Aw, cute! Hallmark Magazine is currently thriving in a veritable print depression, while every other magazine has cut corners. Rolling Stone is left scratching it's head and shrinking its size while circulation for Hallmark is expected to rise by another 100,000 units this year to bring in a total of 800,000 readers (double of what the mag started with in 2006). So why is a magazine that doesn't even put human beings on the cover all the time bitchslapping the competition? Several theories from the people that work there:

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Hallmark's reaching out to the homos with a new set of gay marriage greeting cards, the latest lavender shift for the legendary company:

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• Richard David Story finds a way to never get table at Michael's ever again.

• Memo Pad runs out of English things to talk about.

• McClatchy Co. sells Minneapolis Star Tribune – for less than half of what it paid for the paper – to yet another private equity firm looking to fancy itself a newspaper.

• Glam.com continues to misrepresent itself.

• Hallmark willing to let magazine advertisers throw parties in its store.

• NYT's Carlotta Gall gives ABC News the scoop on her assault by Pakistani government agents.

• So pleased with the results of its newspaper advertising program, Google marches along with expansion plans to trample over a rag's ability to earn revenue by itself.

Fresh off the heels of our failure to launch a sticker book magazine, Hallmark has decided to launch a glossy pub all their own. (Bad news for the Sheffield Halam Alumni Association, good news for recently booted Organic Style and Budget Living employees.)

With a goal of opening later this year, Hallmark has already run three test issues through Time Inc.’s custom publishing operations.

“We’re taking all the things we learned from our test issues and trying to put together the best book possible,” said Julie O’Dell, public relations director, Hallmark. Those early issues focused on subjects like relationships, home, crafts and food.

Obviously, Hallmark magazine will need to come up with a new, distinctive voice to hack it in a sea of Marie Claire and Ladies Home Journal pubs. Ooooh, maybe they could suggest do-it-yourself cards for very unique situations?

You know, like, how to say “I am the guy who pulled the trigger that shot my friend and gave him a heart attack and I feel real bad about that.” We haven’t really seen that advice anywhere else yet.

HALLMARK CARDS TO LAUNCH LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE [Nat Ives, Ad Age]