith in the Seattle Grace elevator that no one else ever seems to ride.

"Grey's Anatomy" star Isaiah Washington has announced that he will check into a treatment center for psychological evaluation, following the controversy over his anti-gay slur against co-star T.R. Knight.

"I have begun counseling," Washington said. "I regard this as a necessary step toward understanding why I did what I did and making sure it never happens again."

Also, Isaiah is exhausted.

• Model/actress Bridget Moynahan is getting rexy over rumors that naturally-thin supermodel Gisele Bundchen is dating her ex. Related: normal women everywhere try, fail, to relate.

• Introducing President Barack Obama, from the same people who brought you Shrek and Shrek 2.

• Grey's Anatomy star Isaiah Washington fires his publicist for permitting him to attend the Golden Globes without wearing a muzzle.

• But that may not be enough to stop Washington from joining 289 former Time Inc. staffers over at the unemployment line.

• Mandy Moore is evidently still punishing herself for "Candy" by continuing to date DJ A.M.

• Today's blind item is more of a "who cares?" than a "whodunit?" but we leave you to ponder over which Spitzer appointee has a threesome fetish.

• And today, in Z-list celebrity feuds…Dustin "Screech" Diamond takes on Gary Coleman.

Think you've heard the last of the Isaiah Washington gay-bashing incident? Think again. Despite the fact that the incident is already three months old (and we've completely lost interest), Jessica Simpson's shaggy-haired musician/boyfriend has decided to toss his hat into the ring.

That's right, John Mayer, evidently inspired by supermodel Gisele's earlier crazy, unsolicited musings about fashion, and has decided to weigh in with his own completely original solution to ABC's PR nightmare.

Because, according to Mayer, the only way to combat the homophobic Isaiah Washington is with a homo-friendly Dr. Burke:

Now, far be it from me to chime in on other people's business, but just like the man standing in line for a movie overhears a stranger behind him whom he knows has confused the finer points of the film "Throw Mama From The Train" with those of "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!", sometimes you have to turn around and butt into a situation that doesn't concern you in order to offer a little bit of assistance.

ABC may fire Mr. Washington, and it seems as if the pressure to do so is mounting by the day. They may also choose to placate all parties involved with some well-constructed press releases and the soothing touch of time, but in my mind, neither outcome succeeds in making any strides in promoting the tenets of tolerance and understanding.

I would like to offer my suggestion for a solution; produce an episode of Grey's Anatomy in which Mr. Washington's character, Dr. Burke comes out to his friends and colleagues as a gay man!!! What better way for an actor to get to the roots of his discrimination than by portraying the very the subject of his own ire for the remainder of his contract? That'll learn ya!

Lest you think that we're joking, please allow us reassure you that Mayer then goes on to script out a few "hypothetical" Grey's Anatomy scenes, as per his aforementioned Dr. Burke-is-a-homosexual storyline. And not surprisingly, the end result is so campy/awful/unfunny that we're actually rendered speechless and virtually incapable of mockery. Suffice it to say that highlights include Dr. Burke baking tea cookies for Jake Shears of Scissor Sisters, a gay club in Seattle called "The RamRod," a mime with a scalpel in his chest, and, most improbably of all, the self-involved, narcissistic Meredith Grey relegated to a single, solitary line of dialogue??

We assure you the whole thing reads like an unfunny joke that's gone on for way too long, but should you have any interest in seeing how the creative genius behind "Your Body Is A Wonderland" envisions a very gay episode of Grey's, the full "script" is available after the jump.

CONTINUED »

While the New York Post gets its Grey's Anatomy "faggot" scandal rocks off with the screaming headline "GAY'S ANATOMY," we, for some stupid reason we've yet to understand, thought the blogs might have more creative answers to how to brutally exploit the opportunity for a pun. Or print much more clever headlines. Whichever.

Indeed, they didn't disappoint.

• Hecklerspray: "Isaiah Washington: ‘Sorry For Being A Dirty Great Gay Hater’"

• Queerty: "Isaiah Washington Apologizes for Being Total Fucking Idiot"

• Monsters & Critics: "'McChokey' Isaiah apologizes for slur"

• jsboehm79: "A McApology from McHomophobe"

• MollyGood: "Isaiah Washington GLAAD To Put All This Behind Him"

We have a long standing policy to create and maintain respectful workplaces for all our employees. We dealt with the original situation in October, and thought the issue resolved. Therefore, we are greatly dismayed that Mr. Washington chose to use such inappropriate language at the Golden Globes, that he himself deemed 'unfortunate' in his previous public apology. We take this situation very seriously, and his actions are unacceptable and are being addressed.

That's ABC's official statement regarding Isaiah Washington's Golden Globes interview where he renegged on an earlier admission of calling co-star T.R. Knight a faggot.

That's also ABC's way of saying: "No, we're not firing him. Don't you know what this is going to do for ratings?!"

