• Sharon Stone may be bringing her special brand of crazy to the recording studio. What good is she without her crotch flashing? [Page Six]

• Madonna is house hunting in Israel, bringing their celebrity citizen count to at total of one. One crazy leotarded lady. [The Scoop]

• We can't let this one go: Death Row Records may be on, uh, death row, after Suge Knight missed yet another court appearance. Damn it. Now who's going to release all of Tupac's "new" records? [Billboard]

• There are a few options for what to do if your iPod battery dies. Shut up, your daddy's totally gonna' just buy the newest version anyway. [ChiTri]

• Sony isn't making all the money off Prince's new release, and some heads are gonna roll. Who would've thunk this would be his number one album? [Gatecrasher]

• Wait a minute, Mariah Carey is now asking reporters to punch her in the stomach? We'd pay to see that. Hell, we'd participate. [Page Six]

• Scott Stapp was freed of charged for public intoxication while boarding a plane for his honeymoon. Stapp promises that someday we won't be hearing about him in tabloids anymore. We're keeping our fingers crossed. [People]

• Someone made Jay-Z pay for a drink? What is the world coming to? [Lowdown]

• Two men may be sentenced for up to eleven years in prison for pirating Ryan Adam's music. Adam, however, was too high to make an official statement. [MSNBC]

• Two Million people have downloaded "My Humps" as their cellphone ringer. We are absolutely thrilled that this song is actually following us everywhere we go, and that it's not only in our heads. [DMN]

• Luther Vandross may have been gay, but he sure got a lot of men into a lot of women's pants in his day. [R&M]

• Even though Mariah Carey is proud of her newly toned body, the Page Six folks don't exactly want to touch it. [Page Six]

• You better not show up at a party at the same time as Madonna or she may just whip out her leotard and high kick you. [Lowdown]

• Or she might offer up her explanation of how she passed her "mommy pop star energy" to "baby pop star" Britney Spears. [People]

• Rod Stewart has been ordered to pay $3 million to a Vegas casino after he bailed on New Years 2000. Though perhaps they should be paying him? [Billboard]

• Tony Blair may not be able to use an iPod, but we doubt Bush even knows how to turn on a computer. [The Register]

• Cam'ron just can't let his one-sided rivalry go. But you know all the Jay-Z jabs in the world won't get Cam ahead of the hip-hop king's game. [MTV]

• The Nation rocks the boat with their new blog. Wittingly called The Notion. [Notion]

• Ok, it was all a big prank. But this doesn't at all mean Ryan Seacrest is straight. [Trentonian]

• AMI snatches another Hachetteite. David Leckey joins his pals David Pecker and John Miller over at One Park. [Media Week]

• Holy blognerds. The New York Observer got something even better than permalinks: a real blog. [The Daily Observer]

• Consumers are buying billion of dollars worth of iPods and accessories. Coming next: the iPod hearing aids. (All those Jane girls are gonna' look pretty freakin' stupid with a Belltone.) [NYT]

Now that Dick Cheney has one…

Maybe brief hospital visits due to shortness of breath will see a spike, too.

Jobs: Apple sales hit $5.7B in Dec. quarter [Market Watch]

• Barry Gibb decides to re-hash the good old days by purchasing Johnny Cash's house. [AP News]

• Now celebs you haven't heard from in years are jumping on the divorce trend. [AP]

• You've already downloaded it, but Arctic Monkeys tired to stop you by rushing out their album a week early. [NME]

• IPods might hurt your ears, but at least you can't catch mad cow disease from them. Unless you bought your iPod at a Wal-Mart in Honolulu. [Local 6 News]

• And, here comes the New York Times, two weeks later, asking now irrelevant questions. [NYT]

• We all want to take Jamie Foxx seiously, but, unfortunately we can't just erase Booty Call.
[MTV]

• Since Miami is giving everyone asthma, St. Bart's sounds like it was the better choice for New Years. Then again, it's a close call between custom karaoke or some Libyan dictator's children and Enrique Iglesias. [Rush & Molloy]

• Ok, please don't start a riot when we tell you tell this, but Jordan Knight and Jeff Timmons are getting together. No, not like hooking up — they're actually performing again. Both of them. Together. So gross. [Gothamnist]

• It's official. Rich hipster posers who listen to Sufjan Stevens are now called "yupsters." If you need an example, Newsweek suggests watching The O.C so you can get hip to the lingo of today's street culture. [MSNBC]

• Because our president isn't too busy trying to clean up the mess he has made of this world, he definitely has time to listen to Pink's letter-via-song to him. Or, maybe Dick Cheney could just download it onto his iPod. [MTV]

• Pete Townshend can't admit he's too old to hear, so he's making something up about iPods. Maybe him and Foxy Brown should start some kind of support group? [AP News]

From Dick Cheney to the streets of New York, iPods are the ones putting us all at risk. It's comforting to know that, at least, the news has their priorities straight.

The dangers of iPod oblivion [CNN]
Cheney's iPod Takes Top Priority on Extended Flight [ABC News]