Now, it's not just Jon Friedman reaking havoc at Marketwatch.
Yes, that's YouTube claiming copyright infringement. YouTube. Claiming copyright infringement.
But wouldn't that, like, put an end to Poynter's six-figure blogger?
Comparing news tabloid covers isn't so much an exercise in weighing what's more important to Americans, but gauging what's more important to .. oh, fuck it. Option A is the only option.
Jack Shafer, in all his infinite wisdom, advises you not to read the paper the day of an election. Newsprint, it turns out, cannot be updated in real time with additional speculation, groundless commentary, and shrouded exit poll numbers. Instead, you're left with miserable headlines like the New York Times' "Candidates Make Dash for Finish Line." Says Shafer:
A quiet sets over the press corps on the Monday before a national election. The boys and girls who have covered the campaigns for the last six months have nothing left in their tanks, and the headline writers know it. "Parties Crank Up Voter Turnout Efforts," whimpers the Washington Post's above-the-fold headline this morning. Below the fold at the Post, it's "Candidates Making Final Push to Break Out." Crank Up! Push Out! Well, given the date, the headline writers can't very well go with The Campaign Heats Up, can they?
Well, actually, yes they can.
Gotta' give it to the New York Times: they love their graphics. Sure we've had celebrity graphics, diagrams about PR and publicists …. and now we have the "how Cory Lidle crashed his plane" graphic.
We opened it and clicked through all the steps … and it's actually more confusing than helpful. But whatever we can do to help you waste your time, well, that's what we'll do. We're sure by now you've seen the insane amount of coverage over this tragic event, so, we're not going to spend our whole day talking about it.
On the off chance that Jann Wenner is spotted with his baby or a fight breaks out on the set of Lost, we want to be there to cover it.
• Tina Fey brings the glory of Rockefeller Center to the small screen. Tune in — if only for the slight chance 75-time SNL host Alec Baldwin will do something funny. [Gothamist]
• Oh, to live on one of the top 50 blocks of New York. We don't think Prospect Avenue in Brooklyn even makes it into the top 800. [Curbed]
• Smoking is not glamorous. Unless of course you're a New York musician/rocker named Cat Power and then smoking is totally hot. [FBNY]
• We already told you about the aircraft/small plane/helicopter/bird/Super Man which crashed into a building but … well, that pretty much trumps all other news at this point, so we're telling you again. [NYT]
• What are these UPS people thinking? Can't they deliver their packages without getting in Donald Trump's way? Uh, hello, people. He's rich and powerful. Don't annoy him. [Page Six]
So, try not to panic. We don't think any terrorist (or as our President would say "turrists") were involved in this. But, there is a burning building on our TV screen as a result of a aircraft crash so … we're pretty freaked out right now. We are tuned into ABC Eyewitness News (hello, we were watching One Life to Live) and from what we can gather, the plane or helicopter flew into the north side of the 50-story Bel-Air building on 72nd and York.
Eyewitness News has learned that a small aircraft has crashed into an Upper East Side building Wednesday afternoon.
Several windows of an apartment were blown out in an apartment building at the Belair building on 524 East 72nd Street, between York and East End Avenue.
That's a high rise building near the Hospital for Special Surgery.
A fire was reported on the 41st floor. FDNY crews are on the scene working to put the blaze out.
So far, there are no reports of how many injuries there may be as a result of the crash.
Firefighters are on the scene to rescue all the children and nannies who are living in the residential upstairs apartments. Hopefully everyone gets out ok. Also, there is no word as to the people who were on board the aircraft as well. So … try to stay calm. And if you live in the Bel-Air bulding, book a hotel now.
In a rehab clinic somewhere, meanwhile, Mark Foley is smiling. A better day could not have come.
People magazine is not a tabloid. It's a real news outlet, brining you all the important things happening in the world. A mix of celebrity news and real news, People is your one stop shop. And you don't even have to feel guilty about wasting your brain cells on tabloids, because they have breaking stories that affect your world.
See? Tori Spelling, B-List movie starts, and a guy who shot a bunch of kids and may have molested them, too. Get your copy today!
The television news that TV Newser may or may not be covering:
Well, maybe not all …
See? Television makes you stupid. Watch too much of it and you'll be dropping your 42-incher on your kid.
Time Spent Watching Television Increases [Los Angeles Times]
Child Killed By Falling Television [Houston.com]
Ok, we know it's been a little while since we grabbed a Matt Drudge headline, but with this one, we just couldn't resist.