Still obsessing over that whole real-life melodrama on the set of Grey's Anatomy? Well, yesterday we told you Katherine Heigl is angry with Isaiah Washington for rehashing the issue at the Golden Globes and now we're hearing TR Knight went on Ellen to talk about, well, what it's like being gay. In addition to stammering endearingly (just like his character on TV!) Knight comes across as emotional and sincere, and gives a giant kudos to Ellen DeGeneres for paving the way for stars like himself, Doogie Howser M.D. and Lance Bass to "come out" on the covers of People Magazine.

• Barack Obama delights every Democrat (other than Hillary Clinton) by officially announcing his presidential bid.

• Izzy's pissed at Dr. Burke for continuing to make fun of Georgie; meanwhile, self-obsessed Meredith is too busy disappearing before our very eyes to even notice.

• Future Scientologist David Beckham to cash in on his good looks with an acting career. "Attaboy!" says Beckham's handsome (and Oscar-less) bestie, Tom Cruise.

• Britney Spears may be withholding pics of her son so she can sell them for enough money to cover K-Fed's alimony checks.

• Trump gets a star on the indiscriminate Hollywood Walk of Fame; Rosie O'Donnell already 'stepping in dog poo' in preparation.

• Check out the Worst-Ever Golden Globes fashion trainwrecks. Leading the way? Paula Abdul, of course!

Notice how Isaiah Washington's recent headlines have nothin to do with calling T.R. Knight a fag or choking Patrick Dempsey? In the fine art of celebrity crisis management, Washington has aptly bounced back, scoring meetings with President Bush and the First Lady to discuss his iniative to battle malaria. A notable cause, for sure, though Isaiah's ramped up interest in fighting the disease that kills hundreds of thousands of Africans (oh, and other folks too) each year was nicely timed to coincide with Laura Bush's summit. And, as People notes, Washington's political hobnobbing didn't end there: he hit Dick Cheney's holiday party en route back to the Grey's Anatomy set.

Then again, it's always made sense to us to use the holidays as a chance for homophobes to get together.

• Some celebrity charity projects have merit. Stripes on a face? Not so much.

• Ground breaks on CitiField, otherwise known as Shea's demise.

• Ellen Pompeo agrees to marry music producer boyfriend who is only one year older, though looks twenty.

• The Upper East Side is now the new Gramercy: Post-college kids who need space on the cheap.

• Sniff, but don't lick, those ads in People.

• Survivor contestant also Playboy TV hardcore reality series player (NSFW).

• Former Miss Seventeen contestant and Seventeen intern Brianne Burrows pops up from the woodwork to dish on Atoosa Rubenstein's departure. Everyone loves a MySpace spat.

• Voted "most likely accurate" of all of Simon Dumenco's predictions: Greg Gutfeld's crack den.

• Effective Friday, shelter title Dwell named Sam Grawe editor-in-chief, who began at the magazine in 2000 as an editorial assistant. J-school grads, there's hope for you yet.

• For $100k, you can have Paris Hilton host your New Year's Eve party. For half that, Carmen Electra. For half that, we're guessing you can have two Kevin Federlines. [Page Six]

• Britney Spears won't reveal second baby's actual name, angering more fans than her barefoot trips to the port-a-potty. [Scoop]

• Grey's Anatomy scrapped a girl fight scene following Patrick Dempsey and Isaiah Washington's spat after producers thought fans might confuse pretty young things in a row with homophobic slurs. [Planet Gossip]

• Wesley Snipes will remain in Namibia until December to finish shooting his movie and give the feds plenty of time to orchestrate a press-heavy encounter when he lands stateside. [R&M]

• Like a Men's Vogue cover, AskMen.com names George Clooney its No. 1 fella. [AskMen]

• Prosecutors consider filing charges against Snoop Dogg following his little "concealed weapon at the airport" incident. [AP]

• Borat, who? Sacha Baron Cohen is done with the controversy and moving on to his next role. [Variety]

• Grey's Anatomy's Isaiah Washington has a pattern of being an asshole. [TMZ]

• O.J. Simpson's camp denies he's paying paid anything, let alone $3.5 million, to write a book. Still mum on that whole double murder thing. [R&M]

• Conan O'Brien's L.A. house hunting don't help rumors that NBC is forcing him to head west when he takes over Jay Leno's late night timeslot. [Planet Gossip]

• Anna Nicole Smith's half-sister Donna Hogan hopes to cash in on Anna's fame with new book. Also, blames Anna for son Daniel's death. [R&M]

• Warner Brothers made empty promises to fit the amputee extras in the studio's Blood Diamonds with prosthetic limbs, following trend of making empty promises about the bottom line to investors. [P6]

• The baby daddy of Madonna's adoption hopeful says he wasn't aware the pop singer would be taking away his son David forever. [NYDN]

• HP: Printers, scanners, laptops, and peeping toms. [WSJ]

• Like his administration, Mayor Bloomberg asserts his 72 percent stake in Bloomberg News is not for sale. [NYT]

• ElleGirl.com relaunches on Monday, with hot new features like photos, videos, text alerts, and favorites. You know, just like Bolt.com had in 2001. [WWD]

• Grey's Anatomy "bitch" and "faggot" (Isaiah Washington's words, not ours) T.R. Knight comes out, comes out wherever he is. [Queerty]

• Marriage is so last season. [Time]

• Hopes for Moynihan Station aren't dead, they're just sleeping .. after a late night out involving Grey Goose and Klonopin. [NYT]

The on-set Grey's Anatomy brawl between Isaiah Washington and McAnnoying Patrick Dempsey volleyed itself beyond your typical ego-fueled throat grabs. The National Enquirer, which broke the story, is reporting the Oct. 9 fight at Prospect Studios in L.A. also had Washington throwing around gay slurs like he was George Allen at a GLAAD event.

