Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.
collegium \kuh-LEG-ee-um\ noun
: a group in which each member has approximately equal power and authority
Heidi and Spencer never felt like they were in a collegium with Lauren because as the narrator, she has more power over the show.
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• Heidi and Spencer really believer her post-USSR "Higher" video was great art. This is what MTV does to the kids.
• The polls say that Jews don't like Obama. How could that be? The media loves him. CONTINUED »
Here's the new Heidi Montag single. We imagine that this song will sell because the music industry isn't taste driven, though probably not to anyone who caught that Radiohead reference here.
For those who want to avoid bleeding ears and eyes, the video feels like it was produced in Russia immediately following the fall of communism. It's as if fake breasts and blond hair were the truest form of expression.
No offense to the Russians.
NO ALARMS AND NO SURPRISES On Super Bowl weekend, Sunday Styles is bereft of its happy couples from Ivy League colleges and/or schools that cost as much Ivy League ones, and must turn to trends. The latest: celebrities living it up in Vegas, where they given freedom to pimp themselves on their own terms. “In Vegas, I don’t have to worry about photographers waiting outside my house every day because they can’t wait outside my hotel room,” Spencer Pratt says. His girlfriend, Heidi Montag's thoughts on the matter, or any matter whatsoever? Silence. [NYT]
• Cookin with Coolio is even more absurd than we had imagined.
• Finally, an answer for P.C. liberal democrats: MoveOn.org endorses Obama. CONTINUED »
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt might be running the most lucrative faux celebrity relationship in Hollywood. Not only are they said to be pocketing cash for cooperating with photo agencies like Pacific Coast News, but we're also hearing they're under the sheets with the celebrity weeklies.
A tabloid operative with direct knowledge of the situation insists Us Weekly paid the couple a "HUGE fee, around $15,000" in exchange for shooting them for the "Why I Called Off My Wedding" cover story.
It's on the books as a "location fee," we're told, which would allow Us to hold up its public persona of not paying for stories or access, while getting the shoot through accounting's spreadsheets.
An Us Weekly top editor, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, flatly denies the charge: "No, we didn't" pay, says the staffer. "Make-up was taken care of by us," but there weren't even any travel incidentals to pay for, since "I think we shot at his house."
Which is true; the photos were taken at Spencer's house in the Palisades. (Wenner's money managers might be wise, then, to question any such "location fee.") And it's also a little perplexing that any magazine would have to pay to shoot Heidi and Spencer — those two will sell their first through fifth born for a cover, or even a quarter-second of footage on a VH1 countdown show. But that's the rub.
Is Pacific Coast News just the latest paparazzi agency to be fingered for colluding with celebrities? We're hearing very good information that the agency cut a deal with The Hills' Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. PCN gets access the couple, staged shots, and thus a leg up in selling their photos to tabloids, while Heidi and Spencer get to be seen in positive light. Oh, and pad their pockets with a cut of the revenues.
A PCN exec we reached out to hasn't returned comment, but one knowledgeable source also says PCN had a similar financial arrangement with cash-starved Brandon Davis, who would ensure shots of him and Mischa Barton were captured by the agency's photogs. (So the rumor goes, Brandon began running out of photo-worthy activities with Mischa. Thus, there's a pic of them playing croquet.) Mischa, who was once thought to be just a pawn in Brandon's photo escapades, is now said to be in on the deal herself; following her DUI arrest, a tearful Mischa walking her dogs in Greystone Park appeared, credited to PCN.
PCN has also acknowledged to industry sources we spoke with that they have a "business relationship" with Spencer, but didn't elaborate. Heidi has been overheard talking about her own deal with "Matt at PCN" to shoot her exclusively.
So how much do these photos enrich this unnerving reality twosome? A two-page spread inside a celeb weekly can snag "at least" $5,000 gross, according to one paparazzi source, but the percentage Heidi and Spencer take home isn't known. But their lengthy photospread on UsMagazine.com, as exhibited here in a PCN photo, probably paid for a teeth whitening or two.
Of course, none of this is entirely "news," as most photo agencies secure exclusive or semi-exclusive relationships with any number of celebs and reality starlets. Not that standard industry practices aren't worthy of our attention, of course.
• Us Weekly recounts Heidi and Spencer's cheesiest moments. When even Us Weekly isn't buying your bullshit, you know you're in trouble.
• Rorschach test: Which part of this recent picture of Jude Law is least attractive: The tattoo, the hairline or the armpit hair?
• The private letters of Punch and Pinch Sulzbergers won't be available until 2035 and 2057. Better change your weekend plans.
• Bush administration lied 935 times about Iraq before the invasion. Way to stay under 1K, guys.
• Lil Wayne brings the party: The rapper's tour bus contained 105 grams of marijuana, 29 grams of cocaine and an unspecified amount of the drug ecstasy. He's already crying over it.
• Starbucks is experimenting with reasonable prices for coffee.
Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.
neoteric \nee-uh-TAIR-ik\ adjective: recent in origin : modern
Last night, we had a dream that Spencer and Heidi from The Hills broke up, which was our subconscious telling us that this neoteric trend of reality stardom has gone too far.
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• On seeing this picture of his ex-fiancée and current GF Heidi Montag posed on all fours, Spencer Pratt thought to himself, "now this looks familiar."
• Trying to seem smart by taking a stand on the writers strike, Joaquin Phoenix ends up looking like a misguided first grader, and misspells his name.
