Starting in January, Regis and Kelly are going to go into High Def overdrive. The only question is whether Kelly Ripa will look as weathered as the harsh pixelated version of Katie Couric does.

Unfortunately, these sort of changes come in pairs, so with this change comes a contest of sorts. Well, a contest fer reals: to come up with a new theme song for the Regis and Kelly show! Hurray, that's just what we need. More people thinking they can get famous off of YouTube. And the winner gets a "meeting" with someone from William Morris.

Fuck it, let's just turn the search for Regis and Kelly's new HD theme into a reality show. You know they want to.

We're generally not too impressed with any cable news network's high-definition offering. Do we really need to see Wolf Blitzer or Brian Kilmeade with extra clarity? Being able to lust after a higher-resolution Anderson Cooper (or John King) is one thing, but so far the only tangible advantage anybody has shown is CNN when, during the presidential debates, they used the extra space HD broadcasts provide for those obnoxious pundit pie charts. Then again, only CNN (last September) and Fox News (this May) have made their broadcasts available on a HD channel; MSNBC remains out of the loop — and will remain that way until at least the the second quarter of 2009, missing the election season. So for now, you'll have to rely on our assessment: Yes, 35-year-old Rachel Maddow is as "fresh faced" in HD as she is in standard-def.

Yikes, America's Sweetheart of Journalism is looking a little bit weathered recently. Could it be a few sleepless nights worrying about her position at CBS? Or is it because the channel's recent decision to switch to HD (despite a whoops moment at launch) makes the anchor look like she's wearing some sort of Katie Couric Halloween mask?

The past several years has seen a boom in HD programming, since higher resolutions not only make television watching more cinematic, but also justify Time Warner's increasing fees. But television is not film, so while Mad Men might look fantastic in HD, and the outline of Michael Phelps' bulge at the Beijing Olympics will be on parade for everyone, not everyone can hold up under the scrutiny of digital broadcasting. Let's zoom in, shall we?

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