And while Brooke Shields can deliver a television advertisement worth watching, sports heroes cannot. But guess what about this Guitar Hero: World Tour spot agitates us more: That we have to watch one-time alleged sexual assaulter Kobe Bryant, rumored Madonna fling Alex Rodriguez, skateboarding forever-child Tony Hawk, and the insufferable and unavoidable Michael Phelps jam together? Or that homages to Tom Cruise movies are still in vogue?

VIDEO GAMES ARE STUPID When did it become socially acceptable for adults to sit around playing video games all day? We blame Guitar Hero, the game that enables office managers to think of themselves as musicians, if not heroes. And for these people, there is no greater hero than Joe Perry, a middle aged man who looks good in spandex. So in the ultimate act of wish-fulfillment synergy, "Guitar Hero: Aerosmith Edition" is coming out in June. Dream on indeed. [MTV]

Guitar Hero III is already ruining the music industry, and now it has also ruined Christmas for one Canadian dope fiend/curious teenager

After catching his 15 year-old kid smoking pot with his “delinquent friends," a father in Montreal sold his son’s copy of Guitar Hero III on eBay for $9,100 to punish him.

This is just the kind of story that gets parents thinking they can control over their kids’ lives. Add this to the list of reasons we have a disregard for Christmas, right behind our Jewish heritage.

Heavy metal act Killswitch Engage (oh, oh, we get it: there’s a switch you engage and then someone is killed) has gained newfound popularity through a video game. The Boston band has picked up buzz since their song “My Curse” (is the curse being responsible for engaging the killswitch?) appeared as a bonus track on Guitar Hero III. The digital sales of their single “Through the Fire and Flames” went up 180 percent after the game came out.

With Universal forcing Lindsay Lohan to do a third album, we kind of want to engage the killswitch on the record industry.