Life-ruiner Lara Logan secretly wed her defense contractor lover Joe Burkett in a New York ceremony several weeks ago, and we're only hearing about it now because it's not so much a joyous occasion when you already pretty pregnant and he's just left his wife and you've thrown Michael Ware overboard.
Don't bother buying them any wedding gifts either, since Lara can just fill up her new four bedroom house in DC with all those spoils of war souvenirs she took from Iraq. Because customs gave her a free pass for stealing portraits of Saddam instead of signing up for her secret wedding registry.
Cramazingly, this paper was being hawked out on the street with the NY Daily and Metro today. The typefont is a little wonky, but yep, that's definitely the Times from July, 2009, telling us that the war is over and Bush is indicted on treason and they are finally going to build some more bike lanes. (Glad someone was listening.)
But unfortunately, these papers didn't come fresh out of the Delorean, but are the sociopolitical hoax of two infamous pranksters:
CONTINUED »
CBS News senior foreign correspondent, homewrecker and ruins-salvager Lara Logan can sure juggle a lot of responsibilities. Adding motherhood to the list, she might just want to keep the story of how she got those men in Iraq to swoon all over her a secret. But haha, secrets…Lara Logan knows no such word!
Who said the traditional sitcom was dead (besides us, earlier this week)? USA Network just green-lit a project that combines the hilarity of a hospital drama with the comedy-ripe goldmine of the Iraq War:
CONTINUED »
Presidential candidate John McCain appeared at a town hall meeting in New Mexico today. And, for some reason, tacitly endorsed the draft.
It all went down when an audience member turned the topic toward veteran's rights and said, quite astoundingly, "If we don't reenact the draft I don't think we will have anyone to chase Bin Laden to the gates of hell."
To this McCain replied, "Ma'am let me say that I don't disagree with anything you said and thank you and I am grateful for your support of all of our veterans."
So McCain would rather force America's young men to serve in the military than lift Don't Ask, Don't Tell, which has deprived our military of an estimated 12,000 able soldiers? That's simply mind boggling.
Watch the video above. We've included a transcript after the jump…
CONTINUED »
All My Children, that soap opera you consumed for twelve hours of when you were stuck at home post-yanking of your wisdom teeth, launched an open casting call for a real-life Iraq war veteran. Well, that sounds like it might actually be a good idea, in that it may bring the reality of war home for a demographic that prefers its stories fictionalized. Like on Army Wives. Oh wait, no.
CONTINUED »
A long time ago, in a kingdom not so far away, a young Jossip editrix named Corynne decided it might be fun to interview her gossip, media and PR peers in a semi-regular (and uncharacteristically earnest) feature she creatively entitled “Jossiping.” In honor of our predecessor, we’ve decided to bring back the tradition, one informal sit-down at a time.
This week: raronauer catches up with an Anonymous Reporter who summered in Baghdad this year. From A.R., we learned that war reporters are just as hardcore as you imagined, but bloggers can drink them under table. CONTINUED »
This just in: "The U.S. military says it will file a criminal case in an Iraqi court against an Associated Press photographer, but refuses to disclose the charges. The AP strongly protested the decision." In completely unrelated news, unlicensed (and typically uncredentialed) paprazzi are free to continue exercising their constitutional right to stalk people and sell invasive pictures of them for money. [Yahoo]
A wise man* once asked, "War, what is it good for?" then answered his own question with "Nothing." Almost, Edwin! The correct answer is actually $147 billion, and counting.
The Bush administration on Monday asked Congress for nearly $46 billion in additional war spending for 2008, calling on U.S. lawmakers to approve the money before adjourning for the holidays…The administration has already sought $147 billion for 2008. Most of that money goes to Iraq, which is currently costing the Pentagon an estimated $2 billion a week.
Looks like our country's not just learning about geography—we're also getting a much-needed lesson in arithmetic. And to think this morning we were bitching about how much we shell out each week on that NYSC membership…
*OK, fine, it was Edwin Starr
An Iraqi reporter for the Washington Post was fatally shot in Baghdad over the weekend, proving once again that this war was a giant fucking miscalculation reporting from the front lines of an active war-zone is still extremely dangerous. [WaPo]
In addition to admitting he had some reservations about invading Iraq for no reason whatsoever, Donald Rumseld has one more revealing confession, namely that he's frighteningly inept in terms of completely irrelevant pop culture.
Reading a story about Paris Hilton, [Rumsfeld] asks his wife, Joyce, "Sweetheart? What's a hair extension?" He's also baffled when a conductor on a train tells him about a "terrible tragedy" - "Anna Nicole Smith has died."
Quick someone find this man an Us Weekly! And, while you're at it, some weapons of mass destruction.
Oh, Shmuel "Crazy Eyes" Tennenhaus! Unable to land a gig on American Media Inc.'s One Park Avenue – party because of casting, partly because the show is shelved – he's taken to submitting home video clips to ABC News' "Be Seen, Be Heard" segment. ABC took the bait and aired the above clip, wherein Shmuely offers his solution to solving Iraq's problems.
"No fair!" cries the L.A. Times. While NBC and MSNBC received all the attention – beginning, and we hoped ending, yesterday – for calling the Iraq debacle a "civil war," the embroiled Tribune Co. rag points out that it began calling last month! "Without public fanfare," even.
NBC's decision, which came after a particularly deadly series of retaliatory attacks in Baghdad, makes it the first television network to officially adopt the term "civil war," a description the Bush administration has resisted.
The Times was the first major news organization to formally adopt the description when it began to refer to the hostilities as a civil war in October, without public fanfare. No other major media outlet has made the phrase a matter of policy, although it has cropped up in various news reports.
