Have you noticed a trend in children movies lately, where traditional conceits such as "plot" and "dialogue" are thrown out in favor of a more art house approach? Sure, cinema for tots generally airs on the side of the absurd and fantastical, but just by examining how Disney moved from Snow White to the recent post-apocalyptic Chaplin recreation WALL·E you can see a trend that heavily favors nonlinear storytelling.

Now, with Dave Eggers/Spike Jonze adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are taffy-pulling a 20-page book into a full-length film dealing with a child's existential crisis, the room for creative dalliances is balloons as producers realize "nonsensical" sells. With that in mind, Paramount's Nickelodeon Movies family label purchased the rights to an unnamed project based off the creatures sold in Kidrobot, the bicoastal hipster toy store:

CONTINUED »

Have them fight each other.

Live (to tape) from Union Square: Hipster Fight Club. "A number of shirtless, scraped-up men paced the perimeter of the circle, alternately refereeing and answering questions. The rules were simple: find a partner, get in the ring. No face shots, tapping out ends the fight. No settling scores, just fighting for the fun of fighting. No experience or discernible skill required. A couple of emo-hipsters in matching floppy sideways haircuts and matching white belts got into the act, proving that one does not inherit martial arts skill by simply being Asian." [AIANL]

Okay, picture this: You’re in a struggling band, desperate for exposure, but you still want to keep to your hipster roots. You’re featured in Rolling Stone, which seems like it would be great. But let’s be real: Rolling Stone is for pre-teens who will eventually be cool and for people in their 40s who never were.

Plus, you were in an advertorial for cigarettes. And even though you smoke, it’s not, like, a good example for the kids. Plus your mom doesn’t even know, and she’s not sending you care packages with an extra $20 for your American Spirits.

CONTINUED »

Voyeurs, rejoice. If you’ve been following the Jakob Lodwick-Julia Allison drama from their separate tumblr blogs, you may have grown tired of reading about Julia’s new apartment and Jakob’s plans for Vimeo.

Well, Jakob and Julia have made following their lives easier than ever. The two have joined forces and launched jakobandjulia.com, a site devoted to their relationship. Thanks, guys!

Remarkably, the fight over whether it should be juliaandjakob.com is not online.

CONTINUED »

Bushwick may not get a lot of foot traffic, it certainly has a lot of Web traffic. 255 McKibbon Street, home to loft parties and articles about loft parties, has its own Wikipedia page, complete with 12 references.

Why? For the same reason they have loft parties: Because they can.

[Curbed]

• Jon Friedman suddenly has a problem kow-towing to the famous. [Marketwatch]

• Hipsters don't just have their own language, they have their own scripted series. [NYO]

• Another roadblock to gay rights: Calling someone a "faggot" just doesn't conjure the same uproar "spic" ever does. [AfterElton]

• The Los Angeles Times receives an envelope filled with a white powdery substance. It's either sugar, anthrax, or Dean Baquet's stash. (Note the "From a Times Staff Writer" byline.) [LAT]

• It's always wise to take advice from someone with a cocktail in hand at a party. Especially when that hand belongs to Alex Kuczynski and the advice is about lipo-ing your ass. [NYO]

• Two of Boston's richest (including former GE chief Jack Welch) consider making a bid for the Boston Globe. Owner NYT maintains it's not for sale, though its dignity is. [Boston Globe]

Who has the best happy hour in the East Village? If you don't guess Continental, well, then just get out of here. The St. Marks bar, which always collects a solid crowd of punk rockers, is facing its last days of glory. Page Six reports the clubs last live show will be Sept. 16, with a "supergroup" gathering on stage.

The last band to grace the stage will be a "supergroup" comprised of Dictators frontman "Handsome" Dick Manitoba, Lenny Kaye from Patti Smith's band, C.J. Ramone and Daniel Rey. (Until last week, the farewell show was to be local hardcore heroes Murphy's Law on Sept. 15.) And the legendary Bowery club CBGB will shut down for good after funk/punk mainstays Fishbone rock the main stage on Sept. 30.

So tragic. How will the doormen at the MisShapes party ever handle the overflow that's sure to occur as a result of displaced skinny jeans rockers?

