Look! In Touch has found a new way to make the number "69" cool again! [In Touch]

Remember when Janice Min used to dedicate entire spreads to calling out her competitors for their factual mistakes? Us Weekly's "Faux News" provided us with endless fodder. Often, Min aimed her ire at Bauer's In Touch and Life & Style for their Brangelina baby news. Worth mentioning, then, that In Touch is calling out none other than Us Weekly for its (supposedly) inaccurate Brangelina baby news: "Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are setting the record straight about their newborn babies, Knox and Vivienne. Angelina denies US Weekly's recent report that she underwent fertility treatments. 'If they had been conceived though IVF, we would have been happy to discuss it,' she tells People magazine about the twins, who were born on July 12. 'But we have been fortunate never to have had fertility problems,' she adds."

The case could be made that we've already over-analyzed the over-analyzing of Brad and Angelina's baby twins as we tried to find the winners and the losers in previous nine months of baby speculation. But we did some digging through our tabloid archives and found a few shining stars among the blight, where some celebrity weeklies fared better in their guessing game — is she having a boy? a girl? twins? two girls? — than others.

It's not an exhaustive examination of every Brangelina-related baby cover of the past year, which would show that every tabloid got some info right and wrong at some point. But treat it as evidence that plenty of folks didn't really know what they were doing, and that "inside sources" could often be replaced by "magic 8-balls" or "Crazy Aunt Zelda."

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The birth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's new twins — son Knox Leon and daughter Vivienne Marcheline — is not just the second coming of Jesus, but also the culmination of nine months (longer if you count the speculation period) of a gossip industry frenzy, where celebrity weeklies flew off the shelves with breathless reports about Brangelina's coming spawn, tabloid entertainment shows drew ratings with each new "bump" report, and the gossip blogs recorded traffic spikes anytime they pasted their pages with Brangelina rants and raves. Everybody had an opinion. Everybody was a spectator. And everybody wanted in.

So now that Angelina finally gave birth, via C-section, in Nice, France, the matter of her pregnancy is all over with. And before we even get to figuring out which tabloid is spending the GDP of some small nations on scoring the first exclusive pictures of Knox and Vivienne (we suggest they split the two up, and sell each kid to separate magazines), there's another matter to clear up.

Namely, who actually was on their game with this Brangelina birthing business, and which media outlets were merely along for the ride, picking up the crumbs while others trailblazed the way with either a roster of excellent sources or, equally as plausible, very lucky guesses.

After all, if the biggest mystery is the sex of the twins, there's a 1-in-4 chance of getting it right.

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Speaking of Us Weekly, the latest circulation reports for the tabloids are out and they've got Keith Kelly explaining why Jann Wenner might be looking to unload the tabloid: After eight years of steady growth, it's missing its rate base of 1.9 million by 4.1 percent! Not that Wenner might, you know, downgrade the rate base a smidge so he wouldn't have to face headlines like this. Elsewhere for the first five months of the year, People is over its 3.425 million rate base by 9.4 percent, OK! is 1 percent above its 900k mark, Star is 5.8 percent above its 1.25 million base, In Touch missed its 1.2 million promise by 0.9 percent, and Life & Style was off its 550k guarantee by 0.7 percent. Barack Obama, won't you save us?

We're hearing big news out of Bauer today: The New Jersey tabloid publisher is moving Richard Spencer to the position of editorial director of Life & Style, though he'll remain editor-in-chief of In Touch. Filling in, then, for Spencer's open EIC slot at L&S, which he took over when Mark Pasetsky vacated the position, is Donna Armstrong, who was running Australia's New Woman magazine after leaving Britain's More, both published by Emap. Dan Wakeford and Michelle Lee, who were the deputies at both tabloids, will stop splitting their duties and move back to In Touch.

And heeeeeere we go. Yesterday we forecasted that In Touch's photos of Angelina Jolie looking very pregnant in France while playing with Zahara and Shiloh would be met with the requisite skepticism, especially since Entertainment Tonight reported Ms. Jolie already gave birth, and they're standing by their story. And it's happening. "Some remain unconvinced," reports Rush & Molloy, that Jolie is still carrying the twins inside her. That photo of her with the belly? "Prosthetic tummy!" So where are the babies? If they were born, they were premature, which means they are "being secretly cared for in a French hospital" until they're strong enough for People or OK! to pay eight-figures to take their photo.

