You thought a Joe the Plumber book was bad? Try bagged-lunch lady Ivanka Trump as this generation's Virginia Wolff, but you know, without all the depression and suicide and with way more money.
Or yeah, just like Sylvia Plath, if The Bell Jar had referred to the crystal wedding gifts bestowed upon her during her Jewish(?) marriage to one of the youngest newspaper titans in the world. And used words like "meritocracry."
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Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump are finally getting married! Well, once Ivanka converts over to Judaism, which is standard practice for becoming a big name in the media world. Kushner owns the Observer and Ivanka is a Trump, so this wedding should be featured prominently in the Sunday Fashion & Style section of The New York Times.
But not if their Rabbi has anything to say about it.
As we reported in 2001, Rabbi Haskel Lookstein of Congregation Kehillath Jeshurun on East 85th led his flock to boycott the Times over "biased and unfair coverage" of Israel and the Mideast, and got 1,000 subscribers to bail.
Is picking a Times-hating Rabbi Kushner's subtle dig at the competition? Lord knows NYT needs those subscribers back now.
On Morning Joe right now, the hosts quiz early riser, Celebrity Apprentice host, and brown bagger Ivanka Trump on the thesis that reality TV is booooring these days. You know, the thesis that the Times put forth on Sunday. See: Sometimes somebody other than The Drudge Report dictates the news cycle.
Yesterday there was news that Ivana Trump was a lukewarm supporter of Palin, because the two had once met in Alaska and they were both "down to earth." Roit. Anyway, today daughter Ivanka, she of the jewelry lines and modeling career, is starting a brown bag lunch service with ConAgra.
Because, right, Ivanka Trump totes sees where you are coming from with this whole "eating" thing, and she wants to help:
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Turns out Sarah Palin has a hero other than Davey Crocket: the governor once drove two hours to Anchorage for an opening of Ivana Trump's perfume and jewelry line:
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BREAK UPS New York Observer owner Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump are no longer building the world's best-looking real estate behemoth you'd like to take behind closed doors and do all sorts of naught things to. [P6]
Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.
afflatus \uh-FLAY-tus\ noun : a divine imparting of knowledge or power : inspiration
The recent Thursday Styles piece on Ivanka Trump makes her success seem like the result of her own hard work, not afflatus or her father's name.
[Photo Credit: WireImage]
Even though the 2008 campaign is a total downer, some celebrities have opted not to watch enough Hills to make them forget all about it. And a few even donated money.
Showing how meaningless money is to her, Ivanka Trump donated $1000 to Tom Vilsack before he owned up to the futility of his candidacy and left the race. Ivanka also donated a grand to sure thing candidate Hillary Clinton.
In her donation form, Ivanka described her employment as “self” and “model.” Her description makes sense considering how much she’s spent on herself to maintain her modeling career.
[HuffPo]
• Ashlee Simpsons gives her personal eyebrow tweezer altogether way too much credit.
• Lindsay Lohan is supposedly broke. She's also supposedly sober, but we don't believe that one, either.
• Britney continues to spend way too much money on worthless crap at the local drugstore; paparazzi/media continue to spend way too much time over-thinking it.
• Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Either that or gigantic fake breasts.
• Kate Hudson discovers that Owen Wilson is a manic depressive with suicidal tendencies, nonetheless finds him to be a "better catch" than Dax Shepard.
"Monday will deliver a milestone in presidential campaign history, as user-generated video drives a debate," wrote CNN as part of its pre-YouTube debate marketing bonanza.
But how much of the content was really user-generated? And how much of it was indirectly manufactured by CNN?
HuffPo looks to the questioners for answers.
• When asked to clarify his feelings on Dow Jones, Ron Burkle winked and said, "Yeah, you know I'd like to get a piece of that," before reaching up for a high-five.
• Ivanka Trump has zero interest in joining morning trainwreck otherwise known as The View.
• Impossibly, the Conrad Black jury claims they're utterly incapable of unanimously reaching a (guilty) verdict.
• Michael Moore "live-chats" with HuffPo about healthcare, politics and, of course, how much he hates Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
• Amy Jacobson 'devastated' over termination. "I thought they would suspend me and then support me," she tells the Chicago Sun-Times.
• Reputed rivalry between Tina Brown and Graydon Carter gets exponentially more heated boring.
• Ivanka Trump is reportedly competing with Gale King, Whoopi Goldberg, Kathy Griffin and Mario "So Gay He's One Of The Girls" Cantone for Rosie's spot on The View.
• More rumors that celebrity chef Rachael Ray and her hubby of two years might be "slightly overdone."
• Can you imagine going on vacation with Denise Richards, bringing her to a romantic, secluded beach and then dumping her? Richie Sambora can!
• Meet Lance Bass' new main squeeze, Pedro Andrade. He's a good boy, crazy 'bout Elvis, loves horses. And his boyfriend, too.
• Live Earth is a global concert geared towards raising awareness and money in an effort to combat global warming. It's also an excuse for a bunch of prissy Brits to start bitching about Phil Collins.
• Some trashy Italian bird cops to sleeping with Pete Doherty. On purpose.
• Vivica A. Fox didn't just wake up one morning, pound a few drinks and decide to get behind the wheel. Racism made her do it!
• Bruce Willis apparently enjoys flirting with twenty-something model types while his daughter, Rumer watches. Kinky!
• Usher knocks up his fiancee, Tameka Foster. Naturally, Usher's mom, and ex-manager (thanks to Foster!) must be understandably thrilled.
• Despite being physically attractive and sounding like a phone sex operator, Ivanka Trump may nonetheless have some trouble finding a suitor willing to accept The Donald as an inlaw.
• Brittany Murphy claims she and her ex-boyfriend are being stalked by a mysterious kidnapper who occasionally moonlights as a U.S. immigration authorities worker.