A heated discussion quickly escalated to violence when Isaiah snapped, revealed an eyewitness.

At one point, Isaiah yelled, “I’m not your little faggot like (name deleted),” according to the source. Those who heard him were stunned.

Because of the extreme nature of the slur, The ENQUIRER is withholding the name of the co-star targeted by Washington.

So who's the co-star whose name shall not be mentioned? Oh, who are we kidding: Of course it's T.R. Knight. Grey's writers all but call him a fag on the show as it is.

This is strike two for People magazine in their "we don't know how to credit the National Enquirer" tally. First People didn't give credit to the Enquirer when they ran the Jessica Simpson/John Mayer story. (The one where they fudged a cover quote and claimed it was from Simpson.)

Now, today, they touch on the biggest celeb story of the day: "Brawl on the set of Grey's Anatomy!" The Enquirer reports it was "one of Hollywood's most shocking fights ever" (which is ridiculous, because nothing can ever beat the Burt Reynolds vs. Mark Somers rumble on the Tonight Show). Yet, despite the sensationalism, NE had the details first.

A long-simmering feud exploded into the open as Isaiah Washington (Dr. Preston Burke) attacked Patrick Dempsey (Dr. Derek Shepherd) and put him into a chokehold, say sources.

The fight erupted at Prospect Studios in L.A. on Oct. 9 when Isaiah, 43, and Patrick, 40, started arguing about cast members being late for a scene.

Enraged, Isaiah grabbed Patrick by the throat and shoved him!

According to the source, when T.R. Knight, who plays Dr. George O'Malley, demanded the pair break it up, "Isaiah called him a 'bitch.'"

Awesome! That's great. And sort of sexy. But, of course when People runs the story it's all "we loooove you! We won't say bad things about you! Please do a cover shoot for us!"

"We were like two baseball players . . . nose-to-nose," Washington tells PEOPLE. "We had a difference of opinions while working on set but we've resolved it."

At issue, says Washington, was "time and (keeping) the production going. The communication was lost in translation."

But no punches were thrown: "Our faces are too beautiful for that!," says Washington, who plays Dr. Preston Burke. Dempsey plays heartthrob Dr. Derek Shepherd, otherwise known as "Dr. McDreamy."

Boooring. No choking? No bitch calling? No credit to the Enquirer for breaking the story? Come on, even Rush & Molloy gave a shout-out to the rag. Hmm. Maybe People just spent all their money on crappy photos of Anna Nicole Smith and now there isn't any left for a few extra word of attribution.

Still, they really should have managed to find a way. After all, the Enquirer did precede their headline with a big "Exclusive!"

Grey's Anatomy Stars Brawl on Set [National Enquirer]
Patrick Dempsey & Isaiah Washington's On-Set Dustup [People]

Nobody loves TV more than we. While much of New York's media elite foolishly disband the tube as a brain cell sucker, sure to send those who worship it into mental rigor mortis, we can not get office jobs because they won't let us work from the couch while watching television.

Well, the only people who might love TV more than Jossip are the networks themselves, and yesterday two of them laid out their plans for fall programming at the upfronts. In an attempt to lure and convince advertisers that their shows will not suck, networks really had to rally this year. Proven by the popularity of Friends, Will & Grace, and Sex and the City re-runs, viewers are majorly jonesin' for good TV.

Though NBC is adding six drama programs to its line-up, most of the buzz is over drama pitch Studio 60, which will star Matthew Perry, and the comedy 30 Rock, a spoof on Saturday Night Live.

ABC is taking a huge risk by switching Grey's Anatomy to Thursdays … which sucks because it is becoming a going out night. But ABC is taking the ax to some of it's programs.

Also not returning on ABC are sitcoms Hope & Faith, Freddie, Less Than Perfect, Rodney and Sons & Daughters; dramas Commander in Chief, Invasion, In Justice and The Evidence; and docudrama Miracle Workers. American Inventor, which concludes season one this week, has been picked-up for midseason.

So, come on everyone! Let's get really, really excited for the 35 new shows being introduced for fall … and then brace yourself for when they get cancelled after two episodes.

ABC Upfront: Unwraps Six Degrees, The Nine; Shifts Grey's to Thursdays [Marc Berman, Mediaweek]
NBC Looks Beyond TV for a Prime-Time Revival [Stuart Elliott, New York Times]

Shocking — we had no idea that girl on girl on girl shower action would be such an attraction on the most testosterone infused day of the year.

ABC's Grey's Pulls Big Post-Super Bowl Stats [Media Week, John Consoli]