Sure, they may not get delivered in time, but what better way to say "Merry Christmas" to someone than with a stocking stuffed with … really expensive shit. Women's Wear Daily has teamed with a series of designers it's supposed to be uninfluenced by to create a series of top notch stockings for that special someone under the mistletoe, now available for purchase on eBay. (Proceeds go to charity, yey!)
And no, the Heatherette stocking does not include Amanda Lepore.
Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake may have the hottest viral video of the week, but "Dick In A Box" as a Christmas gift has nothing on this homoerotic send up to, uh, we're not really sure what. But this video probably belongs on Queerty much more than it does here, but Thursdays are the new Fridays, and we'll post the conversation between your multiple personalities at this point.
A holiday note from NYT public editor Byron Calame, explaining why the Grey Lady is unloading gobs of serious journalism on your front page this time of year:
During just the first three days of this week, seven long stories from various series appeared on the front page of the paper, my assistant Joseph Plambeck has found. Readers who move along at 250 words a minute would need to spend an average of 20 minutes each morning just to get through the approximately 15,000 words from those articles in the past three days.
Why this deluge of fine journalism just when many readers are already busy with holiday activities? I’m fairly certain it’s because Dec. 31 is a deadline for the most significant journalism contests. Editors at The Times, like those at many other newspapers, probably are rushing out the final installments of important series so they can be included in the entry package in various contests.
And also, as any good publicist knows, it's always best to unload the most damming and important news at the precise moment nobody is going to give a crap.
NBC Nightly News staffers got bombed last night. At least that's what we've surmised from Brian Williams' "Early Night" segment, where he tell us:
A lot of us are suffering physically today from various ailments, all of them stemming from the annual NBC Nightly News holiday outing. That is a hint, we'll talk about the venue on my blog later this afternoon, the Daily Nightly, and go through a list of the injuries we found at work today. … For us, it is a strict regimen – for some of us at least – of Advil.
That, or those NBC Universal cost cutting measures meant staffers were treated to a snooze of a party with a couple turns going around the Rockfeller Center ice rink.
• Even after reading what went on inside the New York Film Critics Circle, we're still not sure what went down.
• David Carr: Rewarding readers for reading is stupid.
• Surprise! Good Day New York is just a marketing show for its own properties.
• Newsday EIC John Mancini says there will be no punishment for the 113 newsroom staffers who signed the petition sent to Tribune Co.
• So far it's a holiday season filled with parties sans food.
• NY1 plays defense with Adele Sammarco sexual harassment scandal.
Sure, you may have missed the appropriate date Emily Post would suggest you send your baby shower gift to Katie Holmes by, but that doesn't mean you can't give a special someone a piece of Katie's happy family. Those wise fellas at NPR – and they're all smarter than you, even the PAs – behind such esteemed programming as All Things Considered and Talk of the Nation are taking a moment away from their busy schedules discussing nuclear weapons in Iran and the plausibility of Barack Obama being your next president to put together a holiday gift list of celebrity-inspired shlock.
NPR calls it their First Ever Holiday Craft Contest. But any "contest" that encourages Mel Gibson menorahs and a Baby Suri angel for your Christmas tree (pictured) should really be called the "First Ever Invitation for the Crazies, Scientologists, and Anti-Semitics to Throw Shards of Glass at Robert Siegel."
We haven't been this depressed by local morning gabfests since Sam Champion turned down the dial on gay jokes a full 1 percent. But thankfully there's "Anne About Town," a not-quite-glorified take on man-on-the-street segments from Fox 5. And as you'd expect, it's a horrible disaster as none of the gawkers are willing to donate even a business card to help decorate what can barely be referred to as a tree. (At long last, a MetroCard makes its way into the pine needles for the grand finale.)
It's no Keith Olbermann sock puppet, but on yesterday's Studio B (with Trace Gallagher filling in), viewers were treated to Julie Banderas stroking what just might be this Christmas' biggest seller.
• Barbara Walters would've loved to have the O.J. Simpson interview, but those damn ethics and ABC Standards & Practices keep getting in the way. The Juice, meanwhile, fesses up to his rationale behind the book: "blood money."
• Caitlin Flanagan learns to never say never, especially when it comes to The New Yorker.
• Who else but Howard Rubenstein can save Michael Richards? He's gonna need it, thanks to new accusations of – wait for it! – anti-Semitism.
• Yup, watching Katie Couric stand in front of rolling credits for nearly a minute and a half is definitely more painful than just reading about it.
• Tom and Katie nearly ruined MSNBC anchor Alison Stewart's honeymoon.
• Get into the holiday spirit with MUG's thorough calendar of events.
