You are looking at a Wall Street Journal headline from yesterday's newspaper. What you might not get from the headline is that instead of posting a $8.86 billion loss, Wachovia will post a $9.11 billion loss. Pennies, right? But there's a reason you didn't get a sense of peril — we're talking a $250 million difference — from the headline: the Journal didn't want you to. When Rupert Murdoch launched the Fox Business Network last year, he promised a "more business friendly" (than CNBC) financial network. And having gobbled up the Journal, it appears Murdoch might be spreading that policy to newsprint. Otherwise, this headline might've read the less wordy, less vague, "Wachovia Admits to Even Wider Loss." [Naked Shorts]
Look! In Touch has found a new way to make the number "69" cool again! [In Touch]
"A good way to keep your trademarked product name from beginning a sentence is to insist on writing it with a lowercase initial." See: iPhone, eBay. Though this rule only may only apply to print headlines; online the Times went with "iPhone Users Plagued by Software Problems," but in changed up the wording to create the stylebook-friendly, "In Line for an iPhone, and Then Prevented From Turning It On." [CSM]
The "best friend" is actually actress Busy Philipps, who you'll know best (only?) from Dawson's Creek.
Have you ever totally known that something was true but still felt strangely validated when you saw your longstanding theory brought to life by a semi-credible print publication?
Well exactly how we felt when we picked up today's New York Post and read the headline: "Pervs Ride The No. 5 Line." Um, obviously! We're just glad someone else finally said it. [NYP]
Sometimes a good headline (and a cup of Dunkin' Donuts hazelnut coffee) makes our morning. Like this Daily News overachiever, for instance: " Pam's wedding in a class by itself."
Which, admittedly, becomes a whole lot more awesome after you read on and discover that the first two lines are: "The bride wore a white denim miniskirt and calls the groom "scum," and the wedding cake was made of cardboard. Welcome to holy matrimony, Pam Anderson-style."
Well played, Zuckerman. [NYDN]
Just when you think things couldn't get worse for the Wenner Media tabloid, this.
When you think about it, it's not particularly surprising that acquitted murderer O.J. Simpson would decide to circumvent the not-so-infallible legal system and opt instead for the less conventional "robbing someone at gunpoint" route to recover some modestly priced sports memorabilia (a.k.a. "worthless crap") that he claims is rightfully his.
What's more astonishing, however, is that this time, Simpson didn't ditch the would-be murder weapon, hop the red-eye to Chicago, burn all the evidence of his crime in a giant burlap sack and vow to catch the real killer armed robber so much as allow the entire crime to be tape-recorded for posterity…and posted on TMZ.
Remember the other day when we told you how Whoopi Goldberg spent her first day on The View defending Michael Vick and casually brushing off his puppy-murdering tendencies as merely a "Southern" thing? Well, surprisingly, after the show, a couple reporters had a few questions for Whoopi, who explains she was just trying to bring everyone a "different perspective."
"Just so he's not this monster," Goldberg said. "He's a wonderful guy who was involved in something terrible. I'm not excusing it, I'm just saying, listen, I believe his apology … and maybe this will be a huge wakeup call to a lot of people doing this."
She's right, this could totally be a huge wakeup call! Especially for all those crazy Southern dogfighters who never miss an episode of The View. And, of course, for those plucky headline writers over at the New York Daily News.
Throwing question-marked cover lines on the front of magazines are, as you might have guessed, an editor's cheap way of cheating your intelligence, reaching the lowest common denominator, and sort-of-taking-a-position on an issue while leaving it open-ended enough because they don't have the facts, or desire, to make the argument they brought up in the first place.*
Question-marked coverlines are also what make Slate.com's publishing schedule thrive. CONTINUED »
You know how the argument has been made that celebrity coverage has invaded hard news, like, way too much? We're pretty sure CNN has even covered it, but here they are, on their homepage yesterday, in their Top Stories section, with this headline:
Really? This is news? That Bono ripped off his glasses because he was so upset? So angry, that he tore off his obnoxious eyewear that insists on wearing outdoors and in?
The outrage! The furor! The … ridiculousness of the video that accompanied the headline. CONTINUED »
"The headline on MSNBC was catchy: 'New treatment for depression - marriage.' It was also irresponsible," writes HuffPo blogger Bella DePaulo. "I spent years checking out claims like this while working on my book, SINGLED OUT: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After."
DePaulo's headline is catchy: "Is MSNBC really recommending marriage as a treatment for depression?" We've spent years checking out claims like this while working on this website, for which we'll latch on to any scrap of relevancy in the news cycle to plug our product.
That DiversityInc.com bought a sponsored link on Google for "Don Imus" search results isn't the surprise. It's that CNN – or MSNBC, for that matter – didn't.
With Keith Kelly bringing news that Hachette Filipacchi is playing another round of its fav parlor game – "Which American magazine should we close next?" – with Premiere magazine, we couldn't help but admire the artwork that is the article headline: "Hachette May Draw Curtains on Premiere." Which, naturally, meant it was time for us to engage in our own fav parlor game: "Alternative Headlines."
• Final Show for Premiere?
• Premiere Takes a Bow
• Premiere: No Extended Run Planned?
• Preemie Premiere
• The Movie Magazine You Don't Bother Touching, Even in the Doctor's Office, Will Close Or Be Sold, Not That You Care, Because, Like Most Americans, You Don't Read It
While the New York Post gets its Grey's Anatomy "faggot" scandal rocks off with the screaming headline "GAY'S ANATOMY," we, for some stupid reason we've yet to understand, thought the blogs might have more creative answers to how to brutally exploit the opportunity for a pun. Or print much more clever headlines. Whichever.
Indeed, they didn't disappoint.
• Hecklerspray: "Isaiah Washington: ‘Sorry For Being A Dirty Great Gay Hater’"
• Queerty: "Isaiah Washington Apologizes for Being Total Fucking Idiot"
• Monsters & Critics: "'McChokey' Isaiah apologizes for slur"
• jsboehm79: "A McApology from McHomophobe"
• MollyGood: "Isaiah Washington GLAAD To Put All This Behind Him"
Good to know, Liz. For a moment there we thought you were re-embracing that whole feminism thing.
We promise that if you'll let us make a quick joke about George Clooney's rumored homosexuality and this headline attaching his name to "Dorothy," we'll do our best to make sure nobody else repeats said joke.
Thanks.
• James Wolcott gives Katie Couric more words than she has viewers.
• And you thought Times headlines were troubling.
• We've used everyone one of these cliches, and we'll continue to.
• MSNBC turns to LXtv to fix primetime.
• Madonna not overjoyed by black baby joke.
• It's official: Miss USA is now Miss ex-USA, which means she's ready for her Maxim cover.
• Generalized advice for generalized blogging.
And look, the NYT even included the word "plunged" in the headline for ya, Jack.
Editorial Director