FINAL FAREWELL [Page Six]

• Mayor Bloomberg urges the homeless to leave the streets. Whereas Guiliani just booted them out. [NYT]

• Why shouldn't we charge tourists more for a hot dog? Doesn't being a New Yorker get you any priorities anymore? [amNY]

• It’s bad enough when your subway train stalls — but when it’s around 100 degrees and you're stuck with little kids and crap … it's just the worst. [NYDN]

• The Williamsburg kids rocking black jeans shorts and 80's headphones are not too thrilled about the addition of a Water Taxi to their exclusive nabe. But, nobody wants to go there … so hopefully they can carry on in isolation from all the regular people. [NY Sun]

• Honestly, the only people who go to galleries are the ones who pay $50 for imported bubble gum anyway. [NYP]

• Arianna Huffington launches a new blog for us chew on. [Eat the Press]

• Why a magazine aimed towards the gay community insists on putting straight people on the cover is beyond us. And to think we had so much hope for Aaron Hicklin. [Gawker]

• We were under the distinct impression that most NYC "hipsters" had parents who actually could afford to buy them co-ops. They just chose to live in Bushwick for the only street cred white people get. [Curbed]

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will not be getting married now, or possibly ever. That's the cue for you all to leave your "illegitimate bastard" comments. [AP]

• Oh, yeah. Magazines have a design department, too. So, feel free to blame Maxim entirely on them. [Mediabistro]

• Metal keys are just so last year [NY Sun]

• How New York does breast cancer awareness: "The breasts hang on the wall solo or in pairs." [NYT]

• Nothing wakes your ass up in the morning like a nice, big warehouse fire. [Gothamist]

• Much to our dismay, some people actually want to show up on hipster photoblogs. [Last Night's Party]

• A newspaper starts a program to help the city recycle it. [FBNY]

Because that "It Boy" story wasn't douchey enough, we felt the need to bring you six pages of chow-chow on American Apparel guru Dov Charney. The subject is just so perfect for the New York Times magazine.

Forget that Charney's in Los Angeles, yo — he's Jewish, owns an understated hipster clothing line, has been profiled by Alex Kuczynski, advertises on Gawker, and is super controversial.

Dov Charney proudly refers to himself as a "Jewish hustler." But he is quite possibly the most unorthodox Jew in the history of the shmatte business. A complicated, charismatic and occasionally controversial figure — he is currently facing a sexual harassment suit — Charney is so acutely in tune with the cultural moment that he is somehow able to use the plain blank T-shirts that he sells to convey potent messages concerning contemporary sex and politics.

Nothing says current sexual and political culture like plain white sweatshop-free wife beaters made by a guy accused of sexual harassment.

Our favorite Times quote of the day, however, explains what makes American Apparell so freakin' awesome.

In an updated 21st-century way, the American Apparel ideal is Charney's Young Metropolitan Adult, the hottie (male or female) from the 'hood, whom you might see walking down the street, at the local coffee shop or working behind the counter at an American Apparel store.

To which we respond: seriously, what the shit? Since when is Orchard Street "the 'hood?" Just because some fucktard is a hoodie wearing street hipster (and walking down the street) does not make him from the 'hood. Hey, Jaime Wolf, why don't you go ahead and ask 50 Cent the last time he chilled with the Times magazine in his nabe's local Starbucks, or worked behind the counter for an American Apparel store?

Actually, don't. We don't want to be responsible for you getting shot in the head.

And You Thought Abercrombie & Fitch Was Pushing It? [Jaime Wolf, New York Times Magazine]
Earlier: Just Don't Call Them 'It' Boys. Or Gay

• Thomas Dolby isn't impressed with Kevin Federline's rap, or his illegal sampling of Dolby's hit She Blinded Me With Science. The song in question, America's Most Hated has been removed from Federline's MySpace account, but the battle is far from over. Why didn't Britney Spears get a prenup? [MTV]

• Avril Lavigne is planning a summer wedding in Beverly Hills, complete with circus performers and "known" rock bands. So we guess that means her husband won't be performing. [TMZ]

