If you work in the magazine industry right now, or the paper business, or the blogosphere, or really any profession that involves writing for a living, you are pretty much hiding under your desk, hoping that HR doesn't notice you are still on the payroll.
But hey! Not all titles are dying off at an alarming rate! Elle magazine actually posted a minor profit this quarter, Men's Journal and Best Life also saw some increases, and Harpers Bazaar only had a .3% loss! That's like, nothing.
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Just because CosmoGirl! closed its sparkly doors two weeks ago doesn't mean that the budget crisis is over in Hearstland. If anything, even more publications under that particular umbrella are feeling the pinch, and the next title to go might be a doozy:
Though it was unclear how many staffers Harper’s Bazaar employed on the West Coast, a voice mail of Lisa Marie Costa, the magazine’s southwest director, said she no longer worked at the company. “Harper’s Bazaar has chosen to hire a firm to manage sales on the West Coast. We think it’s a smart decision — given that we’ve had growth in paging and share.”
Slightly important controversy erupted this week when da blog scene started questioning the authenticity of Kirsten Dunst's pearly whites on the cover of Harper Bazaar's October issue. Were they or weren't they (photoshopped)? Kirsten has always been a proud advocate of her snaggletooth, so Harper's decision to artificially whiten/straighten Dunst's teeth could presumably be seen as another example of fashion magazines hiding human flaws on their models and setting unrealistic expectations for women to…**snooze**
Harper's Bazaar claims it didn't artificially fix Dunst's smile, so maybe the girl just got herself some Crest whitening gel. Whatever.
At any rate, it's marginally more interesting than wondering who's gotten a boob lift, so let's look at the photo evidence:
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Samantha, Mark and Charlotte Ronson grace the pages of the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar in a fairly boring article that only gets exciting when — who else? — Lindsay Lohan becomes the topic of conversation.
Tyra Banks has finally fulfilled her wish of making Barack Obama’s run for the presidency all about her. In the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar, TyTy poses as America’s First Lady (God help us if that ever becomes a reality) and discusses how Barack’s progress affected her.
When Barack won the nomination, I just started bawling. I started calling all these people, and everybody was talking to me like I was crazy. They’re like, ‘Well, he hasn’t won yet,’ but I’m like, ‘Yes, he has, because he’s gotten this far.’
And, because Tyra’s the authority on all things presidential, she offered up her inane advice to Michelle Obama (to which Michelle is hopefully like, “No thanks”).
Tyra Banks will dress up as Michelle Obama for Harper's Bazaar's September cover, continuing her tradition of transforming into the powerful women she wants to be. [Page Six]
Good news, everyone! Kanye West has yet another bone to pick with a random victim, but this time he forgot to use his caps lock key. Evidently Harper’s Bazaar misrepresented a piece of artwork in Kanye’s home in a feature on his decorating skills in the September 2007 issue. No, seriously. This was almost a year ago.
In the December issue of Harper's Bazaar, ousted HarperCollins publisher Judith Regan magically reappears just in time to answer the question everybody wanted to know six months ago: What in the hell ever happened to Judith Regan? As it turns out, not very much. The "retired" editrix claims she's tired of the public spotlight, desirous of a major lifestyle change and finally ready to come clean about her biggest regret, namely:
"Agreeing to reward a known murderer with a hefty book advance in exchange for his detailed how-to guide to committing double homicide."
Kidding! Her much more boring answer: "… that I spent too much time in the office. I gave so much to my work, and honestly, it wasn't worth it."
Weird! We hear her former assistants (who are, coincidentally, all suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder) had the exact same regret!
• After more than one false alarm, the words "Murdoch and Dow Jones reach agreement in principle" have us shouting from the rooftops, and singing a song we made up ourselves entitled, "It's About Fucking Time."
• Which means Christopher Bancroft has failed in his last-ditch, longshot crusade to thwart Rupert Murdoch's plans for total world domination.
• At long last, HuffPo tackles that hard-hitting issue of "Why Canadians care about the Black verdict and Americans don't."
• Harper's Bazaar EIC Glenda Bailey becomes the latest victim of the new jaundiced fashionista trend.
• William Shatner to interview celebs on boring, new Biography-channel version of Chelsea Lately.
It's no secret that couture models (a.k.a. glorified clothes-hangers) are putting their malnourished bodies under dangerous amounts of strain due to a steady regimen of chain-smoking, compulsive exercising and liquid dieting, as well as the misguided impression that a protruding ribcage is this season's "must-have accessory."
