Is it just us, or is Ja Rule bragging about how he allows the "homosexuals in [his] family" over for Christmas is akin to that episode of Seinfeld where George tries to show how not-racist he is by stalking his exterminator in a misguided attempt at "proving" that he has black friends? [Queerty]

• What is it about New York that makes rappers break the law? Could it be the overabundance of money-cash-hoes?

• Two new water cruises to be offered in New York and they are sure to delight the whole family (by which we mean anyone over the age of 65).

• Finally, a way to make Harry Potter enjoyable for everyone!

• For those of you who haven't been outside, or looked out the window—or are unemployed, 27 and living in your parents' basement—it's raining. All day! Which means your flight (undoubtedly to somewhere sunny and pleasant) is most likely canceled.

• Have you heard? The South Bronx is so the new Williamsburg. Which is to say, it's currently affordable and trendy, soon to be ridiculously overpriced and totally over.

• Britney Spears promises to rap on her next album. And K-Fed can sing her back-ups.. [Spin]

• Everyone be alert, Pete Doherty is free and running wild. [NME]

• Former Spice Girl Gerri Halliwell just had a kid. How does Ginger Spice still get headlines? We always wonder when exactly people stop being celebrities? [Jam! ]

• Madonna seen without her wedding ring? Maybe it was getting to heavy for her osteoperosis bones. [MSNBC]

• Every rapper needs a posse who's sole purpose is to smack up some ladies. Especially Ja Rule — he can't actually reach their faces. [Page Six]

• The nominees for the PLUG Independent Music Awards have been released. Be sure to go vote! And if you've never heard of any of the nominees, feel free to vote on whichever band/song/album name makes the least sense, or which artist sounds most like someone high school jocks would like to beat up. [Plug]

• Courtney Love has once again been released to roam freely on the streets. Lets just hope this "new chapter in her life" doesn't end with her crotch broadcast on television — once was quite enough. [Billboard]

• To combat the extraordinarily high prices for tickets auctioned off on eBay and scalper sites, Coldplay is setting up an auction website to sell tickets for their upcoming tours. This doesn't, however, ensure that the tickets will be selling for any less — only that Coldplay will be seeing more of the money (with an undisclosed amount will be given to charity, natch). [NME]

• Link Wray, father of the "power chord," passed away over the weekend. As one of the most influential figures in rock n' roll history, he will be missed by guitarists and air guitarists everywhere. [AP]

• Sunday's New York Times gave 13-year-old Amber Ridinger's bat mitzvah treatment as exaggerated as the party, which featured live performances by Ja Rule and Ashanti. Despite the fact that the guests don't actually known when these stars were famous, the whole article made us vomit a little in our mouths. Ridinger is reportedly already working on resurrecting Tupac for her Sweet 16. [NYT]

• Snoop Dogg is planning to attend a rally at a prison to protest the execution of former gang leader, Stanley Tookie Williams. Snoop also requested a visit with Williams but got denied entrance into the facility, thus securing his place as the first black man trying to get in to prison. [NME]

• Irv and Christopherr Gotti's Murder Inc. money laundering trial started yesterday in Brooklyn — and Ja Rule and Ashanti were on hand to show their support of the Gottti's. And, of course, to get their names in the news for the first time in years. [VH1]

• The Kaiser Chiefs have cancelled upcoming shows after contracting a "highly contagious and rare virus." The band hasn't released any details about their mystery disease, but if its this bird flu everyone's talking about, they should probably keep out of the States for a while. [Aversion]

• Walk the Line director James Mangold just remembered that Johnny Cash was "thrilled" to be played by Joaquin Phoenix. It seems likely that in his final weeks, soon after losing the love of his life, these are the sorts of things that were on Cash's mind. [MTV]

• Stateside success is no longer "in Robbie Williams' schedule." Yes, and enjoying your music certainly isn't in ours. [Billboard]

• Aaron Carter is shopping around for a new record label, after "getting screwed" by the one he has been with since he was 7. Ugh, is this even music news? [Lowdown]

Yes, NY1, we get it: You were there too.

Rap moguls trial opens under spotlight [Newsday]