The site has since updated to "Mystery: Trash Bag In Space," which makes us think that somehow Hilary Swank's 2005 Oscars dress was launched into orbit.
NASA: Second Object Spotted Near Shuttle Appears To Be Bag [Local 6]
This week, New York magazines explains how a gay American is made. Via, of course, the personal essay of New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey.
We haven't read the whole thing yet … not only because it's five pages, but because of that really creepy photo and the eerie way McGreevey describes his "gay in the making" experiences.
This is how it started. I leaned forward and kissed his neck. It was wrong. I wasn't an ordinary citizen anymore.
Weird. All this time we thought it just took one night at Barracuda, a few passion fruit martinis, and a Banana Republic polo to make an American gay.
The Making of a Gay American [James McGreevey, New York Magazine]
• Aha. So this is why Jim Romenesko doesn't live in New York. [Gawker]
• This story on Anna Nicole Smith is not exactly about what the headline suggests it is. [AP]
• The same goes for this New York Times tea bagging story. [NYT]
• Christie Brinkley finally cuts that Peter Cook douchebag out of her life. Dina Lohan's Bungalow prospects just dropped by 5. [Star]
• Shiloh Jolie-Pitt gets papped for the first time. Hey, she had to pop her cherry at some point. [Mollygood]
News of the Daily News hit today, carrying the information that Mort Zuckerman axed his VP of classified ads, Andrea Dove. After tricking her into thinking she was heading in for a meeting with new CEO Marc Kramer, HR sideswiped her, and gave Dove her walking (er, should we say flying?) papers.
We doubt the firing (which may end up resulting in an age discrimination lawsuit) will have a huge affect on other staffers. Well, at least not as large of an imprint as it had on Keith Kelly's life. You so know he's been waiting a lifetime for a headline like this.
The only thing left to do after this masterpiece is to sit and wait for some sort of tree in the forest in the Grove headline to top it.
LONESOME DOVE'S WINGS CLIPPED AT DAILY NEWS [Keith Kelly, New York Post]
• Holy shit! Lindsay Lohan's getting engaged to Harry Morton! [Page Six]
• Or, you know, she's not. [Star]
• After attacking the swag lounge in the Bryant Park hotel, Jessica Simpson enters a raffle and wins a car. We hope she's using these difficult times to inspire material for her third album [NYDN]
• There's gotta' be a Ben Widdicombe joke in here somewhere. We're too hungover to think of something subtle yet obvious, so we'll leave it to you. [AP]
• We so don't want to picture these two doin' it. [Us]
What story is ranked at the top of just about every single news outlet? Let's take a look.
• Ramsey Case Suspect Cleared After DNA Tests [New York Times, cover]
• Off the Hook [New York Post, cover]
• John Mark Karr Case Collapses [People]
And then, there's this:
• Home of the Bravest [Daily News, cover]
We just love that the Daily News has such a unique take on the important news stories. (Either that or they didn't realized the "John Mark Karr case collapsed" until like 1 am, so they added that little bar across the paper and called it a day.).
• The subway freaks broke the world record for riding the NYC MTA. It doesn't actually count, because it's not in the Guiness Book of World Records .. but it's surely in all of our hearts. [ABC]
• Maybe you should try not to get stabbed or get a piece of risotto stuck under your fingernail or anything like that. NYC nurses are on strike. (And we totally support their cause.) [ABC]
• Apparently you can flunk your lifeguard certificate, and still save people. Especially people who aren't actually drowning, but just want a Sandlot moment. [NYDN]
• Manhattan kids are really spoiled little bitches. But, they're spoiled little bitches who look better than you do. [NYT]
On the right: yesterday's Daily News Cover, on the left: today's Daily News Cover
We would have prefered the headline: "Or Not." (And Jack Shafer says this isn't journalism's finest hour.)
His confession is questioned [Michelle Caruso, Daily News]
Earlier: The Daily News Has to Sell Papers Somehow
You know how everyone on TV keeps repeating that even though they made an arrest in the Jon Benet Ramsey case, they still need to prove John Mark Karr guilty in court of law in order to close the case? Well, the Daily News has another take on this matter.
Though, it is more or less the job of journalists not to question news reports or show restraint in jumping to conclusions. Does it really matter if "Solved!' is a true statement? Of course not. Whatever sells the papers, right? (Though if they really wanted to push copies, they would have put one of those sparkly pageant pics on the cover.)
Sicko bagged in Bangkok [James Gordon Meek, David Caruso, Daily News]
Editorial Director