We promised ourselves we'd lay off the inevitable Halloween coverage some of our sister blogs are taking part in, but we couldn't resist passing on the above: Our very own Molly Goodson, of MollyGood, dressed up as Britney Spears during her Matt Lauer interview (that's her boyfriend Kjell playing Mr. No Socks). And there are plenty more photos where that came from. Now get your Borat thong costume out — it's nearly trick-or-treatin' time.
Yesterday, three types of rockets blasted off from earth. Two of them good. One of them bad. Any guesses?
• Watch as Anderson Cooper and Charlie Rose go head to head. Although alcohol isn't served at this event, it'll definitely be a superior experience if you're tanked. (Tues. 6/27) [NYM]
• Who said white boys can't rap? Who said white British boys can't rap? Mike Skinner wants to prove you all wrong. (Tues. 6/27) [Loose Record]
• When it's Joan Didion depression is almost fun. (Fri. 6/30) [Summer Stage]
• Need a guaranteed Jake Gyllenhaal sighting? Go listen to his dad Steven Gyllenhaal read. And ask for Jake's number. And to see baby pictures of him. Steve would love it. (Wed. 6/28) [Used Book Cafe]
• No GYWO is complete without free booze. And in honor of the holiday weekend, these environmentally conscious folk want to give you free Brooklyn beer. (Sun. 7/2) [MyOpenBar]
Update: Unfortch, Anderson Cooper won't be attending tonight's reading. Bad east coast weather (where? what?) is keeping him trapped in New Orleans. But Don't toss that ticket stub just yet (like you ever would). Use it at the rescheduled event on Thursday, June 29 at 7 pm or cash it in tonight to see Charlie Rose interview Kevin Spacey. Heh, not a bad deal, right? 92Y's Andrew Krucoff has the full report.
New York's newspapers are all abuzz today with the news that native New Yorker Jennifer Lopez stepped off the red carpet to cheer and celebrate Puerto Rican Day at yesterday's parade with her husband Marc Anthony. She was so full of cheer, J.Lo even walked a whole 20 blocks in high heels.
Wearing a gold dress and high heels, Lopez walked the first 20 blocks of the parade route before hopping into a yellow convertible to drive the rest of the way to raucous cheers.
But not all went perfectly for the glamour couple - a float with a video screen promoting their upcoming movie "El Cantante" broke down at E. 74th St. and had to be towed to the parade's finish, 12 blocks north.
At which point J.Lo threw her hands in the air and said, "I walked 20 freakin' blocks for this shit and my movie didn't even get promoted?" But maybe Marc can make up for it by taking out a congratulations on being Puerto Rican advertisement in Variety.
Jenny steals their hearts [Daily News]
Earlier: Marc Anthony Just Took Out an Ad to Say He Loves Her
Hey everybody! Guess what? Today is a New York holiday. We think.
We're really not quite sure what this mysterious day actually is, since our editor has only lived in Brooklyn for about six months and Google News isn't giving us much to work with here, but, it is in fact a special day. Are you ready for this? It's Brooklyn Queens Day!
So, what does this mean for you? Well, as much as we wish it meant you could throw on your wife beater, blast Spanish rap from your Miata, push a stroller, and/or wear tight black jeans, it doesn't.
Actually, this holiday pretty much jack shit unless you are a parent or teacher in Brooklyn or Queens, and even then, nobody really knows what the significance of BQD is. From what we can extrapolate, though, it is a day that parents have to come up with extra money for day care, teachers have to work, and principals get a paid day off.
Or, the principals don't have the day off.
Really, we should just rename it "Media Completes Neglects the Outer Boroughs Day."
Pincipals may skip [Erin Einhonr, Daily News]
$TANDING BY THEIR PRINCIPALS [David Andreatta, New York Post]
Long Live Brooklyn Queens Day [Kenny Bruno, Queens Ledger]
• Lady Liberty opens her crown just in time to catch a view of a lady from Boston with her shorts up her butt. [amNY]
• Want a crappy fortune? Here: "you will find this story mildly interesting but mostly pointless." See, and we didn't even need Cindy Adams' crystal ball. [NY1]
• Terms like "Ninja Monster Bouncer" help keep the murder coverage in the Post a little more upbeat. [NYP]
• Churchgoing people don't really molest and kill children do they? Why isn't anyone reporting on that? [NYDN]
• While we are here, staring outside and updating this blog, everyone else is at the beach. If you, too are at your desk, reading this, here's to hoping those fuckers get rained out. We're not bitter, we swear. [The Beach]
Oh, holidays. Three day weekends. Memorial Day. All the wonderful things that low level editorial assistants, interns, and office managers get to work overtime during so their bosses can go to the Hamptons.