But now, a gripping ad campaign in the current issue of Harper's Bazaar showcases a new, heretofore undetected health risk for the elite supermodel: jaundiced yellow skin.
So far, this latest affliction (deemed "beyond glam" by fashion insiders) seems confined to high-fashion runway walkers and the pretentious designers who dress them, but there's no telling how soon it will spread to the pages of more lowbrow fashion advertisements, including (but not limited to) ads for Target, Contempo Casual, Dress Barn, H&M, and Sarah Jessica Parker's bargain basement line, "Bitten."
When reached for comment, bored, disinterested sounding fashionista types staunchly defended the new look, rolling their eyes and explaining in curt, matter-of-fact tones that, "Sallow is the new white."
More evidence of this shocking/controversial phenomenon, after the jump.
• Pete Wentz penchant for eyeliner, women's jeans earns him a spot in People's 50 Most Beautiful People. [via BWE]
• Reality show maven Mark Burnett is scouring MySpace in an effort to find the next Amanda Congdon.
• Gay detectives race to dispel rumors that Anderson Cooper is a never-nude.
• Harper's Bazaar versus Vogue is no contest. Vogue, the thicker and denser of the two, easily wins the "when dropped by a 6 foot model onto one's head" competition.
• Meanwhile, black families everywhere were devastated to learn that they will no longer have a channel named after them.
• Four out of five red-blooded American men would risk jail-time to bang Miss America…aged 14.
• According to Harper's Bazaar, two out of every three "chic" stylish women has had sexual relations with Gilles Bensimon.
• Charlie Rose is "Larry King for Mensa members." And the best place for presidents to give length one on one interviews without saying anything.
• NY Times shareholders demand a shake-up. When asked to elaborate, investors said they have no problem with "boring, elitist crap," just so long as it's turning a profit.
• Geraldo Rivera launches one-sided feud with TVNewser's editor, calling him a "pubescent rejectionist."
• NBC execs are nostalgic for the days when people actually watched their television programming.
• Which may or may not explain why My Name Is Earl is bringing "new car smell" and eau de "obnoxious cologne" into your very own living room.
• Of course Google is buying YouTube. Up next: Google will also buy Pepsi, the CW, and an African child. [Mediabistro]
• Mel Gibson's publicist insists that he is completely sober and did not have a beer at a bar. Well, we didn't hear any "f'in Jews" comments come out of his mouth, so we know he wasn't drunk. [TMZ]
• Apparently Radar doesn't find a problem with magazine journalists accepting free trips to Istanbul where they ride on yachts and drink champagne. And here we thought they were such media watchdogs. [Radar]
• Harper's Bazaar really goes that extra mile by dressing Natalie Portman up as Audrey Hepburn. How did they ever come up with that? [AP]
• Shockingly, Pittsburgh loves Sienna Miller just as much as she loves them. They'll probably start calling her "stupid whore." (No, it doesn't need to rhyme … they're from Pittsburgh.) [Us]
• Harper's Bazaar has been busy shopping Conde Nast's market staffers. We hear the Hearst cafe is better, people! [FWD]
• Clubs in L.A. don't want Brandon Davis to enter. The real question, though, is "why?" He's so sweet and fun-loving. We really just don't get it. [TMZ]
• Now that she's the most famous lady of the day, maybe Arianna Huffington can offer to have Tom Freston's carpet cleaned? [FBNY]
• Girls, listen up. Just be happy with yourselves, ok? So what if you're a frizzy mess and dickwads call you names like hag or slag or biyotch? Linda Wells thinks you're hot. And she would also like if it if you grow some confidence and stop interrupting her vacation to talk about lip gloss and conditioner. Capiche? [NYDN]
• And then there's this girl. Who almost has too much confidence. We don't know — celibacy vows seem somehow cheapened when Paris Hilton flashes her ass all over town. [Mollygood]
What exactly does one have to do to land an article in Harper's Bazaar? Not much — just be famous. Celebs writing for mags, while nothing new, is just another annoyance on the list of things that peeve aspiring journalists. Honestly, how does your average Brown grad stand a chance of landing a byline when the competition is Demi Moore's boyfriend and Diddy's best friend? As The Envelope observed last week, Ashton was doing his homework while attending the Narciso Rodriquez show.
It looked to some observers as if Ashton Kutcher was intently writing a shopping list for his lady love at the Narcisco Rodriquez (sic) runway show.
