CBS will air another edition of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, where Heidi Klum gets a chance to exhibit even less personality on TV. [B&C]
Gisele Bundchen earned $35 million in the past 12 months. Impoverished Heidi Klum earned only $14 million. [NYDN]
• Sports Illustrated knows it demographic and its fantasies. The magazine is running a spread with Heidi Klum all over Will Ferrell.
• The theme of the next issue of W magazine is beautiful women who overcome unflattering birthmarks on their face. The cover stars: Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman. CONTINUED »
• Lance Armstrong insults our intelligence (and makes us question his) by insisting he's just friends with Ashley Olsen, and referring to her as a "nice, smart lady."
• Spice Girls fill in for Kanye West at the Victoria's Secret fashion show. Throughout the performance, Posh was overheard murmuring quietly to herself, "Th-th-that that don't kill me. Will only make me stronger."
• Meanwhile, Heidi Klum has altogether too much fun with her Bedazzler.
• Natalie Portman becomes the latest unattached celebrity to say she won't get married until the gays do.
• TMZ: The doctor who "operated on Kanye West's mom the day before she died" also left a sponge inside of another patient. And now there's a warrant out for his arrest. Not that we're directly accusing him of anything, mind you. But allegedly? He totally killed Mama West.
• In other news, the Victoria's Secret fashion show reminds us how extraordinarily sexy medium-range lingerie Really is! Especially when worn by Brazilian models. Who have zero percent body fat.
• And Heidi Klum "makes an ass out of herself." Literally.
• Despite having served 84 minutes in a state penitentiary, Lindsay Lohan has not even begun to pay her debt to society.
• Trendwatch: Plastic surgery correction to usurp plastic surgery as the lastest celebrity must-have by next season.
• Amy Winehouse 's manager quits amid concerns over his own health. Specifically, over the perceived risks of secondhand heroin inhalation, otherwise known as all those dangerous drugs Amy Winehouse claims she was much, much too busy to smoke. Repeatedly. In his presence.
• Meanwhile, Ashley Olsen is reportedly going to great lengths to please her new boyfriend, Lance Armstrong. Including allowing his twin six year-old daughters to bring her into school as "Show & Tell." [via Dlisted]
• Heidi Montag loves breast implants, long walks on the beach and the Bible, says religion is "how I got to where I am."
• Tom Cruise proves that white man can neither jump nor dance.
• Heidi Klum horrifies Seal, her family by borrowing a few parenting tips from Britney Spears.
• Ashlee Simpson's dress is almost as transparent as her desire to surgically alter her face until she's the spitting image of her more successful older sister.
• Heidi Klum shares the heartwarming story of how she fell in love at first sight…with Seal's tightly spandexed package. Awww, that totally explains why their lovenest is plastered with naked family portraits!
• In light of their new movie's disastrous box office showing, Reese and Jake are officially back "together."
• Steve Martin is writing a book for children. Also of note: "Children" is Martin's all-inclusive word for non-New Yorker subscribers.
• Larry Craig is reportedly using campaign donations to foot his legal bills. Naturally, constituents are outraged! But mainly over the whole "closeted gay" thing.
• Jilted ex Jennifer Aniston to turn her humiliating personal life into mediocre movie magic by starring in the pseudo-autobiographical film adaptation of "He's Just Not That Into You."
• Stick figure Teri Hatcher takes it all off for the Badgley Mischa. Presumably, because Vladamir Putin was unavailable.
• Shame on you, Chuck Norris. Both for having plastic surgery and for making us buy that worthless piece of crap known as the "Total Gym."
• Is Suri Cruise the newest Baby Gap spokesmodel? But What would Xenu do??
• Despite popping out three children, Heidi Klum is still skinner than you've ever been. Ever.
• Hilary Duff stops taking her horse tranquilizers and goes on a bender. As a result, she shows up for work chubby and hungover.
• Faith Hill tells a grabby Tim McGraw fan to "show some respect," keep her hands to herself and refrain from any activity that involves balls flying at her face. In response, an omnipresent Stacy Dash quipped, "Well, there goes your social life."
• "WHICH actress' weight gain is being blamed on her scoundrel ex-boyfriend who knocked her up? She only started shedding some of the weight when he forced her to terminate her pregnancy." Aw, they called Jessica Simpson an "actress."
• We fully believed that Heidi Klum was modeling the chicest, most outrageous in cutting-edge couture until a small child laid eyes on her and said, "But she has nothing on!"
• Joe Pesci to marry Sly Stallone's ex.
• OMG, Paris Hilton was disinherited by her grandfather, reports a myriad of unreliable websites.