• For our money, Brian Austin Green peaked during the later college years of 90210. Everything that came before and after was for not. CONTINUED »
• Heidi Montag poses for Maxim, which we will now refer to as Playboy Lite.
• Britney Spears should wear a bra. And consider anti-depressants. Just saying!
• David Beckham: Still attractive.
• Brad Pitt is also still attractive, but the new goatee isn't really working.
• Joey Buttafuco was never attractive, and is even less so lately.
• Someone got a tattoo of Maddox Jolie-Pitt. Really.
Vacation's over, but the tabs have yet to recover from their holiday hangovers. It's a sad day when pictures of Katherine Heigl's wedding excite us.
With all the celebrity diet "exclusives," Intern Whitney was happy to see Brangelina on the cover of Life & Style. The mag takes their stalking abilities to the next level, monitoring their family's daily habits with a time chart. Ground breaking work, for sure.
Star has resorted to more ugly pictures of celebrities to make you feel better about yourself, and the mag also teases us with the idea of a Britney and Jamie Lynn crazy house! We'd go. Other great ideas: Making Mischa Barton the godmother of your child, finding love via public restrooms and proposing to a Kardashian. What a week. CONTINUED »
• Talk of The Tabs preview: Heidi and Spencer are not so much getting married as they are starring in a MTV series.
• Courtney Cox and David Arquette continue their blissful relationship, so we continue not to care about them.
• In other Lauren Conrad spin-off news, Kristin Cavallari might be in talks for a new show on MTV.
• More thoughts on the Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy: It's not a good thing.
• We're glad we don't get holiday cards from Amy Winehouse.
• We forgot, too. Ashlee Simpson is some sort of singer.
Breaking photo feature from People magazine: Stars eat! But not "just like us," when they’re eating at Subway, it’s not for an ironic Valentine’s Day, but for unironic benjamins.
• Courtney Love, ladies and gentlemen.
• Got Paris in a can? For the love of God, don't let her out.
• Britney's sleazy record producer ex is spotted cozying up to Lindsay Lohan; Rejected suitor Scott Storch dies a little bit inside.
• You're not paranoid. Inanimate objects are everywhere. And they're watching you.
• Access Hollywood thinks Britney Spears is addicted to…sugar. Related: Jossip editors think Access Hollywood is addicted to horribly wrong theories.
• Whoopi Goldberg inadvertently outs Queen Latifah. Whoops!
[Image via PacificCoastNews]
Um, did you see The Hills this week? OMG, Heidi totally tried to apologize to Lauren for the whole sex tape thing, Lauren was all like, “I want to forgive you, and forget you.” Oh snap, what a play on the “forgive and forget” expression. CONTINUED »
• Meanwhile, Ashley Olsen is reportedly going to great lengths to please her new boyfriend, Lance Armstrong. Including allowing his twin six year-old daughters to bring her into school as "Show & Tell." [via Dlisted]
• Heidi Montag loves breast implants, long walks on the beach and the Bible, says religion is "how I got to where I am."
• Tom Cruise proves that white man can neither jump nor dance.
• Heidi Klum horrifies Seal, her family by borrowing a few parenting tips from Britney Spears.
• Ashlee Simpson's dress is almost as transparent as her desire to surgically alter her face until she's the spitting image of her more successful older sister.
Our favorite reality TV duo, Heidi and Spencer, are taking a brief respite from their self-promotion tour to do a charity lunch. (Actually, the lunch is co-sponsored by CosmoGirl!, so really, it's a working lunch.)
Currently the bidding is at $240, which seems low, but then again, we'd pay at least that much not to share a meal with them.
Some advice for the winner: Meeting celebrities can be awkward. After, "OMG, I watch you on TV all the time" the conversation might fall into a lull. Don't attack. Instead, take Spencer's approach with Heidi and be duplicitous.
Ask her about the wedding plans. Engaged women love talking about floral arrangements. She'll never realize you're thinking about how much Spencer has sold the wedding rights for the whole time.
[Photo Credit: WireImage]
Is Heidi Montag (who will now forever be known as the chick from The Hills who bared her soul—and her giant fake boobies—on the cover of Us Weekly under the validating headline "Revenge Plastic Surgery") a victim of circumstances or a shameless self-promoter?
Two Jossip editors discuss, while simultaneously watching the crappiest music video in all creation.
Jossip Editor 1: it seems like being a celebrity is a pretty miserable existence
Jossip Editor 2: agreed, but that also explains why it attracts a certain breed of pathetic wannabe
case in point, my next story (sends link to heidi montag music video)
Jossip Editor 1: I'll never get those two minutes back, right?
Jossip Editor 2: never
• Sure, you hate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's politics. But what about those adorable dimples?
• Breaking: George Clooney's new girlfriend has a racy past that includes cocktail waitressing and wearing two-piece bathing suits while on vacation.
• Jenny McCarthy is possible engaged, definitely a nose-picker.
• Hayden Panettiere stubbornly refuses to forgo undergarments and exit her limousine crotch-first. Prude!
• Like Today correspondent Ann Curry, Heidi Montag isn't afraid to die for what believes in. Unlike Ann Curry, what Heidi Montag believes in is breast augmentation.
• Kiefer Sutherland joins the Hollywood DUI Club — though his illegal U-turn still doesn't best Nicole Richie's driving up an exit ramp.
• Just be grateful your parents still haven't figured out how to turn on the computer.