But the actor was actually working. He was taking notes for an article on fashion shows that he's penning for Harpers Bazaar. And no, this isn't a Punk'd prank. At least, I don't think so.
While we do have our doubts that Ashton is actually any good, we guess we should be happy that Bazaar is at least commissioning a real celeb. Unlike, say, Glamour, who just grabs the first B-List socialite they can find and slap all over every inch of their mag.
Hollywood heads to the Big Apple for Fashion Week [Elizabeth Snead, The Envelope]
Yesterday, the dear city of Tokyo experienced a huge threat to their underground transportation system. The transit authorities of the Japanese city came this close to banning advertisements for Harper's Bazaar which features a naked, prego, Britney Spears.
Luckily for everyone involved, that won't actually happen. They reconsidered the publisher's "intention."
But on Thursday, Tokyo Metro said it would allow full presentation of the photo as an exception to its obscenity rule, saying it understood the publisher's intention was to portray a happy mother — not to be sexually explicit.
Oh, really? We actually thought the publisher's intention was to promote birth control … but, happy mom is a good cover, too.
What are Yahoo News' most emailed photos of the day?
Britney Spears on Bazaar, Britney Spears on Bazaar, and Bazaar's second choice for a cover model.
Most E-mailed Photos and Slideshows [Yahoo!]
Legal threats aren't foreign to us around Jossip HQ. Colin Farrell! Jennifer Aniston! Conde Nast! And just this week: Hearst! and the Church of Scientology!
As you read in Rush & Molloy this morning, Hearst's Harper's Bazaar editor Glenda Bailey is a mighty bit upset that exclusive photos of their August covergirl – a naked and pregnant Britney Spears – leaked across these here Internets. (The issue hits newsstands July 25.) Having shared small thumbnails of the images with our readers, we spent yesterday afternoon on the phone with Hearst attorney Debra Weaver, who demanded the images be taken down. Fair enough; they're entitled to argue their side of things.
But the most amusing part was Weaver's demand to know where the photos came from. "Did you get them from someone inside the magazine?" she wanted to know. Weaver explained Harper's was very concerned they had a leak inside the magazine. (Uh, you fucking think?) Since we're never in the business of revealing our sources, we didn't have much to say to Weaver and sent her on her merry way — thought we'd still like to take Weaver to lunch .. if Hearst is paying.
Meanwhile, we also heard from the Church of Scientology yesterday, who were none too pleased about our posting their orientation video that lacks any sort of interesting plotline or production budget (or, for that matter, any Tom Cruise cameos). We're standing by our claim of the video's newsworthiness (legal counsel can be so clever with their nouns), though our webhost has caved to their DCMA Infringement notice. So you won't be able to find that video on Jossip; but you can find it here.
The mystery of Britney Spears' switch to black hair has been solved. Harper's Bazaar must have forced the girl to do it so that she didn't look like she came straight from an Eminem video shoot.
God knows why anyone would want to take photographs of her naked while pregnant, but Bazaar thought it was a bright idea. The site hosting the pics claims the photos were for the August cover, but then Brit decided to scrap the spread. Or, maybe the photo director got vomit all over the original proofs and they just couldn't bear the thought of seeing her nekked again.
Amazingly enough, all the cellulite that was hanging out during her Matt Lauer interview is now gone. Ah, the powers of airbrushing. If you can stand it, Brit in the buff, after the jump.
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It's amazing what you can learn from airplane magazines. Ok, not really, but while flying into New York last night, we came to the full realization that it is impossible to escape Bonnie Fuller. The woman will stop at nothing to promote her book (including allowing these pink drawings of herself to be published), which you all know highlights her advice on how to pack your life full of purses full of thongs and how not to get fired from your job as a top magazine editor.
Like her readers, Fuller has had her own share of embarrassing moments, but by far the most public was her firing in 2001 from the editorship of Glamour, brought about, according to media industry gossip, by a combination of her demanding personality and a perception that she was (unsuccessfully) angling for a job at Harper’s Bazaar.
Ah, yes, the good old Harper's Bazaar curse. Everyone is always postulating as to who will replace the chief at the fashion mag. Some things never change — as we know, this gossip mil continues today, in the form of Lloyd Grove's haunting emails to Atoosa Rubenstein, who is doing everything in her power to deny, deny, deny.
Well, we don't believe everything we hear, but if Hearst is jockeying for a new Bazaar EIC, we just hope Glenda Bailey finds out before we do.
Straight Talk: Bonnie Fuller [Liz Seymore, US Airways]
Editorial Director