This week In Touch made Los Angeles Times blogger Liz Snead — who's been calling on Angelina Jolie to SHOW YOURSELF!!! – a very happy woman: At last, since Entertainment Tonight first falsely reported the superstar mom had given birth to her twins, there's photo evidence that … she hasn't.

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Comparing Us Weekly to In Touch is both an exercise in futility and the best thing we've read all day. [Magazine Rack]

In other celebrity tabloid insider news, in addition to Us Weekly's Joey Bartolomeo jumping to People, we hear In Touch just removed David Thompson, their West Coast bureau chief, who was described to us as "very strange" and one with "no people skills," and simply wasn't up to the task at hand.

He came aboard at the end of November from OK! (and, before that, The Globe), replacing Martin Gould (now at Star). Gould's deputy at the time was Ashley Dillahunty, who remained the No. 2 on the West Coast as news director when Thompson took over.

Now, it's her turn to shine: Dillahunti has been elevated to the bureau chief spot, while former Us Weekly staffer and 944 Vegas editor-in-chief Abby Tegnelia, who's credited with breaking stories like Angelina Jolie giving birth to Shiloh in Namibia, and someone who's been described to us as "talented" and "unassuming," returns to In Touch to grab Dillahunty's old post.

In the winner's corner: Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer dominated the tabloids this week, with most publications declaring them the hot new couple. There's not much to be negative about, except for the fact that any relationship involving Jen is doomed to fail.

In the loser's corner: Jessica and Ashlee Simpson are competing to see who can make it to the altar first, because isn't that what romance is all about? We can't decide who's the bigger loser in this situation — the Simpsons or their poor significant others.

Also this week: Britney continues to get her act together, Lindsay gets mixed reviews and Angelina is possibly getting married. But don't hold your breath.

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We're switching things up a bit this week: Instead of simply summing up the tabloids, we're presenting the week's winners and losers in the eyes of the magazines. Which publications favor which celebrities? And does the relationship change from week to week?

This time around, Britney seems to have won back the love of the tabs, because not a single bad story was written about her. The mags are split on Lindsay — some say she's in a happy and stable lesbian relationship; others declare that she is off the wagon (again).

And congrats are in order to the biggest loser of the week, Jessica Simpson, who is apparently pathetic and in danger of losing boyfriend Tony Romo. When even the tabloids are pitying you, you know there's a problem.

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Turns out People magazine's Christina Aguilera baby photo issue, which cost them a reported $1.5 million, sold better than the estimated 1.3 million copies originally thought; it moved 1.45 million on the newsstand.

That's one highlighted stat from the latest tabloid data, which shows People up 5 percent year-to-date, with an average 1.5 million copies moving on the newsstand, according to ABC data being released today. The mag's biggest mover? January's Heath Ledger, which sold 1.8m, thanks to it being the only weekly to close late enough to catch the obit. But that issue is expected to be bested by Jennifer Lopez's newborn twins, with estimates of 1.9m.

And how is the competition faring?

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The tabloids had a good variety of stories this week, with one Angelina and three Britney covers. Life & Style was the only magazine to get desperate with the typical "celebrities starve themselves to get skinny" cover story. Trailblazers, those L&S staffers.

There is, as usual, a plethora of Spears family stories covering Brit's mental illness and Jamie Lynn's upcoming wedding. It's nothing we didn't already know — except for Star's made-up story about Britney and Kevin rekindling their romance. That was very creative.

Also this week: Lindsay realizes she looks old, Perez Hilton needs attention and Jason Wahler stars in yet another reality show. Count us out.

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The tabloids were desperate this week, resorting to Brangelina lies and "Stars Without Makeup!" cover stories. Somehow, Ashlee Simpson's nosejob became relevant again, earning her the front page of Us Weekly. Congrats?

Everyone is still grasping at straws when it comes to Britney — this time she's about to declare bankruptcy and she hates her new life. Not outrageous enough, if you ask us.

Also this week: Lindsay makes excuses, Matthew McConaughey is gross and Heidi Montag gives an exclusive Lauren-bashing. Actually, none of that is particularly new.

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