• Brooklyn State Assembly member apparently refuses to accept his big, gay son.
Atoosa Rubenstein's career and communication with the outside world may exist mostly on MySpace these days, but that was no matter for Step Up, the for-women-by-women empowerment-slash-charity-slash-action network that hosted its Third Annual Inspiration Awards on Thursday night.
Joined by husband Ari, a couple Miss Seventeen contestants (including the Miss 17), and WNBA vet Kym Hampton, Atoosa spoke about her alpha-kitties, being inspired, and how her job as EIC of Seventeen – a print magazine! – was just too limiting for her to make an impact "on her girls."
That's when we looked over at tablemate Sue Schulz to catch her reaction. Sue, of course, is CosmoGIRL!'s EIC, friend of Atoosa, and her former deputy. That means she also works at a print magazine. How limiting!
Elsewhere, fellow tablemate and presenter Ivanka Trump watched other people eat Godiva chocolate (though Ivanka did have bread! with butter!) and MTV maestra SuChin Pak discussed her red carpet chat with Paris Hilton (read: what you saw was what you got) and how she canceled her trip to South Korea to do Oprah.
WWD's Stephanie Smith, meanwhile, could be spotted outside on a Vespa. That's a sign of women being empowered or something, right?
• Galleycat calls Maureen Dowd a woman-hater; we just call her "Firecrotch."
• In addition to eating ramen noodles and using pretentious words like "sesquipedalian," NYU kids enjoy setting their dorm rooms on fire.
• Michael Jackson to make a cameo on American Idol? Related: next round of Idol auditions to feature Caucasians attempting to moonwalk?
• Ivanka Trump to Paris Hilton: Worst. Heiress. Ever.
• John Edwards' blogger resigns after being branded an "anti-Catholic vulgar trash-talking bigot." What a wuss.
• Can't wait for all the NCAA March Madness to begin? Tide yourself over by filling out an Anna Nicole Baby Daddy Bracket. Seriously.
• It's getting hot in here. So take off all your clothes…EXCEPT the black, control-top pantyhose. Yes, you, Sienna Miller!
• A hopelessly lopsided Ivanka Trump to her plastic surgeon: You're fired!
• Black civil rights activists say Brandy's only being targeted because she's a celebrity; reality says, "nono, Brandy's being targeted because she committed vehicular manslaughter."
• Meanwhile, the family of the real victim slaps Brandy with a wrongful death lawsuit.
• Hilary Duff is the new Lindsay Lohan, y'hear?
• Kelly Ripa, possibly into tea-bagging, definitely not into talking about tea-bagging on the air.
• Despite not being nominated for an Academy Award, Beyonce is so serious about acting that she's started channeling her bitchy diva Dreamgirls character off-screen.
• Ever wish that following trashy gossip was a competitive sport? Well, now it is! Pickyour own fantasy team, cross your fingers and hope that your celebrity trainwrecks ship comes in!
In a surprising turn of events, Hillary Clinton earns top rankings in New York City's most recent "Best-Dressed" list. The MILF edged out Knicks' coach Isiah Thomas, "female-first" homemaker Martha Stewart, and the birthday girl, Katie Couric herself.
Also crackingthe top ten were rapper Mos Def, Ivanka Trump, Andrew Giuliani, Charlie Rangel, Rachael Ray and Jon Stewart. Mariah Carey lead the way in the worst-dressed category, followed closely by Mayor Bloomberg, Headth Ledger and Michelle Williams, Mario Batali, Lil' Kim and Lindsay Lohan.
But far more interesting than the actual winners (and losers) was the reasoning behind the decision-making process. Check out this sampling, below:
KATIE COURIC: She may not be everyone's favorite correspondent but Couric sure can dress…
IVANKA: Little Miss Trumpshine is everywhere these days, from the parties at the Met to the pages of Stuff. But whether she's buttoned up or bosomed out, she manages to look fab.
MARIAH CAREY: Someone stole the belly off of every single outfit in her wardrobe!
MARIO BATALI: Love the man and his food dearly, but after a decade of shorts, vests and plastic sandals - with socks! - Batali's party-king uniform is wearing thin, just like that pony tail.
Not sure we agree with some of the top-picks, but definitely approved of the bottom-feeders. Way to go, Daily Snooze! Here's to hoping the fashionably-challenged will take this piece as a wake-up call!
• Spanish-language L.A. radio host El Cucuy turns self in following New Year's celebration that involved domestic violence charges.
• Oh look, sportscaster Jim Lampley joins that club, too.
• Ivanka Trump joins daddy Donald's bid to trample on Rosie O'Donnell for Apprentice ratings.
• Atoosa Rubenstein pleased with: the selection of Ann Shoket to replace her at Seventeen; not having to battle with Teen Vogue anymore.
• Giant's sale pricetag: $270k. Level of embarassment: seven figures, minimum.
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• In a surprising twist of fate, it was Whitney Houston who wowed at Barbara Davis' annual Carousel of Hope ball, while Ivana Trump had to be removed for being a wee bit too intoxicated. [R&M]
• X17 leads the paparazzi and tabloid charges in a possible lawsuit against blogger Perez Hilton. [Radar]
• Angelina Jolie readies the legal clan to sue the director of a Cambodian charity she's accusing of stealing funds. [Reuters]
• Madonna's adopted baby hopeful David is already joining the Kabbalah cult. [Scoop]
• Scientologists can aim their thetan meters at Paula Redstone, who planted the sour seed on Tom Cruise that eventually brought Sumner's distaste. [Page Six]
• Roger Friedman claims he had the Reese Witherspoon-Ryan Phillippe breakup scoop weeks ago — but decided not to run it. [Fox 411]
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