• Former Fugee and ghetto superstar Pras panhandled for a day. He made $8, and then tried to eat at The Standard. Thus proving homeless people are smarter than him. [R&M]

• Indie sweetheart Sufjan Stevens announced that he and girlfriend Rosie Thomas are releasing an album and expecting their first child. The sound of hipster hearts breaking ring down on Orchard Street. [Pitchfork Media]

• Great. Daniel Powter's Bad Day, the most obvious song in the world, is the number one single. Again. Now can we stop playing it every time anything sad happens on TV or anyone gets voted off of American Idol? [Billboard]

Oh those crazy hipsters, with their yoga and their comedy shows. Just look at them, looking so 80's grunge like they just crawled out of a Lower East Side American Apparel.

If we saw these people on the street we would totally be like, "fuckin' hipsters, they're just everywhere." You can't even escape them by going to temple anymore.

With Yoga, Comedy and Parties, Synagogues Entice Newcomers [Michael Luo, New York Times]

Ok, we know we didn't bring you a full round-up last week, but we just couldn't bypass a full exposé on Caleb McLoud, the non-hipster who lives in Williamsburg and listens to Interpol.

This week's issue of New York brings us more pathetic New Yorkers. These middle aged "grups" force their poor toddlers to listen to Sufjan Stevens (ok fine, Sufjan's kind of cool) while wearing low-slug Sevens. Our parents may have put us on the floor while they listened to Ricky Lee Jones and Bob Dylan, but their pants came up their belly buttons.

A look back on what it was like smoking in restaurants, the death of Paris Hilton, and Mick Jagger's hunt for the next gal he could sleep with and steal their eyeliner, New York reminds us all that "being cool" only works if everyone else isn't doing the exact same thing.

• Those stroller pushing 30 something scruff bags finally get their day in the sun. We get that these fogies are losers, but must the Death Cab for Cutie listening, iPod toting, converse wearing, snowboarding Park Slopers be compared to the city's 22 year olds? [Up With Grups , Adam Sternbergh]

• On a scale of one to ten, Kurt Andersen's celeb obsession is about a six. And we're at about a 9.5 and we don't know who Julie Delpy is either. [Celebrity Death Watch, Kurt Andersen]

• News Flash: Despite the fact that New Yorkers can no longer smoke in restaurants, people are still eating in them. [Ashes to Ashes, Robin Raisfeld & Rob Patronite]

• And you thought Gael Green had some risqué Cosmopolitan adventures. [The Day Joplin Had the Clap, Beth Landman]

• Em & Lo are back with their discovery of booty texting. Apparently, Americans are far behind Europeans on this one … and Em & Lo are about two years behind NYU students. [I Want Your Text, Em & Lo]

• The Hilton sisters are getting more ridiculous than ever thought possible. We just hope these Paris and Nicky cartoons aren't being aimed towards kids. [Sun]

• They came, they ran, they almost killed a reporter … who doesn't love circus elephant day in Midtown? [Gothamist]

• Nicole Richie hits on somebody her own size. [People]

• According to MSNBC, Paula Abdul, like most American Idol fans, is a fucking idiot. Come on, she's not that stupid, she's just drunk. [MSNBC]

• You will soon here the cries of Yonkers residents crying "the hipsters are coming, the hipsters are coming." [Curbed]

Hipper than hipsters are even more indigestible than hipsters who embrace their "I came to New York because life elsewhere didn't accept my need to rollerskate with my shirt off," mentality.

Denise Penny's "Ask a Shop Clerk" column profiles Caleb McLoud, a young guy who sports man bangs, is really into bands and film, and lives in Williamsburg.

DP: Are you a hipster?

CM: No, I’m a southern kid from Nashville who always wanted to live in New York because all my favorite bands and movies were from here. I do live in Williamsburg.

Just one of the many Urban Dictionary definitions of "hipster":

The modern Bohemians. A mid-twenties person who works at a low paying job, is interested in "Artsy things"

Aw, you're right. We're not being fair. We're sure working man Caleb makes enough bank at Cloak to keep him in haircuts and Interpol records.

Ask a Shop Clerk [Denise Penny, New York]