Though with so much effort defending planned job cuts at the paper and a revolving door of editors and publishers, it's surprising to see the LAT was even able to get their whine across the wires. (Just like CBS!) And, to be fair, doesn't Time (and every lefty political blog out there) get some credit for at least calling it a civil war in foresight?*
(* Yes, we know it's a spoof cover, and it has a typo. That it's a spoof is sort of the point.)
• God help us if it's Details that's chronicling the new class war.
• Celebrities who blog finally receive well-deserved attention.
• Cute! The WSJ gets to the bottom of those annoying underlined text link ads you've seen (and read about) everywhere.
• Lindsay Lohan throws some kerosene on her Paris Hilton feud, claiming the heiress threw a drink at her.
• Sixth grade math puts the cost of canceling the O.J. Simpson book-interview extravaganza at $10 million.
• NBC and MSNBC begin calling Iraq a "civil war." Tony Snow certain to get angry.
• We love a hefty Ken Auletta media piece in The New Yorker (this week: Lou Dobbs!). We don't love having to choose just one punchline from thousands and thousands of words of copy.
• Publicists: Leave David Carr alone for a while, and he just might talk to you.
• Tom Mazzarelli begins staffing up Fox's morning show, with nary a Today show staffer in sight.
• Simon Dumenco read skimmed Reader's Digest, and lived to tell about it.
We're positively sure that while Anderson Cooper is over in Lebanon, the one thing in the forefront of his mind is fashion. Well, ok, it's at least on the forefront of Simon Doonan's mind. Boy sure knows how to rock the BP vest.
After watching Anderson Cooper’s intrepid reports last week, I am totally convinced that there is room for style on the battlefield. Somehow or other, Gloria’s handsome lad, while dodging bombs in Lebanon, became a style icon. Damn him! He looks so wickedly handsome and au courant! His preferred garments—a cobalt-blue sports shirt under a matte-black top-stitched bulletproof vest—have a definite whiff of the Belgian fashion designer Raf Simons or vintage Helmut Lang about them. As a result, Mr. Cooper gets my fashion-in-the-face-of-adversity award.
Doonan has already explained that we can't make fun of him for being so gay, because "fashion has always played an important role in wartime." True, true. That would be such an interesting article: how wartime attire has inspired current fashion staples. Doonan's piece goes on to talk about Wall Street power suits and why if female brokers wanna' party, they should wear wigs.
Anderson’s Wartime Chic Is De Trop on Wall Street [Simon Doonan, New York Observer]
Recently, this huge trend in cable news has developed. (This is, of course, based on the Jeff Bercovici theory of trends in which three people doing something makes it a trend no matter what.)
Turns out US cable networks, in an attempt to keep up with the BCC, are no longer sending their scrappy stringer reporters overseas to report on the war, violence, and havoc that is prominent is such bad, scary places like “the Middle East.†(You know, there's like a war or something going on, a few bombing here and there … important stuff.)
So important, in fact, that the networks are sending their big-wig anchors to various posts around the desert land. NBC’s Brian Williams, ABC’s Charles Gibson, CBS’ Bob Schieffer, and CNN’s Soledad O’Brien and Anderson Cooper will all be covering the news from the other side With visions of Bob Woodruff exploding in their heads.
Oh, and let’s not forget … NBC is also sending Ann Curry. As was mentioned about 2,000 times on the Today show this morning — through the clenched smile of Matt Lauer of course.
Look, whether you are pro-war, anti-war, or don't really remember there is a war until you see Bush on TV, there's one thing you have to admit. Our boys are getting pretty lonely over in that there desert without the companionship of a pretty girl.
So, that's why the Army wants all you model looking girls out there to start eating an extra granola bar a day and get your hot ass over to the nearest recruitment station.
And don't forget to pack your blowdryer and water bra. It would really lift the troops' moral to have you looking like this girl in the advertisement.
An Army Of One Model/Actress [Copyranter]
Yesterday, Bob Woodruff, who is still being referred to in the present tense as "ABC News anchor" visited his old New York studio for the first time since being injured during a bombing in Iraq on January 29 of this year.
Woodruff surprised his coworkers (former coworkers?) with the visit, and was greeting by lots of cheering and clapping and warm embraces.
"You could literally see the emotion in each hug. There was barely a dry eye."
Woodruff talked about his rehabilitation, how he wanted to get back to work and how wonderful it was to spend time with his four children, Banner wrote.
"There are a lot of happy faces around the newsroom today," he said.
The joyous tale ends like this:
He was World News Tonight co-anchor with Elizabeth Vargas at the time of his injury, and Charles Gibson is now the sole anchor of the broadcast.
Maybe instead of being greeting with pictures of rainbows and stuffed bunnies and sunshine, he would have preferred ABC greeting him with a job? Hmm. Maybe Elizabeth Vargas needs a manny?
ABC News anchor Woodruff visits newsroom [USA Today, AP]
We hate to be the bearers of bad news … well, unless that news is of a celebrity car crash … but, we wouldn't be covering the media if we didn't inform you of the happenings abroad.
In the wake of Bob Woodruff's injuries we have just come across this breaking news from Iraq:
Two members of the CBS News team, cameraman Paul Douglas and soundman James Brolan, were killed today in Baghdad when the military unit they were embedded in was attacked. In addition, CBS correspondent Kimberly Dozier was seriously injured and is in critical condition.
They were reporting on patrol with the 4th Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, when their convoy was struck by a roadside bomb.
The attack was among a slew of car and roadside bombs left about three dozen people dead before noon Monday, including one explosion that killed 10 people on a bus.
So, out of respect for this tragic turn of events, we will not make fun of CBS for the rest of the day.
Deadly Attack On CBS News Crew [CBS News]
Editorial Director