• Kelly Osbourne drops thirty pounds by eating healthy, exercising regularly going heavy on the Photoshop.
It seems like every week there's another new trend in Hollywood, doesn't it? From Lindsay Lohan's side-boob to Nicole Richie's oversized sunglasses to Pete Wentz's still-to-catch-on "guyliner," you never know which styles are going to catch on and become "the next big thing." Fortunately, we're here to offer you our inexpert opinion on what's hot…and what's not.
And what's hot right now? Celebrity baby pictures. And not just any pictures, mind you. We're talking "frolicking in the water with my child while the overworked, underpaid nanny takes a two minute bathroom break" pictures.
• Jennifer Aniston is ready to meet with Brangelina and clear the air, just as soon as "clear the air" becomes synonymous with "scratching Angelina Jolie's eyes out."
• Page Six shockingly reveals that Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love's lovechild came into the world in the same way that she was conceived: amidst complete and total lunacy, and accompanied by massive amounts of heroin.
• Justin Timberlake promises not to suck in concert; refuses to make similar promise about his acting performance in Alpha Dog.
• Snag a cool, new style secret from ultra-glam couple Heidi Klum and Seal…and start adorning your lovemaking pad with giant, naked photos of yourself and your lover!
• If only Nicole Brown Simpson were alive today, she'd swear O.J. never laid a finger on her. Ironically, however, she's dead.
• Although Anne Hathaway's character does get to bone Adrian Grenier in the movie The Devil Wears Prada, in real life, working for Anna Wintour really, truly sucks.
• Michael Richards is really, really sorry, y'all. Especially to those black people someone keeps making.
• Just when you thought Britney Spears was headed in the right direction with her comeback, she extends her stay on the Paris Hilton train wreck.
• Painful, but true. That's Chad Lowe's thoughts on Hilary Swank revealing in Vanity Fair that her now ex-husband has a little substance problem.
• Nas' ex Carmen Bryan has a new book out, ripe with claims of physical abuse. A sure-fire bookstore seller, no doubt.
• Heidi Klum and Seal welcome a baby boy, planning the event around the Thanksgiving holiday so there's be a fraction of a chance the celeb press might leave them alone.
• Maybe if
• The best way to prevent yourself from getting famous? Steal Brandon Davis' jokes from four months ago. [TMZ]
• Jessica Beil has resorted to making out with chicks in order to get some attention in the gossip columns. [Gatecrasher]
• Only in Choire Sicha's world does Jessica Coen + Noelle Hancock = Melissa Burkelhammer. (We could, however, see Jessica Joffe coming from that equation.) [NYO]
• It's not really the legs or the hair or the skin that makes Heidi Klum so friggin' lucky. It's that every time she says something really stupid, she can blame her German accent. [WWD]
• Today is Boy George's day. [AP]
When we first heard this we were like "Oh my God! How is this possible?!" You know how Heidi Klum has decided to take on the name "The Body?" Because, y'know, she's got a really freakin' good one? Well, this is not sitting very well with the first "Body" Elle Macphereson.
According to her publicist, Macpherson was branded that name in 1986 (Lloyd Grove was like 30, so he remembers that). She also has a lot of press referring to her as "The Body," including major magazines. And she has a skin care line called "Elle Macpherson The Body," along with a fitness video titled "The Body Workout."
Everything from Harper's Bazaar to Vogue to the recent Sports Illustrated calls her that. In terms of public record, that name belongs to Elle."
… Klum — who was once called "The Body Two," in deference to Elle — is a relative Heidi-come-lately, and didn't hit the United States until the late 1990s. Both Klum and Macpherson have been favorites of the Sports Illustrated annual swimsuit issue, and both appeared in the mag's latest.
Snap. Don't you hate when the stupid foreign girl becomes more famous that you and can do whatever she wants without anyone but Lloyd Grove noticing? Oh my god, it's the worst.
Elle's shock over 'Body' double Klum [Lloyd Grove, Lowdown]
• Maybe we're too picky, but "Fat Joe potato salad?" Sounds worse than eating freckled fire crotch. [HipHopGame]
• First Bob Dylan, now Dee Snyder? Satellite radio djs are all going to be washed up musicians. [NYDN]
• Kevin Aviance is back with a vengeance, and a fabulous new get-up, just in time for the parade. Watch out for an upcoming gangsta rap album. [Page Six]
• Just so we're clear, Slash still hates Axl Rose as much as we do. [MTV]
• With all these court payments on tap, Seal may have to ask Heidi Klum to cash in that insurance bond on her legs. [Jam!]
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