But if you're one of the lucky ones who doesn't have a real job, or has a sugar daddy with a Park Avenue penthouse, this post's for you. Now that there are clubs in the Hamptons, blogger in the Hamptons, and even New York mag journos looking for waiters to write stories about in the Hamptons, it's no longer just a place for crazed PR people to run over droves of party goers or over privileged kids to bark out racial slurs.
We won't be there, but we hope you will try to take advantage of some of the wonderful things this great Long Island beachfront has to over. (Cue cheesy music in your head.)
• Omg, omg, omg. VMA parties? We so bet Carson Daily will come from the beaches of LA to the beaches of NY just to try and tongue you at Boutique! [Shecky's]
• We already told you Pink Elephant (pictured) would be opening. So, we hope you're already on the list.
• The party boys think you should go to the opening of Cain in South Hampton. We love the idea of a bunch of WASPS chilling in an African safari inspired club. Please, please send photos. [Urban Daddy]
• We hear from the coolest person we know that Star Room is going to be jumpin' jumpin'. But, if it sucks, you can blame us for blowing up your spot. If the New York article a few years ago didn't do that already.
• Oh, and we guess at some point, you're going to have to eat, so the new Hamptons blog, The Beach, is there to help you find some alternatives to white wine spritzers. Be prepared for long lines and mediocre service. [The Beach]
And if you're somebody who just loves their job so much you can't force yourself to leave it (or you're just broke) we understand. And we'll be blogging Friday and Monday … so send us your gossip bitches!
&bull, Immigrants do jobs Americans won't do because it's illegal to pay Americans four cents an hour. [NYT]
• Oh maaan, these dogs totally just ruined Fourth of July. [NYP]
• We would suggest that some members of the police department at least attempt to follow a few of New York's traffic laws. Just, you know, make an effort. [Gawker]
• We will no longer go to clubs and bars with bouncers at the door. And not because those places are full of pretentious pricks, but because we don't really feel like getting murdered. [amNY]
Like every good New Yorker, we have our favorite margarita spots. Tortilla Flats, Mary Ann's, and Dos Caminos are sure to be flooded with Friday night yuppies looking to get their sour mix on. If you've been glued to your laptop all day trying to escape into a vat of Don Julio, you are not alone. And since we are always looking for ways to celebrate holidays that have nothing to do with us, check out the suggestions of some of our most beloved NYC guides. (**Which are made even more beloved by the checks they cut our editor.)
• Shecky's has some fabuloso suggestions … we would pass on Mercadito, however. Unless you want to be forced out on the street and get a ticket on the NYPD's favorite open container day. [Shecky's]
• Everyone loves Mexicana Mama, especially the NYU kids who flood the blocks around Union Square at the first sight of sun … and booze. [Citysearch]
• If you have any sort of roof, deck, back porch, or outdoor space suitable for sitting, don't be a dick. Call your bitches up and throw a fiesta. Here, Gothamist will even help you with the drinks. [Gothamist]
• And for all you music freaks who can't go a Saturday without jamming to some live musica, Subatomic Sound System (someone told us they were cool) are playing in the East Village. (Which means they probably aren't cool but whatever, it's cheap.) [Free NYC]
Make sure to knock one back for us!
• Rich New Yorkers stick everyone else with over $11 million of their own sick spouses' medical bills. What economic gap? [NYP]
• Strikes are all the rage. First the transit workers, then the garbage men, and now the only folks protecting residents from their local crazies. [NYP, NYT]
• Protestors in swimsuits and men in rabbit costumes go together like MySpace and pedophiles at the Easter Day Parade. [NYDN]
• Wal-Mart will beg, plead, lie, and steal to convince the New York City Council to let them in. [NY Sun]
• NYPD puts up 500 security cameras to monitor crime and terrorism. Dunkin' Donuts sales expected to raise. [NYT]
• Cats top the news yet again, except this time we're interested. A man who hated his neighbor's feline kidnapped it and had it euthanized. Sans permission, natch.. [NYT]
• Even without any wildlife, our fair city is the 11th worst place for people with allergies. [AMNY]
If you missed the St. Patrick's Day Parade because you were too busy at Trader Joe's, just slept in late, are at work for some odd reason, or are already too drunk to stand, there is still hope to save your day.
And since the PC patrons of this city are boycotting this crazy "no gays" parade Christine Quinn style anyway, you're probably better off.
• New York magazine has a pub crawl that will likely leave you crawling into a cab.
• Don't forget to pick up the Irish Echo. Even if you're too hammered to read, the evidence can help your "kiss me I'm Irish" cause.
• This is one of those times to scalp if you must. Even if you don't get into the The Irish Rock Revue tonight at the Bowery Ballroom, just wait outside … the venue is sure to be filled with hot, drunk Irish musicians.
• Make sure to stop by Shades of Green on 15th and Irving and say hi to the bartenders for us. And bring your pheromone machine.
