James Wolcott, the media and culture "expert" who, rather than be hired away by a university looking for somebody to produce immutable soundbites about things like media and culture, scribbles a column for Vanity Fair, takes on the "next wave" of Hollywood (see: Gossip Girl) in this way:

CONTINUED »

Between Maya Angelou and Armstrong Williams, James Wolcott is tired of the pundits. Ooh, but look, it's Naomi Wolf.

• James Wolcott gives Katie Couric more words than she has viewers.

• And you thought Times headlines were troubling.

• We've used everyone one of these cliches, and we'll continue to.

• MSNBC turns to LXtv to fix primetime.

• Madonna not overjoyed by black baby joke.

• It's official: Miss USA is now Miss ex-USA, which means she's ready for her Maxim cover.

• Generalized advice for generalized blogging.

• Coming this May: the cheapest magazine cover design ever. Brought to you by Bob Guccione Jr. and the good people at Discover. [WWD]

• The FBI is taking legal action in trying to gain access to Jack Anderson's archive. Anderson's son says he'll fight them the whole way through. He'll even buy a Blackberry to send out his word. Take that FBI. [CHE]

• You know who the real heroes of international plight are? Search engines. Just look at Yahoo. They're even helping jail writers in China. [Reuters]

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler once stated that she was done posing for guy-mags. And then she realized The Sopranos is in its last season. [FBNY]

• James Wolcott just loves him some made up words. Like rage-gasm, the one he brilliantly used to describe Michelle Malkin. [Wolcott]

• "Good" and "bad" are not descriptive enough words for reviews of books. (We would add "or reviews of book reviewers" to that concept.) [Slate]

• Choire Sicha says he had no idea what he was supposed to be doing as the editor of Gawker. But, as an editor at the Observer, he is definitely supposed to call publicists stupid. [PR Week]

• Only James Wolcott could fall in love with the checkout line at Barnes & Noble. [VF]

• Diane Sawyer should probably just end it now, before they make her a host on CNN. [Sun]

• There is no such thing as much too much Bonnie Fuller gossip. We thought we'd offer you the option of splurging with a third helping today. [Variety]

• Please, people. There is a very good reason why Elle Girl had to die: its audience grew up. [Ad Age]

• How Spin — the mag's editors are quitting via e-mail now? [Fishbowl]

• We love when Simon Dumenco says "duh." Especially when it refers to the over-exaggerated "death of newspaper." [Ad Age]

• James Wolcott knows a good cat fight when he sees one. And like a good media member, he'll pay a little more money when that brawl involves two conservatives. [VF]

• Even though Audacia Ray, the editor of $pread magazine "is no sleeping beauty," when she's not blogging, reviewing porn, or pole dancing on the subway, she sleeps. Blogging in fuck me boots is pretty exhausting. [Gothamist]

• Just like journalists, not all bloggers are good writers. Wow, these people just discover something new about this crazy sphere every day. [WSJ]

So, even though we were sent a link to James Wolcott's blog entry for today, it was sort of long and complicated, and it's Friday, so … we weren't really interested.

But, because we are fascinated by the concept of VFers blogging, we kept scrolling. And we discovered this very quirky (and surprisingly funny, almost hip) post.

So there I am on the bus (the M104, if you must know), and I run into this hypothetical acquaintance, who says: "Nifty shades, man. But I gotta ask. How can you watch L & O: Criminal Intent instead of The Sopranos? The Sopranos is superior in every way, shape, and form."

Really, my hypothetical interlocuter? Last night's L & O: CI was first-rate, Torn from Today's Headlines and performed with a smooth dark veneer, and in one aspect was irrefutably superior to The Sopranos. To wit:

No dream sequences.

To which we respond: we have no idea what's going on, but whoa. James Wolcott rides the bus? Or, is it all part of this hypothetical dream sequence and he's just imagining what life is like for the rest of the lowly bloggers? We feel like somehow, somewhere, acid and a remote control were definitely involved.

Oh and any M104 stalkers, feel free to send in your Wolcott sightings. (Note: he is not actually a cartoon in real life. We're pretty sure.)

The Land of Nod [James Wolcott, Vanity Fair]

• Let's stop and consider: what would Jesus blog? [NYP]

• You know you've made it media when college kids name drinking games after you. [Denver Westword]

• Aha! We wondered who was responsible for this insanity: you can now blame Jeff Jarvis for teaching James Wolcott how to blog. [Buzz Machine]

• We know someone who is defnitely keeping their Per Se reservation: Jeff Bewkes, the newly named president and COO of Time Warner. [Media Week]

• We're taking Bill O'Reilly out of D.C. for entertainment purposes. [Wonkette, Sepiamutiny]