Helen Gurley Brown spent 32 years towing the line between makeup tips and sex advice at Cosmopolitan, which meant she had more advice to offer than she could squeeze into Sex and The Single Girl. For instance, did you know there are eight rules for having an affair?

I believe most girls are attainable by somebody. Really, most girls, but you have to work at it. I think the reason you don't always succeed is that you want everything now, this minute, tonight's the night. Rule one is "Take time to court her." Rule two: "Love her out of bed." Laught at her jokes. Women have fantastic egos too, you know. Even pretty little flips of girls just love to be thought fascinating and funny. [...]

Rule seven: "Act confident, even if you aren't." If she thinks you know what you're doing, even if she doesn't know what she's doing, it helps. One man I know, when he's sure conditions are right, takes over like a father. He just tells the girl, "Now, let's get out of this dress, darling. Let me take your shoes." Well, pretty sure she's doing everything he says.

Set to press clippings of Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook's extramarital scandal, Gurley Brown's wise words have taken on a whole new meaning. Magazine editors, you see, will say anything to cheerlead scandal.

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoyed their first "official public appearance as a couple. And by "public" we mean avoiding the red carpet and slipping inside through a back door. [Star]

• Us Weekly is claiming firsties on Christina Aguilera's marriage to music exec Jordan Bratman. The weekend wedding in Napa was absolutely start studded — Sharon Stone was there, and so was Aguilera's manager Irving Azoff! Paparazzi frenzy, narrowly avoided. [Us Weekly]

• So desperate to get on The Ellen Degeneres Show, ex-Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown hired a choreagrapher and cameraman to tape her dancing to Andrew Lloyd Webber, which will make a great reel at the next Cosmo lunch. [Gatecrasher]

• If Nelly is going to drop $10,000 at a strip club, he can certainly afford to drop $10,000 on charity. Hooray for guilty consciouses. [Page Six]

• Jay-Z is putting the finishing touches on his Tribeca penthouse, which he had to fight to buy last year thanks to wary tenants. But it was worth the fight: He'll be able to escape his Time Warner Center pad, which counts girlfriend Beyonce's mom Tina as a neighbor. [R&M]

• The NYPD might not know who Peter Braunstein is, but they do know he's been caught. You know, except he's hasn't. [Gatecrasher]

• Kelly Osbourne is furious at Stavros Niarchos for ruining her 21st birthday bash in Vegas by pulling the sprinkler lever. Oh the irony of Kelly calling Stavros a stupid rich kid with too much money. [Page Six]

• Some say CBGB's is moving to the Hard Rock Hotel in Times Square, but owner Hilly Kristal wouldn't know about it. Either way, we walked past it one night this weekend — and the crowd that spilled out onto the sidewalk didn't exactly indicate an eviction notice. [Lowdown]

• Nick Lachey + porn star = Tabloid heaven. [Page Six]

• Surprise: Whacked out Joaquin Phoenix skipped another Walk The Line event. [Page Six]